Azlan's Heart

Special Chapter

Lezzana Kate Montreal

“I saw her! I saw her!” I shouted gleefully. Tumalon-talon ako dahil sa sayang naramdaman.

“Weh? Why you didn’t hila-hila me with you?! Is she beautiful?! Lezzana! Answer me!” Niyugyog ni Jade ang braso ko. Pakiramdam ko ay gusto niya itong baliin. Kaya para maging patas ang laban ay pilit ko ring hinawakan ang braso niya at niyugyog siya ng malakas, mas malakas pa sa ginawa niyang pagyugyog sa akin. And with that, she cried.

“Y-You! Ang sama-sama mo talaga! Uwahh, Kuya Jacob! Lez away-away me!” Tumakbo ito papunta sa kuya niya kaya binelatan ko siya para inisin lalo. Well, I’m sweet and also pretty. 

Lumapit na lang ako sa pwesto ni Kuya Azlan. He’s sleeping again, I bet that it’s because of his girls. Kuya Azlan is not a playboy but he keeps on changing his girlfriend, because he said that he haven’t found his the one.

“Nakita mo ba talaga siya? Is she beautiful, Lezzana?” tanong ng pinakamahinhin kong pinsan. Kung gaano kalakas ang boses ni Jade kanina habang nagtatanong ay siya namang kabaliktaran niya. Buti na lang at mabait siya kaya wala akong balak na awayin siya. At saka, I’m friendly.

“Yes, she’s very beautiful. She’s mestiza in a pale way. She have straight black long hair and a beautiful alluring eyes. And I saw her smiled a bit at Mommy! She looks like a goddess! Believe me!” Nag-cross my heart pa ako. I chuckled. Allana smiled because of that.

Sa fourteen years kong pagkakabuhay sa mundo ay ngayon ko lang nakita ang isa sa pinsan namin. She’s Ayshia Peony. Such a pretty name, right? As well as the owner of it. Ngayon ko lang siya nakita dahil nandito kami ngayon para sa anniversary ng Mommy at Daddy ni Kuya Azlan. They’d been married for twenty two years already. Sikat talaga sa pamilya namin ang mga happy ever afters, and I had heard from Tito Peter and Tita Daisy that Ayshia loves happy endings.

Gusto ko nga sana siyang lapitan pero mamaya raw muna. Kailangan niya raw kasing magpahinga dahil napagod siya sa byahe. Maybe you are all confused why she’s like that. Well, my cousin is diagnosed with congenital heart disease.

I’m sad, but Mommy said that everything has its own reason. And I believed in her.

“I hope that someday, both of us well be friends,” I uttered dreamily.

“That will happen. Just believe that it will, Lez.” Napalingon ako sa nagsalita bago napahagikhik. Kuya Azlan is now widely awake. Ang mga itim niyang mata ay sobrang ganda, at pakiramdam ko ay iyon ang nagiging reason why maraming naghahabol sa kaniya na girls. Well, my Kuya Azlan is very handsome.

“Sa tingin mo, kuya? Tatanggapin niya kaya ako bilang friend niya?” tanong ko. Ngumuso ako. Tumango siya sa akin at tumayo na. He ruffled my hair.

“She’ll be honored to have you as her friend.” Kuya Azlan smile genuinely.

And it was the last time I saw that.

“Woah, kalma haha. Masyado kang magugulatin,” natatawang sabi ko pero kapansin-pansin ang poker face niyang mukha. Ni hindi man lang siya tumawa. That was awkward.

I stared at her face, and noticed her changes. Ang ganda-ganda na niya lalo. Pakiramdam ko ay magmumukha akong basura kapag nakatabi ko siya. I thought that it was easy to tame her but I was wrong.

She changed a lot. That’s all I can say.

After what happened three years ago, their family flew to States. At ang totoo ay hindi kami makadalaw dahil pinagbawalan kami nina Tita Daisy at Tito Peter. They said that it’s better for her to not know about our existence. At ngayon ko lang nalaman kung bakit.

She lost her memories.

