Always there for me

Chapter 18 Doing something I hate

~ Luke's POV ~
I set my alarm a little so when it went off in the morning I could talk to her about something had been on my mind for a while. There was so many things though. I might be leaving and she had no idea. I have feelings for her and she doesn't know. I needed to say goodbye but that would break her heart.

She tried to move when the alarm went off but obviously my arms were still wrapped tightly around her. I quickly let her go blushing when her eyes met mine but she placed them back where they were and hugged me tight. She was so happy and I didn't want to upset her so I decided to leave her and keep the thoughts to myself but that just made the anger build up inside of me.

My hands began to shake uncontrollably and I reached for my pills. "omg! What's wrong Luke are you ok what's happening?" She looked really scared but I couldn't help her. Or myself. I needed to get my feelings out but I couldn't. Kayla ran out the room shouting for my mum and when she was gone it was as if everything I was keeping inside burst out. I screamed and kicked and punched every wall in my room. I threw books, pens, my clock and even my phone. My mum came rushing in trying to calm me down. My brother Ben was standing in the doorway with Kayla, who was crying with fear, trying to comfort her. I was forced to take more pills even though they were making no difference. After a while my mum had calmed me down and I was sitting on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest and slowly rocked backwards and forwards refusing to explain what had made me angry.

I was angry at myself for getting myself in the position to have to make important decisions. Only I knew that and my anger attack was so bad it scared me. I was doing something I hated and that was holding everything inside.

~ Kayla's POV ~
After the mornings dramas we finally set off for school. Liz, Luke's mum, had said it would be better for us both to have a normal day again. When we were walking in to school I told Luke that he had really scared me that morning.
"I'm sorry Kayla. I didn't mean to upset you but I just can't control it. My anger it, it scares me as well and half the time I don't know what to do. Don't be scared of me please Kayla don't be scared!" He looked like he was going to cry. "I will try not to be scared of you Luke." He looked so relieved.
"Oh great looks who's back!" I rolled my eyes and turned round to see Chloe. "go away Chloe." She stared at me and slapped me across the face. I had had enough! So I punched her. I did right on the nose and I made her nose bleed. But I didn't regret it. "Well done Kayla!" Luke praised me and shot Chloe a death stare.

When I realised what I had done I ran off to the bathroom and got out my blade. Luke made me throw it out ages ago but I went and got it back I knew I would need it at some point. I drew it back and forward across my wrists watching the blood pour down my arm.

When I had finished cutting I splashed some cold water on my face and went to my class. Luke was nowhere to be seen. I walked into class and took my seat.

It was just a boring algebra lesson and I had no idea what I was doing. Luke always helped me since his mum was a maths teacher.

~ Luke's POV ~

I decided to ditch school. I just couldn't be bothered. I would make up some excuse for Kayla when I went to go her after school.

Ashton was picking me, Calum and Michael up as we had some meeting thing.

I was lying to Kayla and I hated it. I kept doing things I hated.

We had a meeting about our schedule and what was happening with the band. We were given a load of pieces of paper and a load of shit. I got bored and took a load of selfies with Calum from under the table.
I started to pay attention when I was given some news that blew me away.

Thank you guys for all the reads it means so much to me. I am still trying to get over the fact that people are even reading this!