are we meant to be?

part 23

recap:

is he seriously mad??

.............

you: i'll talk to you tomorrow

he literally doesn't say anything. i go to his closet grabbing a hoodie and sliding it over my head before i walk out the door. what the fuck? now we're just arguing over literally nothing? ugh. i leave and go home.

charli: hey-

i walk past her and go to my room. great. i'm pissed now too. i lay in bed for a long time just watching tv.

2 days later

i haven't spoken to josh since and it sucks. i hate not talking to him. charli has been busy doing idk what. bruce has been looking for houses in LA with jaden and mads and maybe josh too. so i'm bored and have no one to hangout with. sooo today i'm going to josh's because we need to talk about why the hell were arguing. i get ready and go downstairs.

you: going to josh's
derek: be careful
you: dad. he won't hurt me. i swear

he nods and i leave. i drive there and then sit in the car for a few minutes. finally, i decide to go knock. liv let's me in and i go to josh's room.

you: why are we fighting?
josh: i don't know what your talking about
you: you've gotta be kidding me.

he rolls his eyes.

you: what the fuck is wrong with you?
josh: you can't accept the fact that i wanna be a good boyfriend and stay here with you
you: and i wanna be a good girlfriend by telling you to go after what you want
josh: i want you
you: you already have me. you want LA

he stays quiet.

you: just go then. we can make long distance or some shit work
josh: i finally got you after 10 fucking years! i'm not gonna risk losing that.

he walks out of his room and i follow him.

you: you wanna go to LA!
josh: so?! i wanna stay here too!

we argue loudly as we go down the stairs and into the kitchen.

josh: carson i get how hard long distance shit can be!
we won't last that!
you: you don't think we could handle that?!
josh: no! because we can't! i literally need to be around you at all times!
you: then why don't we take a break?!
josh: hell no!
you: i don't want that either but if it's a way to get you to go!
josh: that will not make me go! what the fuck are you thinking?!

i turn and see his whole family sitting in the living room quietly staring at us. i mumble shit and walk towards the front door opening it.

josh: don't fucking walk away from me while i'm talking to you!

i keep walking out the door as he follows.

josh: what the hell?!
you: we just had that whole fucking argument in front of them!
josh: they don't give a damn shit!
you: well i do!
josh: let's just stop talking about all of this!
you: no because then shit will be awkward because we won't have talked about it!
josh: fine then let's talk about it!
you: can we stop yelling?!

he sighs and nods. after taking a minute to both calm down, we sit on his porch steps.

josh: listen. i do wanna go to LA. i think it would be fun. living with bryce jaden and mads.
you: then do it
josh: i'm not leaving you up here. i've been waiting for us to be like this all my life and now we're finally here. i am 100% not giving that up to move into some stupid house for a stupid app with my friends when i could be here cuddling with my amazing girlfriend.

i look at him. i can tell he truly doesn't wanna leave me.

you: j i love you and my feelings for you aren't gonna change anytime soon
josh: i know but-
you: i really want you to go. i know you want this.

he nods a little.

you: and if you really wanna go- then go. we can figure us out.

he sighs and i lean over messing up his hair.

you: just think of it. we could get to see eachother every month and it would be more special
josh; i- i just-
you: josh you should go. i want you to go

..............

soooooo......