Forbidden Love [Loki x reader] (Part 1)

Chapter 37 - guilty

— your POV —

One week did pass since what happened with Steve. I'm feeling bad because I don't think that he knows that I don't feel anything for him and that I just did it to have some fun. It's easier to do it with Loki because I know that he has no feelings for me too, but I think that it's different with Steve.

I'm avoiding him as best as possible and go on such ridiculous missions which are even boring for the normal police. Tony is by the way still freaking out about "another wave", that's how he calls it, coming to Earth, even though we would fight them with no effort at all.

There were no big missions but they told me to not use my powers that often, that way I would learn how to "control" them better. I don't think that it helps me because lately I'm feeling a bit weird and every time I use my powers it feels like I can't stop it. Maybe it's because I haven't used them that often.

Loki is doing way better and he is on mischief things again. Thor and Natasha are already annoyed by him but I like having him around. He makes this place feel more like a home because I know that he also was never really accepted. The avengers still don't let him go on missions, just on some little ones. We're mostly doing them together, but we're watched by them at all time when we're on our own. It kinda sucks but what should we do about it?

-Peter: "Hey Y/n!", he says as he sees me sitting on the roof again.
-Y/n: "Hey Peter, how was school?", I'm not really interested in it but I learned that midgardians like to talk about their problems.
-Peter: "I know that you don't really want to know that.", I'm smiling because he actually got something right.
-Y/n: "You got me.", Peter sits down beside me.
-Peter: "You're avoiding everyone, don't you?"
-Y/n: "What makes you think that?", I try to act surprised but I'm sure it's very obvious that I try to avoid them.
-Peter: "You're sitting here and if not then you're on a mission or in your room."
-Y/n: "Alright Sherlock Holmes."
-Peter: "Why are you doing this?"
-Y/n: "That's who I am Peter.", I lie to him. I can't tell him that I fucked with Steve and feel guilty about it, he's way too young.
-Peter: "I should tell you that Mr Stark is having a party tonight and he would like to see you there."
-Y/n: "Another one? Why this time? What happened?"
-Peter: "He said that he wants to celebrate that there were no attacks in the past weeks."
-Y/n: "I guess he really likes party's."
-Pepper: "You should've met him before he became iron man.", said a woman standing in a tight, black dress behind me and Peter.
-Peter: "Y/n, this is Pepper.", he stood up and walk to her.
-Pepper: "Hi, I'm the Woman on Tony's side if you know what I mean."
-Y/n: "Yes I do. I've heard about you, not much but yeah he mentioned you.", she let out a little laughter and comes towards me.
-Pepper: "I really hope that you're going to be at the party."
-Y/n: "Why should I?", I didn't think that she would do this but she sits beside me and Peter also comes closer.
-Pepper: "You're a part of the Avengers if I'm correctly. See it as a duty if you have to, but it'll mean a lot everyone."
-Y/n: "...Alright.", I said after I sighed.

Pepper smiles at me, stands up and leaves with Peter. I'm wondering why she sat down when she planned to leave in the next second, but it's not my dress that is ruined now so I don't really care. After some time of thinking what I just agreed to and regretting a little bit I stand up and go to the "living room" for the first time since what happened with Steve.

As I enter the room everyone who was inside is looking at me. Steve and Loki included. I like seeing Loki with the others, that's everything he secretly wished for himself for years.

-Steve: "Can we talk?", he asked me after coming towards me and with a silent voice so that not everyone could hear us.
-Y/n: "I don't have a reason why we should talk.", I'm walking past him.
-Tony: "Have you already heard about the party?", he asked after a while.
-Y/n: "Yes I did, when will it start?"
-Tony: "About 9pm. I hope you're there."
-Y/n: "Expect me at 10.", he smiled at me.
-Tony: "Alright."
-Y/n: "Do you have any mission today?", I ask because I really want to leave this place.
-Tony: "Nothing for you."
-Y/n: "Come on!", I said annoyed.
-Tony: "You've done enough this week, get a day off."
-Y/n: "Fine.", I rolled my eyes.
-Natasha: "We could do something together."
-Y/n: "Sorry, I've got plans.", with those words I leave the room.

I'm leaving the headquarters and fly with my powers to the city. New York I think it's called. That's what I like about other planets: just the planets have names and there are no countries or shit like that. It's easy to remember.

The streets are full of people. Some are in a hurry, others cry. Then there are some women who look like they are leaving after some bed-action and a lot of business people. The buildings are really high. I'm always seeing them from above so I've never actually realised how high they actually are. It starts raining and of course I don't have an umbrella with me.

I'm walking down the streets, observing a lot of people, when a car drives by and stops a few steps in front of me. As the window goes down I see Steve sitting inside.

-Steve: "You shouldn't walk in the rain. Get in."
-Y/n: "No thanks."

He pulls the window back up and drives away. Thank goodness. I just start walking again, minding my own business. I can't believe it was that easy to make him leave.

-Steve: "On your left.", he sprints next to me.
-Y/n: "Did you put a gps inside of me?"
-Steve: "No, but I noticed that you like walking around here."
-Y/n: "Steve, what do you want?"
-Steve: "Let's talk."