are we meant to be?

part 88

i ended up having jaden send me the music. i wanted to sing for josh because the last song i wrote i didn't let him hear it for a long time.

____________________________________

joshua❤️

carson
you wanna come over?

josh
i'm helping will with his
math homework. you can
come here if you want

carson
ok. i'll be there soon

josh
WAIT

carson
huh?

josh
have someone drive you
over

carson
i'm ok j

josh
please carson

carson
fine. i'll see ya in like 20
minutes

____________________________________

i put a sweatshirt on over my sports bra and switch my sweatpants to leggings. i then head to my moms room.

you: can you drive me to josh's?

none of them want me driving, so of course she just said yes. once she drops me off i go knock on the door.

michelle: hello carson

i hug her.

michelle: joshua is in wills room
you: thank you

i head to wills room. the door is cracked. if it were josh's room i would just go in but like idk. it's wills room so i knock.

will: come in

i go in.

you: hey will
will: hi carson!

i go over to josh and ruffle his hair.

josh: hey babe

i kiss his head like he always does to me. i sit there and help will finish his homework since josh didn't understand it. then josh and i go to his room.

josh: so what's up
you: i um i think i have a new song. jaden had some music written and i just came up with lyrics. we're gonna record the demo when we get back to LA and then hopefully release it with if you love me let me go
josh: that's great
you: and i wanna sing it for you.

he smiles and we sit on his bed. i pull up the music and then sing. once i'm done josh is smiling

josh: it's amazing cars. you have a beautiful voice

he gives me a quick kiss then hugs me. he goes and sits in his desk chair editing something for his youtube that he filmed last month. i lay in his bed waiting for him to be done.

josh: so how'd your therapy go?
you: eh it was ok.

he continues editing his video when his mother comes in.

michelle: liv will and i are leaving. you coming josh?
josh: n- no. i'm gonna stay here i guess.
you: do you have somewhere to go? i can leave-
josh: no it's ok

michelle nods and leaves. josh once again goes back to editing his video while i watch his tv.

you: where's your dad? i haven't seen him since we've been here

josh stops what he's doing and shuts his eyes for a second.

you: you ok?
josh: my dad- it's- he's he's in the hospital

i sit up and give him a concerned look.

you: is he ok?!
josh: he- he- um...

whatever it is, is really troubling josh.

josh: he- he has lung cancer

his voice cracks and my heart drops. i get up and go sit on his lap.

you: h- how is he doing?
josh: n- not good.

i know that lung cancer is the most dangerous type and this is really hurting him.

you: how long has he-
josh: a- a few months. b- but no one fucking told me until we got up here. w- we spent christmas with them and none of them fucking told me.

his eyes fill with tears.

you: you could've told me. i'm always here for you

he puts his head down when tears drop.

josh: you- you've been dealing with s- so much lately- i just couldn't
you: i feel terrible. i've been complaining and shut over my problems to you a- and you've been going through this

i pull his head into my chest.

josh: he- he doesn't have long t- to live carson  
you: i'm so sorry

he cries and cries for a long time. first he loses two of his bestfriends, then his girlfriend tries to kill herself, and now his dad is gonna die from cancer. poor josh.

.......................