stuck with a phobia ; lee felix

𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓽𝔂-𝓯𝓸𝓾𝓻

☾✰

"School festival?" I squinted my eyes at the vibrant poster plastered on nearly every wall in our school. Some way to make the message prevalent.

I remember the first time I had attended, which was during my freshman year, and it was undoubtedly terrible.
Without Ivy, who could not come at the time, I was absolutely lost. I knew no one, and no one knew me. It was as if everyone was just absorbed in their own splendid world, and I was caught wandering on the cracked pavement, how to fit in.

The whole event was designed to socialize anyway, there were no intriguing stalls nor appetizing dishes that could distract me out of my pitiful misery. The epitome of an awkward nightmare.

No doubt that this event was going to end up as another hot topic for everyone to gossip about; making plans on what sort of alcohol to sneak in, what to do for an after party, the usual.

To me, it was just another school event to ditch and have myself confined at home—ordering takeout and watching movies. I swear, it really isn't as boring as it sounds.

There would be no point in me going regardless, I would be torturing myself in boredom by just sitting down and doing absolutely nothing.

I sighed, knowing no sort of earplug could inundate the pestering chatters all around pertaining to the measly festival. Hearing the same news repeatedly was just annoying.

Needless to say, walking down the hallway myself this morning welcomed an odd sense of nostalgia. I eyed Ivy's locker—which was just across from mine, still rusty as ever, and beheld the same silly stickers she would graffiti as a means of making what is her's, "stand out."

I was missing her more than ever.  Her abrupt antics, her perverted jokes, and 'go out and live' mojo. It was a shame we could not always communicate, the infamous con of distance.

Now, all I could do is just stare back and reminisce the memories of us two, since she seemed to be living the life in New York. Her social life was rooftop high, as she posted about new places every weekend. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a bit jealous.

Yet somehow, I seemed to be crawling out of my shell more than ever in her absence.

~~

third person pov

"PAHAHAHAHA," Jisung slapped his thighs as he erupted with hysterical cries that could be heard from all the way in the tropic lands of Hawaii.

"Jisung! Would you stop laughing?" Felix clicked his tongue, irritated at the boy who was drawing more attention towards them as students filled the classroom like a school of minnows.

Felix sighed, exasperated. He jumped off the shaky desk he was sitting on, and grabbed a chair to face the squirrel-like boy laughing his soul away.

"I'm sorry, let me...let me just get this out of my system," he pretended to wipe away tears, still laughing like a maniac. "So you told her, she's your best friend? That's the funniest and most obvious lie I heard all day, and Seungmin told me I wasn't funny for giving him expired orange juice. Can you believe that guy?"

Felix bit his tongue, "Look Jisung—the point is, I panicked! I said it out of the blue and I knew if I said anything other than that, she'd, well...break my heart," he blabbered, fiddling with his fingers.

Jisung stared at his distraught friend, understanding the fear installed in him. He placed his hands on Felix's shoulders, looking him dead in the eye. "Listen Lix, if you're ever going to say anything, you might as well do it thoroughly rather than impulsively. Give her the time to catch on too. You never know what runs through someone's mind; a face can conceal years worth of emotions."