PORN-CATION || J.JK ✓

Chapter 45: Life goes on.

"Mr Min Yoongi unfortunately passed away because of heart attack" this sentence changed my whole life upside down as I stood their still. Dressed up in black I stared down at the smiling picture of Min Yoongi as he stood still in the colorful portrait or his but his eyes spoke more than I thought or would have expected them to do so.

Everyone stood their with the head down low to pay the last bits of respect of this unspoken legend. He fought with the whole world and in the end he found peace finally, he doesn't have to suffer anymore through those empty pale mental institution walls because he deserves much better than that. He deserves a much better life, one which treats him fair and understands his worth.

With a shaky breath I stood up to walk towards the center as I was his only family. His last words were my name and I know he stands here with me, smiling at me this time instead of hiding his smile. Oh how much would I miss teasing him all day long, who was I supposed to lean on to now?

I could see Taehyung standing thier with red eyes filled with guilt because he never cherished Yoongi like he deserved to be while Jimin simply supported him. Namjoon stood their in the same situation as me, he was his brother from another mother who provided him with the warmest hug despite of claiming himself as the coldest being. Seokjin and Jungkook stood side by side by the corners, they weren't as close but they still seemed upset enough for the whole situation.

I look at his picture once again before looking at multiple unknown and known faces. A tear rolls down my face as I try my best to smile just like how Yoongi would want me to. "Three years ago I sat down crying and upset over little things, not knowing what to do but then Yoongi walks in with a stupid tangerine. He questions me what's wrong and I tell him that Yoongi I don't want to live anymore, that it's hard to continue living when there's so much controlling your life all the time" I wipe the tears as the exact moments flash in front of my eyes hitting my heart like a hammer.

"He listened to me before pulling me down in a hug and saying are you stupid? You get to live once. You'll never know what would happen tomorrow, this is life. It's meant to make you cry as much as it's meant to make you smile. What's the point of living if you don't face any difficulties?

With difficulties you face emotions which is something we got gifted by the Lord up thier and if we give up now then we certainly won't have a story to tell our kids and then our grandkids so they could tell it to thier kids and then thier grandkids" Namjoon breaks down immediately into painful sobs

as I couldn't just control myself at the sight and let the tears stream down but before Jungkook could step closer to comfort me I stop him from the variable distance because just cause I'm tearing up doesn't mean I need to be comforted. It's a part of my emotions and if I'm allowed to smile at Yoongi's beautiful memories then I'm allowed to break down because of losing him too. I still could never get myself to believe that someone as strong as Min Yoongi would take his own life but then the reality just doesn't accept our visions like we want it to.

"M-my yoonkitty, the brightest star in the whole universe. My smile has more of you than me, my strength has more of you than my courage because you were my strength and smile through the darkest times and now you've left me. I know you haven't left me mentally because I can see you Yoongi, I can see you standing right beside me trying your best to hide the stupid but the most adorable smile while wearing those stupid chains.

I can feel your warm pecks over my cheek whenever I cry because I know that you'll always stick by my side through the worse, that you'll always be the elder brother I'll look up to when I'm the happiest and at my breakup points because that's when I'm the real me" shoving my hands inside the pockets of the black coat that rested over my shoulders peacefully I pulled out one of his favourite chains that I gifted him, the first ever gift that I gave him. He said he hated it but then I'd always see it hidden under his shirts, such a good liar.