Sa pagkakaalam ko ay dahil iyon sa gamot, at sa kagustuhan na rin ng utak niya na itago ang nakaraan. She got traumatized. Naaawa ako sa pinsan ko, at ngayon na kasama ko na siya sa iisang eskwelahan lang ay gusto kong mapalapit sa kaniya. It’s my chance now, I want us to be friends.

But it was never easy. Ang tigas-tigas ng harang niya. She made a wall of bricks that even the wolf’s blow can’t ruined it.

I had some other friends. I meet a bubbly girl named Aizelle Chloe. Kahit na alam kong ayaw niyang kinukulit siya ay pasimple ko pa ring hinahayaan na kausapin siya ni AC. I meet three guys because of a school project, and the six of us became a team.

I thought that being friends with her is already impossible to happen, but God made it possible. He heard my silent prayers.

“All of you are my friends. I gave unique nickname to my friends and I think its not that bad.” Kung hindi lang siguro ako magmumukhang tanga ay iiyak na ako. It was the best thing that happened in my life. At the age of eighteen, I finally became friends with her.

Masaya naman kami. Masayang-masaya. But life always has to ruined that.

Without us noticing it, we lost each other’s grip. AC left. The once happy group turned lifeless. And the worse part?

I noticed something.

It shouldn’t bother me. It should be nothing. Pero noon pa lang na nakita kong hinatid siya ni Kuya Azlan at itinanggi niya iyon kay AC ay may napansin na ako. Ibang-iba siya kapag nandiyaan si Kuya Azlan. She seems more livelier.

Sa bawat ngiti at tawa niya kapag ang pinsan namin ang kasama niya ay mas lalong umiigting ang paghihinala ko. Akala ko ay maglalaho ang paghihinala ko. Akala ko ay may magbabago. Pero nagkamali ako.

At her eighteenth birthday, I saw the last thing that I wanted to see.

And I heard the most ridiculous thing I never wanted to hear. Kaya pala ayaw niyang malaman nito na magpinsan kami. Kaya pala ganoon na lang lagi ang pagtalim ng mga mata niya kapag may nakatingin kay Ayshia. Kaya pala bumalik ang dating sigla niya noon. It was three years ago when I last saw him smile genuinely, not until Ayshia came into the picture.

“I’m in love with her. Fuck, I’m in love with my damn cousin.” May katawagan si Kuya Azlan. Pagabi na no’n at iinom lang sana ako ng tubig, but I heard him.

“K-Kuya...” I uttered. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko nang lingunin niya ako.

“Lezzana. Bakit gising ka pa?” Hindi ko siya sinagot at sa mabibilis kong hakbang ay agad akong nakalapit sa kaniya. Dumapo ang kamay ko sa pisngi niya. I glared at him.

“Who are you in love with? Answer me, Kuya Azlan! Sino ang mahal mo?!” pasigaw kong tanong. Nanginginig ang buong kalamnan ko. Agarang nanggilid ang luha sa mga mata ko habang hinihintay ang sagot niya. May hinala ako p-pero... pero bakit s-siya pa?

“I’m in love with her, Lez. Hindi ko na kayang tumakbo pa,” he uttered lowly.

“Who?”

“Ayshia---”

“Kuya!” naghikatatakutan kong putol sa iba pa niyang sasabihin.

“Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo?! She’s our cousin!” I sternly shouted with my trembling lips. What the hell is wrong with him? Ano ang problema ng mundo?

“I know... I know, but my heart wants her...” Napailing-iling ako. Nababaliw na siya. Bakit niya minahal si Ayshia? Why her? Ito ba ang sinasabi niya noon na the one? This is crazy!

“Alisin mo ang nararamdaman mo para sa kaniya. Or I will tell everyone about this. Kasalanan ‘to, Kuya Azlan. Your love for her is forbidden.” It was never right. I don’t want to tolerate that. Pero hindi siya nakinig sa akin.

And so, I attacked the weak one. Kung hindi ko mapipigilan si Kuya Azlan ay si Ayshia ang tatablahin ko. Siya ang tutulak sa kaniya palayo.

“Kuya Azlan is our cousin. First degree cousin.”

It’s the only thing that I can think of. Because I thought that it can do something. But things... things had gotten into worse.

___