LITTLE ONES || NA JAEMIN

*CHAPTER 34

Jaemin groaned in his sleep as the light from the half-open blinds touched his eyelids. He muttered incoherent curses under his breath and burrowed further into the duvet to draw more warmth.

A shiver ran down his spine, and he shook violently like a child, the duvet providing him with no heat. His face was as pale as paper, eyes sunken and skin hollow. His head throbbed with sheer pain, and he wondered if it was because of the various liquor glasses he had chugged down last night.

Groggily, he sat up on the bed, vision blurry. Leaning against the headrest with eyes still half-closed, Jaemin gazed at the empty side of the bed, the coldness leaving him frozen.

His heart tugged with immense pain, and he very well knew what sat in his chest- guilt. The toxicity of his wrongdoings was slowly killing him, the sharp guilt edges piercing right through his heart. And he let it hurt him, eat him alive.

Jaemin closed his eyes, letting his mind replay her voice over and over like a broken stereo. He could hear her laughs, her witty remarks, her childlike whining, and he wanted nothing but to call out to her, beg for forgiveness.

But he knew he couldn't undo the damage he had done, couldn't make amends. And yet he shamelessly clung onto her, because she was his anchor, his way back home, his last shred of sanity.

As he let himself revert to his new normal, Jaemin slowly grabbed on his coat and headed for the front door of Jia's apartment.

"We need to talk," The monotonous voice of Jia filled the air, and Jaemin flinched at her oddly calm yet impassive tone.

"I'm busy. We'll talk l-"

"I said we need to talk. Sit." Jia cut him off mid-sentence, rigid eyes staring at the male with intense hostility.

"What do you want to talk about?" Jaemin had his indifferent mask on as he pulled on the chair to sit in front of the equally indifferent girl.

"Where are the kids?"

Anxiety pricked into his body as the words rolled out of Jia's lips, leaving his mouth agape. Jaemin stared at her with wide-open eyes, flashes of horror strokes flickering every now and then. He visibly gulped as he chanted curse words underneath his breath, his mind running a hundred miles with possible excuses.

"W-What do you mean?" Jaemin stuttered, vigorously rubbing his sweaty palms against his pants. "I told you. Don't you remember?"

"Mind telling me again?" She articulated. Her slender fingers rapidly tapped onto the kitchen counter as she smiled robotically with her clenched jaws.

"They are with Mark Hyung," The words blurted out almost immediately. Cold sweats glistened his gaunt features as he stared right into her black orbs. He watched as her never-changing soft eyes turned hard-rimmed and rigid, sucking the life out of him.

"I met Mark and Jeno at the convenience store last night."

As her words registered into his mind, Jaemin's perfectly sewed mask of pretense came crumbling down like an age-old castle. He let out a breathy exhale as his eyes glanced around, stubbornly refusing to meet her piercing glare.

"Where are they?" Jia lashed out, her self-control thrown right out the window.

The harsh yell sent a shiver run down his spine, and he winched at her loud voice. The discomfort in his chest heightened, and he did what he knew best, disguise his anxiety with anger.

"Why do you care? It is about my family, so leave it to me." Jaemin growled back- hard eyes narrowed as he stared at her with annoyance. "Stop prying into my matters."

Jia's face changed from anger to hurt, but Jaemin didn't back off. He only dug deeper, argued harder. His Pandora's Box opened, and he threw a hurricane of harsh insults, his out-of-control emotions taking over logic and rationality.

"Ahhhh, there you go again. Your family. Your feelings. Your life- everything is always about you and only you. What about me? What about my feelings?" Jia voiced her frustrations. The bitterness laced in her voice was like venom, and Jaemin's heart tugged further, the guilt only increasing.

"I've poured all my love into you. I've given my all to you. And all you gave me was scars after scars. Why?" A tear rolled down her eyes, but she didn't care.

"Am I not human? Am I not made of flesh and bones? Is my heart made of steel? You knowingly break my heart every day. I bring you love, and you bring me pain. Why?" Her voice sounded more pained than anything as she tightly gripped the counter in fear of losing her balance.

"While I offer you my warmth, you treat me like a doormat. You take everything from me, but you never value it. But I'm more than flesh and bones, Jaemin. And my heart is not made of steel. There's only so much I can take." Jia hurriedly wiped her tears with the back of her hands. But her eyes gave it all away- all the pain she had been hiding behind her smile.

Jaemin couldn't find the will to move his lips. He only stared, his mind blank and eyes wide. The guilt sat in his guts like fire, burning uncontrollably, and with tremendous force. He searched his mind for anything reasonable to say but couldn't find any. And so he whispered the first thing that came to his mind. "I'm sorry."

Jia raised her hands, gesturing him to stop with his apology. "I don't need your apology. I just want to know about my kids. I might not be their biological mother, but I have loved them more than anyone ever could, and always will. I have the right to know. Where are they, Jaemin? What did you do?"

Silence engulfed the two as he nervously shifted on his feet. A hint of frustration swirled in his iris mixed with weariness and resentment. He knew he couldn't hide it anymore.

"They are gone."

But, where did the kids go?