ever since i got home weeks ago things suck. school sucks. i'm not doing too great. i've got three D's, three C's, and a B. so i'm failing about half my classes. i got my phone taken until i can get my grades up. it's stressful. do you know how hard it is not talking to bryce and josh?! that's stressful too. you wanna know what else is stressful?! josh's fans keep commenting that our relationship is "illegal" like wtf?! i'm almost 18! ughh. why is everything so annoying? it's all killing my anxiety too. i've had 4 anxiety attacks in the past week. i get pissed off at the smallest things because i barely sleep since i'm busy studying. i haven't talked to josh in a week and a half! ughhhhhh. the good thing is- me and charlis birthday is on thursday. (it's monday right now) meaning josh flies in with bryce and dixie tomorrow. i run into charlis room.
you: char char char
she's on facetime with chase.
you: please please please let me call josh on your phone charli: i'm talking with chase you: please! i won't take long! charli: fine but don't let mom and dad know you used it
she hangs up with chase and gives me her phone. i run into my room and facetime josh.
josh: hey- oh hey carson *smiles you: hi *smiles
just seeing his smile made my day a lot less horrible.
josh: what's up? you: ok so since your coming tomorrow. can you bring my fuzzy blanket up? i left it in LA last time. also- i'm grounded and can't go out til my birthday. can you pick up some condoms and birth control when you get to toronto??
he laughs at how much energy i have considering i'm tired as fuck.
josh: sure babe *laughs you: thank you. love you josh: love ya too
i hang up and go take charli her phone back. then i shower and go to sleep. when i wake up i'm in an amazingly good mood. better than i have been in a while. today i get to see bryce and josh. i get dressed and go downstairs to negotiate with my parents.
you: can i please please please be ungrounded today? bryce and- meredith: no carson. your grades are not any better. we said even if they don't get better, by your birthday you may be ungrounded. 2 more days you: but charlis gonna go meet with them today and i really wanna see them derek: you can wait two days. your not leaving this house yet you: what if they come here? meredith: carson jane do you wanna be grounded for another 2 weeks?
i go quiet.
meredith: that is what i thought
she goes back to eating and charli comes down.
charli: hey are they letting you go?
i glare at her because i'm back to my cranky mood.
charli: i'll take that as a no. i gotta go. i'll tell them you wanted to come
i just walk away. she gets to see them and i don't. fuck. i go to my room and since i have nothing better to do, i study. then for a bit i'm angry and i throw things at my wall. then i'm upset that i can't see them yet so i cry for a bit. i also lay in josh's clothes that i've kept and i watch the notebook. now i really just wanna see josh.
2 days later
i wake up and i'm in a wonderful mood. i shower and curl my hair. i'm trying to look good today.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
i think i look good. i go downstairs and i'm super jumpy and bubbly today.
derek: happy birthday
he tells me and charli
charli: thanks you: thanks dad. does anyone know when josh and bryce are cominggggg charli: soon like an hour *laughs
a bit later the doorbell rings and i run to it to find my bestfriend and my boyfriend.
you: HI!
i jump into josh's arms and hug him. i'm a literal child.
josh: happy birthday babe
he hugs me super tight and kisses my head while charli hugs bryce. then we switch.
bryce: happy birthday kiddo
they come in and dixie comes down. ya she got home 2 days ago. i was excited at first but then i was annoyed because i wanted to see j.
