(Mipha is back online)
Mipha: Ugh... where is everyone?!
Mipha: ....
Mipha: Come on!!! Don't keep me waiting you lunatics!!!!
(Link is back online)
Link: Mipha!!! You're alright???
Mipha: Huh?
Link: I was so worried that you might've gotten worse! How do you feel sweetie???
Mipha: I feel fine you little twit.
Link: ....
Mipha: What was that garbage you were burning in the kitchen anyway?
Link: I was making stew... for you...
Mipha: FOR ME? WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU? A DOG???
Link: M-Mipha... this isn't like you...
Mipha: Now what? This moron here thinks he can fix things between us?
Link: ....
Mipha: Phh... a mistake, that's what all this is.
Link: I'm confused... maybe we could talk this ou-
Mipha: That's it buster, I'm getting a divorce.
Link: HOLD UP RIGHT THERE YOU UNGRATEFUL, SICKLY PIECE OF RAW FISH
Mipha: .....
Link: ......
Mipha: ..
Link: O-Oh... I didn't just... I didn't just say that..
Mipha: ...
Link: AHH WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???
Mipha: Jump off a cliff, will you? At least this place will be better without the likes of you
Link: 😞😞😞
Mipha: That's right, always at a loss for words. I'm out of this trash.
(Mipha has left Champion's Hangout)
Link: M-My head is killing me... WHY DID I TALK LIKE THAT TO MY WIF-
(Revali is back online)
Revali: Good morning wonderful people! This is Revali speaking, and I'll be your host for this beautiful da-
Link: REVALI.
Revali: Hold up Link, I want to get this just righ-
Link: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY WIFE??????
Revali: Huh?
Link: I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW AND CARVE YOUR PLUMP, FEATHERY CHEEKS FOR DINNER IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME
Revali: Geez Link... calm down, you're flooding the chat... what's wrong with you?
Link: EXCUSE MEEEEEE???
Revali: Looks like I don't even have to be here for hell to spawn.
Link: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO ME
Revali: ???
Link: It all started with a headache.. now I'm having trouble breathing and... I'M TALKING LIKE REVALI
Revali: I don't know whether to take that in as a compliment or a joke
Link: IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT
Revali: 😑
Link: You... you ruined my relationship with Mipha...
Revali: Geez man, it's not like you two are getting divorced or anyt-

YOU ARE READING
Link & Champions Group Chat
FanfictionThis book stars Link and the Champions messing around in a group chat on Sheikah Slates. The timeline takes place one year before the Calamity, though I will incorporate a few creative elements that aren't necessarily linked to the actual timeline...