PORN-CATION || J.JK ✓

Chapter 18- Hurts.

I sighed looking at the market values and shares, sometimes I just want to escape everything. I want the reality to be a lie and everything to just stop for me to have my own moment where I'm not scared of life but the truth is that you can't spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around to try and avert disaster. It won't work. You'll just end up missing the life you have but still no one could suspect the intricate mysteries of my heart.

I drag my feets to the counter as my phone rings with familiar notifications about the work updates. I don't know what I would have done if Y/n didn't bother to help, I basically cancelled all my contacts with Taehyung at this point and Yoongi just happens to be back in town at the moment and I'm sure he has many questions especially after all the drama that has unravelled.

Suddenly the door bell rings snapping me out of my thoughts, sighing as I remembered that I wanted to be alone today so all the maids were dismissed allows me to open the door to myself today. I place the old coffee mug down the marble sink before walking towards the door with curiosity simmering inside of me since I didn't allow anyone to visit me today.

I carelessly open the door knowing that I'll be pissed off on anyone who's standing on the other side but then my whole world stops as my eyes land om the most beautiful creature that happens to be my past. Twin threads ran through her: fear and anger.

There's no doubt that he's sculptured with God's hand itself, all the patience and beauty pouring down to each and every little feature about him. His smile was once my whole world, the only thing I needed to be happy.

I remember telling him that I wanted our kids to have the same world wide smile as him back in one of those warm autumns we had within each others embrace. A single moment with him was not a single moment at all, but rather an infinite number of different moments.

His eyes made me feel beautiful because every time I looked into them, all I could see was me. His soft lips that moulded against mine like missing pieces of puzzle, his strong arms that once held me strong and his soft finger tips that traced down those never ending circles on my naked frame after every night we made love.

Kim Seokjin was my life, keyword: was.

A lot of emotions gushed through me, a part of me wanted to kiss the life out of him and the other wanted to cry until I lost my soul in his embrace. "What are you doing here?" I composed myself while questioning him with the coldest tone I could gather as he seemed taken back for a whole moment. His gaze softened as soon as his eyes met mine, please don't make me weak again Jin.

"I-i" he bite his lips as a shaky breath left his mouth and unexpectedly his eyes watered with emotions. If there's one thing I've never seen Jin doing was him crying, I've never seen him breaking down or even shedding tears over anything.

"You?" I questioned again trying my best to ignore his fragile state, after all it's been exactly four years, fifty nine days since I last saw him this close. Even after all that time, I failed to push him out of my heart and ended up with the conclusion that I could actually do nothing about these feelings I've once grown towards this beautiful man.

"Hurts" he breathed out as my breath hitched a little after hearing his voice physically especially after such a long time when once his voice was the only thing that used to ring around my mind all day long.

"This hurts" he pointed towards his chest, to be more specific towards the beating piece of musculature within his chest that was solely responsible for his existence. "Seokjin look" before I could speak any further, I found myself freezing up at the sight of his now blood shot eyes raising a thunder of concern inside of me.

"Four years, fifty nine days has passed without you. I've never touched a single person in a way I touched you after you left me, I've never spent a moment thinking about anyone else except you, I've died every single second thinking about you and the thought of me without you killed me each and every sec" he spoke without stuttering down as I looked at him with disbelief.