stuck with a phobia ; lee felix

new problem

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Ivy's words were constantly ringing in my head, like a sharp headache. It left my heart racing and my breath growing faster as I walked to school alone. Why do I feel like this?

I felt as if I was overthinking the situation by a lot. Therefore, I decided to just go with the flow. It's not like Ivy would be speculating each and every one of my movements.

Nevertheless, this is for me. What I see as the best decision is what I'll go forward with, so I'll move on with my day like I always have.

Just like that, Ivy's advice began to fade away and leave my worries, as I decided to stick with what I felt was comfortable.

As first period rolled around, I quickly shifted to my usual seat before our health teacher would scold me for being up when he walks in. I sat nearer to the back, not all the way but close. It was typical of me, but what would you expect from someone who hisses at the thought of human interaction.

Mr. Nam walks in with a strangely bright mood, a smile laced on his lips and the way he walked looked like he was dancing a little. I wonder if he got laid last night.

My thoughts were quickly interrupted when Mr. Nam jubilantly announces "Alright class, take your seats, we have a new student accompanying our class today and some of you may share a similar or the same schedules. Please be kind, and treat him well. You may come in Mr. Lee!"

As everyone sat up curious of who the new mystery boy is, I rested my chin on my hand, a yawn escaping from my mouth.

He walked in with a confident stance, smiling brightly like he was excited to start school; his hands dug into his pockets midway with only one strap of his bag placed on his shoulder, his school uniform was neatly ironed, and one thing I noticed immediately were his freckles.

God, there were so many freckles on his face, it was admirable. It makes you want to count them each, and stare at them like you have nothing better to do. His rich blonde hair was styled in a way in which his bangs fell over his eyes, allowing him to gradually take his hands out of his pockets and move them elegantly with his fingers. His hair looked soft, it was flourishing and I couldn't look away. I didn't want to look away.

"Hello, I'm Lee Felix. I'm glad to meet you all, I hope we can all get along!" He beams, and his eyes quickly scan over everyone in the classroom. Our eyes met, and naturally I formed a small, not genuine smile.
I watched as his lips curved up slightly more.

Mr. Nam points to the seat diagonal from mine, the one next to the person ahead of me. That's good, there's still distance.

The guys seemed fond of him, probably believed he was the chill type, while the girls couldn't take their eyes off of him and watched over him until our teacher cleared his throat for our attention.

After that tedious lesson, class was over, which meant shifting over to Chemistry. Ugh, I know it's only been 45 minutes, but can the day be over already?

Right when I reach for the door handle, my hand grazes over someone else's hastily. "Oh, hello." A sudden familiar, yet deep voice calls out, sending me uncomfortable shivers. I turn over to the side only to look up to Felix smiling softly at me as my hand was still on top of his. I quickly pulled mine away, "Hey."

"Wow, we share Chemistry together as well? That's neat! You could show me around while you're at it as well?"

"Uh, could you open the door? I don't want to be late." Felix's large smile slowly fades at my vague response as he apologizes, and holds the door for me. I held in my breath without even noticing.

At this point I was praying he wouldn't take the empty seat next to me, but through the corner of my eyes I saw him sit in the far back row. Oh thank goodness.

"Mr. Lee, stand up would you?" All eyes raced towards Felix as the boy stood up awkwardly.

"Why, don't sit back there! Since you're pretty unfamiliar here, I think it's better for you to sit up front," our teacher advises. "Here, come sit next to Hailee."  Well things seemed to be going in my favor.

I didn't bother to look back at the boy, nor give a friendly gesture, as he approached the seat right next to mine. My eyes were locked on my notes I took last class, and not only can I feel his dangerous stare, but the eyes of literally every other student noticing me once more again.

I didn't like this. The stares from everyone who probably didn't even know I was in their class penetrated my back. I despised the attention.

I had no intentions to speak with Felix, but that changed quickly as we were to discuss our thoughts on a certain question.  Felix turned to me, and I had to admit, this guy really knew what he was going on about and it's just his first day. All I could do was mutter "I agree," and explain my reasoning a bit, but not as much as Felix. I bet he can go on all day.

"So your name is Hailee, huh?" He randomly blurts. "I like the name!" Did he really have to be optimistic with every sentence that escapes his mouth.

"Say, I didn't get the chance to make any friends yet, so let's be friends!" He puts his fist out, thinking I would bump mine with his. I knew this would happen.

"No thanks. I'm sure you'll make plenty. The whole school will eventually turn upside down for you." I warned, hoping he leaves me alone after that.

"But-"

"Alright class, let's hear some ideas!" Our teacher interrupted.

None of us said a single word throughout the entire period and once the bell rang, I quickly shoved everything into my bag and left the room, not even hesitating to look back at Felix.

I scurried to Math, hoping he didn't share this class with me as well. I hope he isn't too persistent with being friends with me, but then again the whole school will go crazy over face like his so I'll be forgotten after today.

Once everyone in class gathered and the lesson was about to begin, I looked around scanning every seat hoping Felix wasn't sat in any of them. It'd be so weird to share the same classes in a row like this, but to my luck he was nowhere to be seen. I sighed in relief sitting back and now bringing my attention towards the front, not worrying about Felix.

Finally, it was time for lunch and I was just dying to meet Ivy and let out all that happened. But of course, I knew I was in for another session of Ivy explaining how I let go of some great opportunity of making a new friend. I personally think I did a great job of keeping my boundaries.

"H-Hailee!" I hear the once more amicable voice in the distance, knowing far too well who's it belonged to. I kept walking, pretending as if the loud and crowded hallway prevented me from hearing Felix call out my name. I didn't feel any guilt whatsoever because I was positive he was going to ask if we could eat lunch together, and there was no absolute way I was going to eat with him. Not Felix, not the boy the entire school wants to get with right now.

I hurry over to the rooftop, aware it was empty because the only people who eat their lunch up there was Ivy and I. As soon as I open the door, I spot her gulping down a bottle of water.

"Ivy, I've got a problem."

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ASKWOSEIFHCJSEN BACK DOOR WAS SO GOODDDD

Honestly, from the fits to the lyrics to the entire song and mv in general, I'm at a loss for words..BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE UNIQUE CHOREO THO LIKE OHMYBEBCBFJEHFEI love this album so much :(