❝𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘬𝘺, 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘪 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺?❞
"just let me love you, all of you. everything that you come with, i'll love you regardless."
after having her trust crushed into...
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☾✰
It was absurd.
I could no longer bare the internal torment that's been gushing through my body every second. As my pen gently taps on the notes in front of me, I feel even more breathless. I can't stand being in the same room as Felix, I can't stand the humiliation and guilt that's held me captive.
My eyes shoot up to see him paying close attention to the lecture in front.
It's funny.
It's funny how diligently focused he is when I'm the one that basically hurt his feelings. Is this what karma is? Is this my punishment?
Suddenly I notice a shift in his posture, he slowly but casually glances at the back, where I sit. Our eyes stay still in each other's for a little while, until I couldn't stand looking at those glazing, cold orbs.
What was he thinking right now? Does he hate me? I couldn't decipher, but as I could no longer tolerate the walls crushing in on me, I raise my hand and ask to use the bathroom.
I could feel Felix's eyes lingering behind me as I walk up and retrieve the pass, a chilling shiver swallows me down. It makes me speed walk out the classroom even faster, which was probably for the better.
The stalls were empty and I could finally breathe.
Splashing my face with cold water, I had come to a conclusion.
I was going to talk to Felix today. I had to. I need to converse it out with him, apologize yet again for my harsh remarks, although it scares me that it won't mend what's probably shattered at this point.
But at least I'll know that I exclaimed my feelings across, that I tried. It was really up to him, whether or not to forgive me and I can't blame whatever decision he makes.
••
I stood at the rooftop, the rude air almost blowing me away. There wasn't a single person but Ivy there and well now, me.
It's been 10 minutes, Felix would never arrive this late. I knew he wouldn't come, I knew he'd keep his distance now, but part of me had hoped that he'd still make his way here.
"Just let him have his space, Hae."
I nodded, finally settling down to eat. It wasn't a quiet lunch like I had initially anticipated, but it was still spirit lifting. Ivy made me watch several fancams of her favorite idols while I just stared her down with her comedic remarks and constant squealing. At least I felt laughter jump out of me.
Heading down, I spot a familiar golden stranded boy. He turns around to my direction and our eyes my eyes meet once more.
"Felix!" I called out as I felt a crowd of eyes staring at me. I wanted to shrivel up and hide in a pit with these unwanted glances. I forgot how much attention Felix brought, especially with a person like me.
