♚KAWAIIYAMA♚ (Kageyama Tobio Oneshots)

∅ꨄ︎𝔻𝕒𝕚𝕂𝕒𝕘𝕖ꨄ︎☮︎𝙴𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑☮︎

⇨Daichi X Kageyama⇦
ⓗⓐⓘⓚⓨⓤⓤ

Growing up Kageyama always thought he was somewhat different. All the kids around him just seem to blend in together, while him on the other can't do the same. He wasn't able to make eye contact properly, teriffied to see them staring at him. Thinking that they're judging him.

He didn't know how to Converse with others, everytime he tried. It'll always come out as a Blunt and mean sounding statement. He didn't know what he was doing wrong. Little by little, he observed those around him to see just what they have that he didn't.

Then he found it, he just needed to act like them right? That's what he thought at first and so he picked up every slight detail from others and copied it. He started having friends but because of that he felt his ever first betrayal.

He was called by a teacher to help with something, leaving his so called friends behind in the classroom. He was sent back earlier then expected, as soon as he was about to open the door he heard voices, sound annoyed and frustrated. "What a stuck up brat he is. Isn't he? " he heard one of his friends say. "He thinks he's better than anyone" the other friend continued, making his voice sounding annoying and whiny which made the class laugh. "To add that, the teachers ADORE him." The girl then scoffed. "What a teachers' pet" People kept calling him that, not knowing he was listening but isn't it better than being alone?

He didn't mind it, he didn't mind that they were talking behind his back. Starting baseless rumours that everyone believes just because his close friends were the one who spread it. He couldn't care less. Atleast he had friends right? That's enough for him right? Yeah.... It's enough.

He told himself that everyday, it was enough. As long as he had people that'll stay beside him even if it was fake, it was enough for him. Even if the one they liked wasn't the real him, that's enough for him. He shouldn't be greedy right? It was enough.

But was he enough?

Apparently he wasn't. The moment he failed something his friends would start making fun of him. He just laughed with them even though it's clear that they're laughing at him, not with him. He didn't mind. It's not like they were wrong. He believed that he had to be perfect, not making any mistakes for them to accept him. So he started trying hard. Studying so much every night that leads him to getting no sleeo and nose bleeds.

But in the end it was still not enough

He tried again, he had perfect scores in every exams. Though they showed they were happy for him and proud infront of him. Whenever he turns his back he'll hear them talking smack about him. He was even called cocky because of that. Just because he had perfect scores and grades people started thinking he was cocky.

So he stopped trying to have perfect scores and grades. Some people started to approach him again, but this time it was much worse. They point out every of his flaws like it was a disappointment he failed at something. It also started rumors that he actually cheated just because of that. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he should do.

When will I be enough?

The day he was so excited about finally came. The day he'll leave that school, he started thinking of the things he should do once he starts highschool.

It was graduation day and he saw some of his senpai from the volleyball team. They weren't that bad because to them it was a s though he didn't exist. Basing on that, he would actually much prefer that than being the center of attention by everyone. Silently watching his so called friends snickering in the background while looking at him. He noticed, 'ahh, so I was always alone..'

"Excuse me. I think you dropped this. " someone approached and called out to him. Turning around, he saw a senpai he never saw before. Mustering up the courage to do the smile he always give people. He smiled at the man and thanked him, but the problem was. The man frowned at that.

"Please stop that. It doesn't suit you" he said bluntly, it hit Kageyama in the wrong way. He thought the man was implying he shouldn't smile for it doesn't look nice at him. He started overthinking things, regretting that he smiled at the man. Regretting that he ever even smiled. The man noticed his slight discomfort and started panicking.

"No! Uhh! I didn't mean it in that way! I'm sorry! " he apologized again and again. Kageyama finally coming to his senses stared at the man sadly. "I- I see" he stuttered out even if he didn't get what the man was implying. The man sighed in relief. "Sorry, it's just. I uhh. How should I explain this, That smile doest look good on you? " the man stated questionly, he didn't know ho he should word it out and by the looks of it. He made a very wrong move as he noticed Kageyama deflate and was unable to look at him anymore. He started fidgetting and playing with the hem of his sleeve.

"Shoot! I messed up again. " he cursed to himself, he sughed and calmed his nerves. "The smile doesn't suit you because it doesn't look genuine. It looks forced, those smile never looks good on people. They tend to use those as a shield to protect themselves, I had some similar situations like that. " he laughed awkwardly and rubbed his nape. Kageyama getting slightly interested looked up at him.

The man noticing this sighed and lead them to a much more peaceful place to talk to but is still near a lot of people. "Let's see. Why do you smile? " the man asked. Kageyama hesitated for a moment. "To be nice? " he was unsure of his answer but he always thought that's why people smile. Those around him would alway give him a smile to be polite but when he turns his back. They're stabbing him in the back.

"I do agree with your answer but, that's not the only reason people smile. I personally think that people should smile whenever they feel genuine, like I said before a smile can hid many different things that's why it's dangerous but that doesn't mean it isnt obvious to others who had used it countless of times before." He stood up straight and faced Kageyama in a scolding manner. He leaned down a little to look him in the eye. It made Kageyama shift in place, nit used to such a straight-forward gaze.

"I think a genuine smile would suit you more." The man then gave him a warm smile, it made Kageyama feel all bubbly inside. He never had such a smile given to him before.

"Well see you next time! " the man bid farewell. Kageyama then immediately snapped out of it and went after the man. "E-excuse me! What's your name?! " he shouted. The man looked back at him,

"Sawamura! Sawamura Daichi! " he shouted and waved back with a smile before catching up to his friends who had been waiting for him. Kageyama reminded himself of the name and placed his clenched fist towards his heart.

He then remembered Sawamura's words. 'Genuine huh? ' he then smiled warmly to himself, keeping the word of a senpai he just met to heart.

'Maybe someday, I'll actually be enough. Once I find who I actually am and not who Im trying to be.' he thought to himself.

What really makes a person enough is to be satisfied for who they are. There is no such thing as perfection, we are already imperfectly perfect why change to meet others expectations when you can change just because you want too. We don't need to satisfy others, it isn't their life that we are living. They are merely spectators of our own movie. Critiquing us to feel superior. The one where we get to tell OUR story, not theirs.