Forbidden Love [Loki x reader] (Part 1)

Chapter 32 - accepted

— your POV —

It really didn't take Steve long to get everyone in Loki's room. He would probably hate it that they are here but as I said, I can't leave him alone, not again. Some were sitting on the couch and the rest was standing because there obviously wasn't enough space for everyone.

-Y/n: "I don't say that often, so I don't know maybe record it or something like that, but I'm terribly sorry for what happened."
-Clint: "Why did you act out like that?"
-Y/n: "I thought she was dead. I thought everyone was dead. Seeing her, fighting on the side of the Chitauri's. I got mad, really mad and I couldn't hold back. At the same time I was happy to see her alive."
-Tony: "nice and good but that doesn't explain it to me."
-Y/n: "We fought side to side against poor people who didn't do anything. I quit when I noticed that something was wrong. Seeing her and having this feelings just made me feel like we were back in those days and I did as we always did it: Not fair, not looking out for others except for ourselves." 
-Thor: "Why did you leave?"
-Y/n: "I hoped I could change her mind, try to tell her that it's not necessary to fight against you, try to keep the chaos away from Midgard until I realised that I am the chaos I always wanted to keep away from everyone."
-Thor: "Where did you go?"
-Y/n: "Asgard."
-Natasha: "It got destroyed. Why would you go there?"
-Tony: "Please don't tell me that-"
-Y/n: "No! No. I mean yes, Selene heard that Hela maybe survived, that's why we flew there but instead of her we met Ares. But no, Hela should be dead."
-Steve: "And you couldn't change their minds?"
-Y/n: "When Selene wanted something she got it. No matter who had to suffer, what she had to give for it, or who had to die. Ares on the other side didn't need more than a fight he could win."
-Tony: "You killed them. You killed your siblings. Tell me why we should let you stay an Avenger."
-Steve: "Tony-"
-Tony: "No! She killed her family. Tell me why she wouldn't kill us, or if she would sacrifice herself for the humans that live here."
-Y/n: "He's right. I killed them because I had no other choice. It was either you or them and because I wanted to see them dead for so long I took that opportunity."
-Bruce: "How can you be so cruel?"
-Y/n: "You have no idea what being cruel is. I had my very own reasons why I killed them, which isn't your business, because it has nothing to do with you guys. It was a family business and I finished it. If you want to see me behind a glass wall in a cell, go on, I'm not stopping you. Even if you would wanted to kill me I wouldn't do anything about it.", a long silence with a lot of staring began.
-Tony: "Alright we're doing a press conference where I will tell them that it was a plan of our newest avenger to get some secrets. For this she had to do such actions and she apologises for it. I promise you that this will never happen again-"
-Y/n: "No. don't promise them something you can not keep.", I interrupt him.
-Peter: "What do you mean?"
-Y/n: "Tell them I won't be a part of the avengers and that it was just a mission for me to get those secrets."
-Steve: "You know that this means that you will never be able to fight for Midgard, do you?"
-Y/n: "Rogers, no one will trust someone who fights with black magic, whose hair and eyes turn completely black too. I'm done being the weapon I got raised to be, but even if I would try to fight as you, there will always be a part of me that ends it all with chaos."
-Bruce: "I used to think like that too, Winter. But I know now that I can learn."
-Clint: "Everyone makes mistakes. Just because you have a special power it doesn't mean that you can't do mistakes too."
-Y/n: "So you really want me to fight on your side?", I didn't really get an answer.
-Tony: "Alright we stay with my version, but I'll let the part with the promise away, alright kid?"
-Y/n: "Don't you dare to ever call me 'kid' again and we're good."

Some laugh, some just smile but it made me kind of happy. They leave the room and I was finally able to breath again. Am I accepted now? I don't know but I do hope to find that out soon. I look to Loki again but I got thrown out of my mind again because someone came inside.

-Nurse: "Oh I'm very sorry, I thought everyone left.", she apologised as soon as she saw me.
-Y/n: "It's alright. May I ask what you are doing here?"
-Nurse: "I'm giving Mr. Laufeyson his, well, meal", she held a bag with a light brown liquid in her hands.
-Y/n: "Is it possible that I do that? Would you show me how?"
-Nurse: "Of course, Ms. uh..."
-Y/n: "Agent Winter."

She showed me how to connect the bag with his veinous catheter but she had to do the work with the machine that controls everything. As she did that I sat down again and watched her.

-Nurse: "I don't want to be rude Ms- Agent Winter, but the doctors don't think that Mr. Laufeyson will awake any time soon. You can take some rest if you want to and I'll get you when he wakes up."
-Y/n: "No it's alright, I'm staying."

She smiled out of courtesy and left the room. Is it just one of his illusions again or is it really him? That's a question that just came into my mind. He is the god of mischief, I'm sure he would do stuff like this especially because it wouldn't be the first time.