Journey to the Past (Part 1)

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(Link is back online)

(Daruk is back online)

(Revali is back online)

Revali: Okay Link. So, what did you mean exactly by "I feel like something is going off in the background"

Daruk: You sounded constipated in the voice call

Revali: Good Hylia have mercy on his diarrhea

Daruk: I'm telling you, it's the beans. Too many.

Revali: Too true

Daruk: 🗿

Link: ...

Link: Are you guys done?

Revali: Yeah we're done.

Link: Alright... what I was trying to say was that something... funny is going on with Zelda....

Revali: Wait, don't tell me y'all are playing "House" or something 💀

Link: ........

Link: You're kidding, right?

Daruk: 🗿

Link: I'm a married guy, doofus. Wtf is wrong with your brain? These jokes aren't even remotely funny anymore.

Revali: I mean...

Link: You know what, don't answer that. I just really need to tell you guys what's going down. It's freaking me out.

Revali: Meaning?

Daruk: Why don't you start all over for context?

Revali: DARUK! YOU'RE USING YOUR NOGGIN FOR ONCE!!!

Daruk: :)

Link: ...

Link: So it all started this morning...

Revali: You're telling us the events Link, not reciting a freaking novel

Link: Can I finish?

Revali: Hold up, my mom just finished a solid batch of cookies

Link: Dude.

Revali: DID I MENTION A SOLID BATCH?! LITERALLY CHEF'S KISS

Link: ....

Daruk: That's nice, man.

Revali: Anyhoo, continue. I need to get milk anyway.

Link: 😶

Link: So... Zelda and her father, along with some weird guys in robes... I overheard them talking about something strange

Daruk: Go on...

Link: They kept referring back to the Temple of Time... of which I haven't visited in years. Apparently it was left untouched by Ganon during the Calamity

Daruk: I remember that...

Revali: Screw the cretin, he was easier than parking Medoh on the damn rock

Daruk: Sureee

Link: Guys guys...

Link: Listen, the weird thing is... they were talking of me escorting Zelda to the Temple

Revali: What's so weird about that?

Link: I've never escorted her there, nor am I aware of a good reason why-

Revali: Speaking of, why do they call it the Temple of Time? That's got to be the stupidest name imaginable

Link: Your name translates to "gluttony rotisserie" in Goron

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