Time Turner * Sirius Black✔️

8 6 * bonnie's questions and honoring wormtail

"A LIFE FOR a life." That is what Dumbledore had told her Firenze had warned. The centaur said to mess with time could easily ruin the future. Yes, good things can be changed, but at what cost?

For each person she saved, did someone else die? Was that how it was? Because Regulus was supposed to die in that cave, Peter had taken his place?

Dumbledore shot down that idea, saying not everything had to end in death, but some sacrifices must be made. Bonnie realized that was what he was trying to do with Marlene—make her a sacrifice in this war.

Was it just a game of chess? Did Tom Riddle contol the black pieces while Dumbledore controlled the white? Were they just pawns in the game? Where did that leave Bonnie? Bonnie knew their future if she did not continue her mission, was it time to let fate do what it shall? Should she stop messing with time? Would she lose her friends a different way? Peter was the traitor in the past life, but he was a hero in this one. Did that mean Lily and James would die in a different way? Perhaps, worse?

Bonnie's head hurt.

She knew one thing. There was no guarantee she would save all of her friends.

When she was sent back to her fifth year, she felt a miracle had happened. She took every moment like a grain of salt, wanting to remember everything since she missed so much time. Everything was going great behind the walls of Hogwarts and stuck under Dumbledore's fingers as he moved his pawns the way he wanted.

Now, she knew Albus Dumbledore was not evil, but he had just as much control over things as Tom Riddle did. He was just as bad when it came to fighting for power. Albus Dumbledore needed Bonnie alive because she had a power he knew not. He was envious of her power, but he was victorious since it was he who controlled her. How much would have changed if she was simply under Tom's rule instead?

She felt used.

Bonnie's eyes had not left the window on the front wall. She watched as night turned to day and day to night. She continued to hear Peter's cries, his screams. She heard him yelling for Regulus to save her. She watched over and over as his body was pulled beneath those murky waves.

Dumbledore had sent Peter on that mission. It would have just been Regulus and Bonnie. It should have been Regulus and Bonnie. Did that mean Regulus would have died had Peter not come? Did that mean she would have died?

A knock pushed her thoughts aside for a moment. She did not turn to look at who entered, but she could tell it was the same person who had that day. After all, they were taking turns babysitting her.

"Love?" James called, using the nickname only he ever used. He didn't remember when it stuck, but Bonnie did. The first night when she was sent back in time, he called her that. "Hey, love. I think you should eat something, yeah?"

Bonnie did not respond.

"I-I know it hurts... we've been hurting too," he whispered, "we've known him since we were eleven... b-but I know you have been feeling like you've failed. You haven't failed."

Bonnie turned to look at him, and he looked awful. She had yet to say a word to anyone, nor even move from her stiff position in the chair next to her bed. His hair was a mess, his eyes bloodshot, and his clothes were a bit scruffy.

"The funeral is tomorrow. You need to be there, love," he whispered.

"I will," she croaked.

His eyes widened when she answered. He smiled softly at her, wanting nothing more than to comfort her, but he was worried.

"When was the last time you've bathed?" he asked, not being rude, but he just wanting her to get up again.

"A few days," she answered. "Sirius tried to make me last night. He got miffed, yelled a bit. He slept on the couch."