Forbidden Love [Loki x reader] (Part 1)

Chapter 33 - silent

— your POV —

The sun had come out at last, and all those years in darkness—
—those secrets—
were over.

I'm still sitting beside Loki and reading him his book. It's in the middle of the night, everything is silent except for the device that keeps feeding Loki. It calms me down not being in all that trouble. No wonder I like the night more than the day. Everyone is asleep and you finally have more time for yourself. Night feels like the time has stoppen just for a short moment, but this moment stays frozen until you let it go.

It's absurdly sentimental. The aches that you describe with such earnestness... the pain, the loss. But you have not lived at all.

I got cold after a while. I stand up and take the blanket that the nurse laid on the couch, just to sit back on the chair and cover myself with it. I'm looking at the ceiling, thinking of what happens after death, what happens to them.

-Loki: "Are you alright?", I immediately look at him with a growing smile as I see that I haven't just imagined his voice.
-Y/n: "You are the one that need to be fed with a machine and you're asking me if I'm alright?"
-Loki: "You're wearing sweatpants and something white. I had to make sure.", I had to laugh and shake my head at the same time.
-Y/n: "You're an idiot."
-Loki: "You're welcome, again if I have to remind you."
-Y/n: "You should be happy that you're laying in that bed right now."
-Loki: "You're reading good."
-Y/n: "Well, you will never hear it again."
-Loki: "I can hope, can't I?"
-Y/n: "You should rest.", I stay up and throw the blanket back onto the couch.
-Loki: "Before you go. I'm usually not the person that would ask something like that, but could you change the pillow?"
-Y/n: "Just because you saved me."

I have to help him to get up and I know that he is in pain. He leans against my body to make it less hurting. I hurry up to shake the pillow and to lay it back. While I lay him back on the bed he suddenly kissed my neck. I looked him in his blue eyes and he had to smile. I don't know what happened to me but I gave him a kiss on his cheek and left the room.

Instead of going to my dorm I go on the roof where I see Parker sitting.

-Y/n: "Would you mind if I kept you company?", he looked at me.
-Peter: "No not at all."
-Y/n: "Shouldn't you be sleeping?", I ask as I sit down.
-Peter: "It's so loud in there, in needed a moment of silence."
-Y/n: "I know this feeling. I often come here to think about something too. What about you? Are you thinking about something?"
-Peter: "Mr. Stark said I should keep my distance from you.", I had to let out a laughter.
-Y/n: "He's probably right."
-Peter: "Beside for the fact that you killed your siblings, I think that you're cool."
-Y/n: "You have no idea what I did before you met me."
-Peter: "Tell me then."
-Y/n: "It's-"
-Peter: "None of my business. Mr Stark told me you would say that."
-Y/n: "Then why did you ask?"
-Peter: "I wanted to see if he was right. I want to make an own picture of a person."
-Y/n: "You should be careful about that."
-Peter: "Do you like Mr. Loki?"
-Y/n: "What? Why do you think that?", I had to laugh at that thought.
-Peter: "I mean it's obvious. You stayed with him the whole time and said that you can't leave him."
-Y/n: "Oh no no no. This is another story and does not mean that we like each other."
-Peter: "I'm sure he likes you. Why else should he protect you and almost die."
-Y/n: "because he is not as bad as everyone thinks he is."
-Peter: "He clearly isn't as bad as Mr Stark said he is."

I didn't say anything anymore and both of us stared at the landscape. It's nice sitting here with someone and not being alone, but still to enjoy the silence of the night.

-Peter: "I'm going to bed. Good Night Ms. Winter.", he stands up.
-Y/n: "Call me Y/n and good night Peter."

I smiled at him, he smiled back said 'okay' and left. Now I'm sitting here alone again. Is this kid right and Loki likes me? No this would be hilarious. I hear steps from behind.

-Y/n: "Have you forgotten something Peter?"

I didn't get an answer so I turned my eyes black and was ready to fight. I quickly jump up and wanted to attack but as I turned around I saw Loki standing there. I turned back and run towards him to help.

-Y/n: "You scared the hell out of me!"
-Loki: "Shh you'll wake up everyone else."
-Y/n: "You shouldn't even be here. You should stay in your bed and rest."
-Loki: "If you believe me or not, It got boring.", I helped him to sit down and sat beside him.
-Y/n: "And you thought that it's a good idea to walk around while everyone is sleeping. Have you even thought about that no one could've helped you if you fell down and that your scar could rip open and that you could die because of that?", I was angry at him.
-Loki: "I won't do it again."
-Y/n: "Yes I know because when I brought you back to your bed I will tie you onto the bed and then you can't get up anytime soon. What in the hell did you even want to do up here?"
-Loki: "I hoped to see you."
-Y/n: "Why's that?", I said still angry.
-Loki: "I wanted to ask why you stayed."
-Y/n: "I feel guilty about everything I've done to you. If you wouldn't have made it I would've blamed it on myself."
-Loki: "You just tried to do the right thing I assume and to archive that you have to take some risks."
-Y/n: "I guess. Can you believe that I am one of them now, or tomorrow when Stark had his press conference?"
-Loki: "Now you can wipe out all the red in your life."
-Y/n: "I don't live long enough to do that, but maybe half of it."

After a while I helped him to get back inside his room. I connected him to the device again, what he removed, and sat down on the couch. I also covered myself with the blanket.

-Y/n: "I like this book.", I hold the book, from which I was reading to him, in the air.
-Loki: "I know, I've heard you reading it."
-Y/n: "You should sleep now."
-Loki: "Then why are you still here?"
-Y/n: "To make sure that you're not walking around again."
-Loki: "Alright, alright."

I'm starting to read again but this time just for myself. I can't tell if Loki is watching me or not but after a while I don't care about it anymore because of the book. I don't know how long I've sat there and said ‚just one more chapter' to myself but I'm sure it was very often.