Into The Fire [H.S.]

38

I wake up to Harry's eyes boring holes into my face. I don't know how long I've been asleep. I'm still high as a fucking kite, so I can't been out that long.

"Why are you so close to my face?" I gripe. Rolling over and looking at the wall. I'm still exhausted. It's because of the weed. Zayn knows I love my Indicas.

"We aren't going to pretend you told me to ask you for a divorce." Harry snaps, rolling me back so I'm looking at him.

He's angry at me. He's always fucking angry at me. "You're so dramatic." I roll away from him. Face the wall. Squeeze my eyes shut.

He growls. One minute I'm drifting back to sleep. The next I'm pinned underneath him. His hand on my throat.

"Finally." I let out an exhale.

Harry glares down at me. His face looks furious. His eyebrows drawn together. His mouth set in a thin line. His jaw taught with tension.

How is he still so beautiful?

Realization shines in his eyes. If I thought he looked pissed before, he looks down right livid right now.

"Baiting me by threatening divorce?" He grinds his hips against me.

Making me suck in a sharp breath.

"If you missed me you should have just said that." He pushes away from me.

"Asshole." I snap out.

He whirls around and glares down at me. "Don't call me an asshole."

"You haven't touched me. Slapped my ass. Grabbed my tit. Made a perverted comment. You... I.... Just whatever."

He shakes his head at me. "Whatever... Really Echo?"

"Yeah whatever!" I get off of my old bed and stomp down the stairs.

Not caring that I'm not exactly being mature. Not caring that I'm having a shouting match in my parents house. It wouldn't be the first time one of us got into it with a significant other. Definitely wouldn't be the last.

I yank open the back screen door and stomp out onto the lawn. I know he's right behind me.

"Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you." His voice booms.

He's fucking scary when he's angry. But he's not the only one.

I suck on my hash pen. Blow out the smoke. "Don't tell me what to do Harry."

His nostrils flare. He looms over me. "I was giving you space."

Oh that's... "Did I ask for fucking space? Did I once say... Don't touch me? Did you ever think how that might make me fucking feel?" I let out a bitter laugh. "You haven't been able to keep your hands off of me for a solid 9 months. Then you hear some fucked up shit and you don't touch me. Maybe if everyone stops treating me like I'm fucking broken... Like I'm damaged.... Like I'm used goods.... Like... Like I'm a fucking freak." I'm crying now. Hot angry tears are splashing down my face. I need to go. I need to get out of here. I turn to move through the back gate. Niall has my keys. Or he threw them at Harry. "Give me my keys."

"No." Harry shakes his head at me.

"Give me my fucking keys Harry." I can't be here right now. I can't take him looking at me like he pitties me. Like I'm disgusting.

"No" He raises an eyebrow at me. He's completely calm. His anger from earlier has seemed to evaporate into thin air. While mine is boiling over the surface, igniting everything it touches. He just stares at me.

"FUCK YOU!" I pick up the first thing my hand touches and hurl it at him. He doesn't move. The lighter just whizzes past his face.

I hear a gasp come from inside the house. I know my whole family is watching. All our friends.

The screen door bangs open. I don't look behind me. Harry just holds up his hand. Completely silent. It makes my anger bubble up again. I'm completely done with today, with all of it.

I move quickly to leave and his hand wraps around my wrist. He pulls me in front of him. Wraps his arms around me.

"Now you want to touch me?" I bite at him. Bringing my hands up to shove him away from me. But the fucker doesn't budge. He's like a fucking stone wall. I push with everything I have and he doesn't move.

He just wraps his arms around me tighter.

I want to punch him. I want to slap him. Pull his hair. Make him hurt as much as he's been hurting me by not touching me.

Frustrated tears well up.

"I hate you." My voice is quivering. "I hate you so fucking much."

He lets his lips whisper over my forehead. His hands running up and down my back.

I don't want his comfort. I don't fucking want it.

"I fucking hate you." I sob out.

"I know, baby." Harry's voice washes over me.

The tears fall hot and quick. The sobs wracking my body.

I push at him. Beat at his chest with my fists. But he doesn't let me go. He just takes it.

I sob over and over that I hate him. And he just keeps saying in that calm voice. I know, baby.

When I've finally exhausted myself he wraps me up in his arms and carries me back into the house and up the stairs. He lays me back into my old bed. His arms keeping my body tucked into his.

"Do you feel better?" He asks softly. His lips whispering over my cheeks, my closed eyes, my lips.

I do feel better. I feel like I've let the rage that's been building up out... But I let it out on him and that makes me feel like absolute dog shit.

He doesn't deserve it.

"Tink...I'm so sorry." My voice is strained. Raspy. Sore. From all the screaming and the yelling. I'm completely ashamed of myself. "I..."

"Shhh Little Shit." His lips press against mine again. "You needed to get it out."

I'm appalled at my behavior. "I threw something at you...I hit you..."

"You needed to get it out." He says again. "Are you ready to hear me?"

I'm not. I'm not ready. I should be. But I'm not. I shake my head no. "Can you just.... can you hold me.... Please? I... I...." My voice cracks. "I want to feel safe again."

I know we are going to have to talk eventually. I know this is inevitable. But right now I just... I want to fall asleep wrapped in his arms.

He says nothing. Just pulls me against his chest and holds me tighter.

It's what I need. It's everything in this moment.