stuck with a phobia ; lee felix

heartfelt rhythm

☾✰

The wind swirls with a melodious passion, sending tingles across my skin, and allowing the strands of my hair to dance swiftly with it. It's an onward rhythm that whisks through the air discreetly, cornering every pathway and stirring the ambience like a midsummer daydream.

I could divulge in this wakefulness.

Felix doesn't shut up about being called "Lix," it's like he's seen diamonds rain from the sky. Although, raining diamonds would be the least of his surprise.

But he says the nickname with such charm and pleasure that's embedded in his smile — like it's a wishful rhythm dancing on his tongue. On one hand, it was wholesome as fuck. On the other, I wanted to sew his mouth shut because of the redundancy.

I try to walk ahead of him as he skips along like it's a childhood tune, "God you are so embarrassing," I sigh and shield my face.

"What's so embarrassing about my name? I'm starting to love it more than ever, Li—ouch!"

He winces in pain and his hand immediately brushes over to his forehead that I just flicked. "What was that for?!"

I finally laugh, his quick change in demeanor brings a smile to my face.

"I'm glad my misery makes you happy," he gloats.

"Calm down princess, it didn't even hurt that much."

"You wouldn't know," he mutters and I chuckle loudly.

The sun was long gone and now the sky was dark, void from any glint of stars tonight. It's a bit disappointing, watching stars scintillate the sky arouses a sensation I can't even describe.

I just want to sit out and collapse with the breeze while I dream of floating and touching the curtains of the sky, drunk off its atmosphere.

"Looks like buses are going to be bit late at this hour, should I call a taxi?" he asks while his eyes are cemented on his phone screen. Yet, even in distraction, his beauty is unmatched. Gangnam's pretty far from home, which meant that we still have an hour left to go.

"No it's fine, we can wait."

"You just want to spend more time with me, huh? I can't blame you, I am some hot shit around here, " he says smugly and it took all of me to not flick his forehead again.

"Keep dreaming," I mumble when in reality, he wasn't lying. He is hot shit.

The walk to the bus stop wasn't long, but it dragged on in the slow ambience of the night. My hand subconsciously takes my phone out, it was almost 10 PM and not a single message from my mother.

I guess I don't really matter until I'm needed. My heart is only to be kept for storage — incapable of feeling. I think that's how she thinks.
I was abandoned by a father, now I'm ditched by my mother. I think I'm invincible now.

"So, my birthday is soon," Felix begins abruptly, his voice laced with expectedness.

My eyes widen at the epiphany. I don't want to think about my family when I'm with him. He tugs all the bad memories away.

His birthday was so close and it nearly slipped my mind. He's turning 18, and with a family like his, they're probably throwing a party with fireworks and fancy winery.

Gross.

"What are you gonna do for it?" I ask, watching how his eyes gleam even without the presence of any stars. His face works like magic and sometimes I want to keep staring without averting my gaze.