LITTLE ONES || NA JAEMIN

*CHAPTER 18

Jaemin sat on the couch, his feet tapping the dusty floor. A soothing melody played in the background like an early summer breeze. But with all the thoughts twisting and turning in his mind, he found it hard to relax. He brought his knees up to his chest as he sucked in the smell of coffee being brewed somewhere in the kitchen.

"Here you go." Jia passed him his death coffee that looked like a bottomless pit of dark souls.

Jaemin winched as he sipped his coffee- piping hot, overly bitter, and lacking real cream, just the way he liked it. He closed his eyes and drew in a lung full of the earthly air mixed with coffee aroma.

Just when he thought he was the master of his own thoughts, life decided to take a U-turn and bring him back to square one. 

Am I capable enough of taking care of three children?- that one thought stirred open long-buried questions and settled emotions like a freshly open wound.

"Jaemin?" came a voice more soothing than a thousand kisses.

Jaemin's downcasted gaze moved instinctively, looking for the source of the voice, and saw Jia sitting beside him. Her eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed tight as she stared at him with mixed emotions.

"Huh?" He questioned, unable to decipher her complicated gaze.

"Are you okay?"

And with that, tears burst forth like the water from a dam, trickling down his face like a waterfall. His lips quivered, and his body trembled feebly. His silent sobs were stifled at first, trying to hide his grief. But with every wall that kept him stronger collapsed, he broke down entirely. Overcome by raw emotions, his salty tears washed away the defenses he had built over the months.

Jaemin looked away, trying to hide his quivering lips and heaving shoulders. His long lashes brimmed heavy with tears, and his hands clenched into shaking fist in a desperate attempt to battle against the grief.

"Jaemin, look at me." Her clam voice sent a shiver run down his spine. He desperately wanted to turn around and melt in her hold. But he refused to look at her, unwilling to show her his distressed state.

Jia wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer, gently rubbing soothing circles on his back. He sunk into the warmth of her embrace and sobbed unceasingly into her shoulder, clutching onto her t-shirt. The pain came in waves, minutes of sobbing, and then short pauses for recovering breaths. She held him in silence, rocking him as his tears soaked her clothes.

Jaemin felt so small in her arms, so fragile. But her gentle touch made his grieving cold self warmer somehow. He felt safe in her arms, protected. Maybe, just maybe, life would be a little less bleak in her arms.

After a few more moments of inaudible racking sobs, his tears came to a stop as he calmed down. But he refused to let go of her. He only pulled her closer and rested his head on the crook of her neck. Despite the heaviness in his stomach, his heart fluttered at their close contact. His skin tingled at the feeling of her body pressed against his. The two sat there in silence, enjoying each other's presence before Jaemin decided to break the ice.

"They are not dead."

Mmmm? So? Who's not dead?