PORN-CATION || J.JK ✓

Chapter 29- Eunoia.

I stared at her scared not knowing what her reaction would be, I'm sure she would never love a monster like me because she can clearly do much better than me and she was going to see that sooner or later. But again that being mentioned there was this another side of me just blindly hoping that my plan works out and that she falls for it. Either way everyone thinks the same, Y/n can always get herself a perfect family and a husband who wouldn't have some sort of dark past or dominating obsession unlike me because at the end I'm just a mistake who wasn't supposed to have happened in the first place if my mother left a little bit earlier than she already did.

Y/n walks towards me with this unreadable expression plastered over her face and from the corner of my eye I could see Taehyung smirking at me as if he's won something. What makes him think that because even if Y/n hates me now she will never be his and that's enough for me to roll my eyes off at his face. If it wasn't for him, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. I should have eliminated him way before this even started knowing that he's mentally unstable in my opinion and maybe he's the one obsessed with not just Y/n but our relationship as well. Jeon Ara who started this unknown fire is standing right beside him with a surprisingly scared expression because maybe she believes that if Y/n leaves me then I'll end her god damned existence meanwhile Yoongi stood right around the corner with a worried expression plastered all over his face as he himself can't predict what's about to happen next.

She stands right in front of me and all I can see in her eyes is the reflection of me as if it's only her and me in this room and not all these people I never wished to see. All I hope is that she doesn't hate me because it's fine if she doesn't want to see me ever again at-least I'll still have a chance to change for the betterment of us because for her I'm willing to improve myself into a better person knowing the fact that I can never bring back the lives I've taken but hate takes time to be outweighed which could even be impossible sometimes. Suddenly I snap back my head feeling the stinging sensation tickling over my left cheek, eyes watering with guilt and fear that was soon becoming the reality. She slapped me and now I could see her eyes softened the very moment my watering eyes meets hers. As if she's not guilty about what she did but at the same time she wants to have a part in the pain I'm suffering, she can't see me suffering alone even in a situation like this.

Everyone is shocked for sure clearly by the high pitched gasps in the background, I didn't know what to say because all I could do now is to look down and wait for her next move. I know she'll leave me, I know she won't believe me and Seokjin was of no use since the very beginning like always. My past once again managed to mess everything up for me. But still even after everything I'm trying to convince my heart that it's a nightmare and that Y/n would not leave me alone knowing the fact that I just can't live without her. Maybe now I'll wake up and find her by my side cuddling me tight, safe within my embrace when none of this happened.

I need her in my life because it's just too late for me to move on, my love has now turned into an obsession that I can't ever get over from unfortunately because if I could I'd have done that a long time ago. "You moron! I hate you so much" she raises her voice a little for the first time right at my face as her hands slaps down against my chest, it doesn't hurt but the pain my heart is stringed with was much worse. I have lost her haven't I? Taehyung won this war already didn't he? guess my plan didn't really work and now I lost the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me. The only thing that picked me up and changed me into a better being, the only thing that pulled me out of the sudden darkness that engulfed the corners of my heart previously.

She grabs my collar tight shocking a part of me with the sudden strength she radiated while making me look right into her eyes and to my suprise it's watering with pain instead of the anger or disgust like I expected in the first place but still I refuse to raise any kind of hope to not be further disappointed and hurt. What's wrong y/n? At least tell me what is your intention because I'm dying to know if you hate me or not because even if I hope the answer is no, I don't know if you'll believe someone like me. No one has ever believed me and in this situation I know that I'm the one to blame but if a lie can save our relationship from falling apart then so be it. "Don't you ever do this to yourself you get me? do you even know what would have I done if something happened to you Jeon Jungkook? h-how dare you make me fall in love with you and then just snatch yourself away from me huh?" her voice cracked a little as my eyes widened in process to observe whatever is happening but then it suddenly clicks to my mind as the feeling of relief showers over my senses.