The Me Inside Of Me (Chansaw Fanfic)

19. Needing Space

*my cover photos have nothing to do with the story*

January 21st
Heather Chandler.
"Do you wanna catch a movie?" Veronica asks me.

I don't know. I respond.

"Ok. How did you sleep? I fell asleep on the couch again. I'm sorry"

It's fine. Having the bed to myself some nights is fun. I respond again. This time it was more cold.

"Are you okay? You seem distant." She asks.

I'm fine, Veronica. I use her actual name. I don't know why. But I do. I don't like that I feel this way. It's been a few weeks since the accident and things just don't feel right anymore. I mean, I love Veronica. I can't imagine being with anyone else besides her. But right now, everything just feels so cold and gross.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me righ-"

Veronica, I'm fucking fine. Cant you lay off a little? I snap at her. I feel terrible. It's not the first time I've done this since I've been home.

"Sorry. I love you." She says as she walks out of my room. Something inside of me wants to get up and apologize but I'm still in a bad mood. I don't want to risk snapping again. I eventually drift off into a not so blissful sleep.

Heather chandler (dreaming)
"I just don't understand why you can't be happy with me?"

Veronica, that's not at all true.

"It clearly is! I just want to be here for you and love you but you're making it so hard to get through to you."

Veronica-

"It's fine. I get it. You need space. I'm gonna go stay with my cousin or something for a while. I don't want to invade."

Ronnie wait i love- but it was too late. The door had closed.
Heather chandler (awake)
My eyes shoot open. It's freezing in here. It's the middle of January. We're on winter break for another week so at least I don't have to go anywhere. The house seems quiet. Too quiet. I figure I'd go apologize to Veronica. I've been a total pillowcase recently.

I make my way down the stairs.

Ronnie? I call out.

Ronica where are you? I call out again.

I walk over to the kitchen table and find a note. I pick it up and my eyes widen.

Heather, don't blame yourself! This isn't because of you. I think it's because of me. I totally understand. You need space right now and I haven't been giving it to you. That's wrong of me. I kept trying to push my way in and force you to talk when you obviously didn't want to. I'm just gonna stay somewhere else for a while so you can have some alone time. ♡

Yours truly,
❥ Veronica ❥
I put the note back down on the table. Normally tears would fill my eyes but right now I just feel empty. Like there's no tears left inside of my tear ducts. I just walk back up the stairs. The way I do this is silent and emotionless...I open the door to my room, walk over to my bed, lay down under the covers and then stare at my wall. I try to cry because I know it's what I want to do but I can't.

Veronica Sawyer
I write the note and leave it on the table. Just writing her name on the outside of the folded piece of paper brought tears to my eyes. But I wouldn't let them fall. Instead I dried my eyes and made my way over to Macs house. I didn't want to bother Duke.