are we meant to be?

part 48

charli and i go home. she goes to her room and i go to mine to facetime bryce.

bryce: hey 
you: hey
bryce: wassup
you: nothing. absolutely nothing.

he laughs at his bored i am.

you: what are you doing
bruce: playing video games with jo- sorry
you: you can say his name

josh looks at the camera and i kinda wanna cry. i haven't seen or heard him since we broke up.

josh: who is- oh- um... hey
you: i gotta go bryce

i hang up. maybe i'm still pretty mad. i get a shower and sing to calm myself.

a week later

charli keeps inviting lauren over which i don't mind because she's nice. she has really good style. she's amazingly funny and sweet.

you: hey
lauren: hey
you: where's charli?
lauren: changing. we're going to lunch. you coming?
you: ya

i grab my jacket off the chair and put it on as charli comes down. we just walk to lunch since it wasn't very far. we get there and sit down at a table n the back. this is where josh and i use to come everyday after going to the gym, when him and dixie were still dating. we sat at this exact table and right now it's kinda killing me.

charli: you ok?
you: ya i'm fine

i try to shake the thoughts and we order. i ordered mac n cheese and it finally came. i start eating and remember how josh would always steal most of mine.

you: i- i need some air

i stand up and walk outside sitting on a nearby bench. i take some deep breaths to calm myself. i feel a pair of arms around my shoulder making me jump a bit.

you: oh it's you

i'm relieved to see that it's lauren and not some weirdo.

lauren: what's wrong?
you: it's just- my ex boyfriend. before we were dating he was helping me be like confident in myself i guess and we would always come here. he would steal my food
lauren: i know how that feels. my ex girlfriend and i use to go to this one beach and sit in our favorite spot. i cant stand to go there now because it makes me upset.

hole up- did she say ex girlfriend?

you: ah.
lauren: i can tell by that shocked face of yours that you didn't know i'm bi?

she laughs and i'm awkward.

you: oh i'm sorry
lauren: don't be sorry it's all good *laughs* why don't i go get charli and we can go? that way you don't have to go back in there

she's so sweet. i nod and she goes in to get charli. then we all go back to the house and hangout. i got pretty close with lauren. she understands everything better than anyone. she's been through shit like i have. she had an eating disorder. she was adopted. we are really alike. the only person that knows me better is josh. but he doesn't UNDERSTAND me. she does.

..................