LITTLE ONES || NA JAEMIN

*CHAPTER 39

Jia laid almost motionless in his arms- whispers echoing in the back of her head, her demons on the loose. Her mind deluded her into accepting that it was her fault that Donghyuck was going to suffer.

"I'll make sure your little Hyuckie would whimper in pain as I skin him alive."

The words sat on her conscience, the fear and guilt eating her. She clung onto Jaemin- breathings ragged and mind in tatters.

"What if she hurts him? She wouldn't hurt him, would she? She is his mother. She gave birth to him. She won't be that cruel, right?" As her mind raced with dreadful thoughts, she couldn't help but question the consequences of her actions.

"Peaches, calm down. Take deep breaths, deep breaths." Jaemin gently ran his hands up and down her arms, trying his best to help her steady her slightly irregular breathing.

Jia did as instructed, and her raging nerves slowly calmed down at his touch. But she couldn't let go of the fact that her involvement would affect Donghyuck's wellbeing. She looked at him with wide eyes as she sucked in a trembling breath. "But-"

"It was not your fault, Jia. You just wanted to protect him. Please stop hurting yourself." Jaemin ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek, his eyes raking over her face with worry.

He pulled her into his chest- his arms snaked around her body tightly. "Everything's going to be alright, hmmm."

Jia bopped her head up and down as she pressed her cheeks against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Music to her ears, her foreboding thoughts slowed down a little as she ruminated over her thoughts.

Jaemin felt the chill swirl in his veins, the coldness bringing his senses to a standstill. The quietness grew deeper, only the sound of his hammering heart audible. His own mind replayed various scenarios, but he chugged it all down, repeatedly assuring himself that everything was going to be okay.

"I..." Jia spoke in an audible whisper, her heart heavy. She expelled a deep breath- her mind raked with jumbled thoughts.

"I know what it feels like to grow up in an abusive family. When you should be loved and cared for, the hateful words and indifferent attitude only leaves unhealing scars. Each harsh word feels like a lash from a whip, creeping into your psyche- leaving you broken."

"My parent, they were never home. And when they were, they only complained about how ungrateful I was for not doing the house chores, that I was useless and a mistake, that I shouldn't have been born."

"They say words cut deeper than a knife. It's true. Those cruel words are embedded into my soul as if scribbled with a permanent marker, inflicting damage after damage until I was numb. But my thirst for love never diminished, and I bounced from one to another, looking for a little bit of warmth. And so, I lived in pain for years, yearning for only one thing while living with maximum love. But, it still hurts. The scars, the trauma- it's nothing but a nightmare."

The numerous scars that decorate her soul, each had a story to tell- the tales of her plumping into pain, giving in to her demons as well as those of her taking minute steps to be better, to be stronger. Those painful memories of her childhood and teenage were chapters, deep and horrible, something she wouldn't want even her worst enemy to go through.

Jia sniffled in a sob, her lips pursed together as she locked her eyes with Jaemin's. "I know it all. I've lived through it all. And I don't want Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jisung to go through the same. They deserve to be loved, to be cared for. They have suffered enough in the past. Jaemin, I-"

"I know," Jaemin whispered, pulling her back in his arms. "I'm sorry you had to suffer so much, and I wish I were there for you, with you. Your sufferings, I wish I could take it all away. But I only added to you scars, and I'm sorry for that."

His hand found its way to her cheeks again, cradling her with love. "But we won't let Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jisung go through the same. I promise."

Hey guys! I honestly don't know how to express my gratitude for all the encouragement I received. *ahem* ₚᵤᵦₗᵢ𝒸 ᵇʳᵉᵃᵏᵈᵒʷⁿ *ahem*. I truly needed that. I was feeling so lost. I still am, but better than before. All because of you guys.

I won't be deleting it. But I might work on it later on. After I'm done with the whole story.

Thank you so much for appreciating my work, for reading this ff. I love you all and for all the support that you've shown me, I'm grateful. You guys are honesty the best, and you make my days so much better. 🥺

And regarding the plot for the ff, I have some ideas as to how to get the kids back. But, I'm hesitant and kind of worried regarding that part. So I'm accepting ideas. Please feel free to dm me your ideas/tips/suggestions, or you can comment below. I would really appreciate that.