are we meant to be?

part 50

charli wakes me up by shaking me.

you: whattttt
charli: get up
you: whyyyyy
charli: we've gotta leave

i get up. charli and i are going to LA. she wants to look for a place for the both of us down there that way we can be close to dixie and bryce.

...

you: i really need to stop wearing sweats here.

we are in our rental car driving to the hype house, where we're staying. we're gonna look at places tomorrow and possibly put offers in. then we'll go back to canada and if we get one of the places we like, then we'll move down here. charli thinks it will be fun because lauren permanently lives in LA she just visits her family in canada and florida. we get to the hype house and go in. my goal in LA is just to stay away from josh and chase. that's gonna be hard. chase lives at the hype house and josh lives at the sway house where i'll be a lot, due to bryce living there.

dixie: hey!!

her and addison come over hugging us, and chase hugs charli. then they lead us to our temporary rooms. i settle in and then lay down to think. i'm scared that at the sway house i'll see josh. i haven't said a word to him since the break up. he tried talking to me that one time on bryce's facetime but i couldn't take it. i don't know how it's gonna go if i see him in person. then lauren comes into my mind. i'm not completely sure- but i think m- maybe i like her. i've never liked a girl before but lauren just makes me feel good and different. i know she's bi and i start to think that maybe i am too. i obviously still like men because- josh and stuff. but i think i may be into girls now too. idk. it's all confusing me and fucking with my mind. finally i end up taking a nap. when i wake up i go downstairs and chase is in the kitchen.

chase: hey...
you: hey

i don't wanna talk to him but i'm not gonna be a bitch about it. i grab a glass of water and then go outback to sit by the pool. i sit down next to addison who has her feet in the warm pool water.

addison: hey you alright?
you: ya i'm good. just trying to figure some stuff out
addison: well if you need anything- i'm here.

i smile a bit. we talk and talk and talk.

the next day

we've looked at 4 places so far and have found nothing we like. we are driving to our last option hoping we'll like it. it's charli dixie and i. we get to the place where our realtor is waiting.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6525-La-Mirada-Ave-APT-102-Los-Angeles-CA-90038/20789085_zpid/

after touring the apartment we decided that was the best and put in an offer before going back to the hype house. i get showered and changed. then i gather up all of josh's clothes that i have. i brought them all from canada that way he can have them back. this is hard for me to do because i still love wearing his shit. i end up leaving to go to sway. charli didn't come. i get there and take a deep breath before knocking.

bryce: hey kiddo

i hug him tight before he lets me in.

you: hey jaden
jaden: hey. sup
you: nothing. um will one of you take these to josh?

jaden nods knowing i probably don't wanna see josh. he runs upstairs with the duffel bag full of josh's things from my house. bryce and i sit on the couch catching up.

bryce: how have you been doing with the shit
you: better. i think. i don't know. my mind is kinda fucking with me right now and i'm just trying to figure shit out

i'm not telling him that i may possibly be into girls, until i'm sure.

you: how are you and addi
bryce: struggling but getting through it. there have been some trust issues i guess

i nod and we continue to talk. jaden comes back down and sits with us.

jaden: he said thanks. um anyways. charli told me your a good singer?
you: omg

jaden laughs.

jaden: she said you have like your own song. she said it's fucking good.

i blush being embarrassed.

jaden: well since y'all are moving to LA, you should record and release it. i mean- i'd love to hear it.
you: i- i don't sing in front of people. and the song- it's kinda personal
bryce: about josh?

my cheeks turn red again.

jaden: break up songs are good. lemme hear it sometime alright?

i nod. jaden is a really good musician and his songs are awesome. soon enough, josh comes down and shit gets awkward.

...................