The Bully's Diary [IN EDITING AS OF JAN2015]

The Bully's Diary 5 - If Only He Knew..

Author's Note: This book is now in editing (as of January 2015). If the tenses are messed up compared to the rest of the book, it's because I may be changing things around quite a lot.

When I opened my eyes I was still on my bed- it looked like my parents had left me alone, as usual. My Mom and Dad don't really look after me much, they just hand me a wad of banknotes and hope it's enough for me to forgive them, so I take it with a fake smile to let them think it's okay. I looked at the digital pink alarm clock that hadn't gone off sitting on my desk. It was seven in the morning- perfect. Just enough time to get ready and prepare for what I was going to do.

I got up slowly, stretched, and trudged over to my huge wooden wardrobe. Instantly I found the clothes I wanted- brown skirt, white sleeveless top that showed some of my chest, golden pendant as always and some black high-heeled boots. In this outfit I'd be irresistible, which was great for my plan. I slipped into the clothes with ease, and I was almost ready.

Looking in the mirror, I realized I hadn't taken off the smudged make-up and mascara streaks from yesterday, so I wiped them off and started to apply my make-up, finishing with my red lipstick and lots of mascara. I put a thin line of black eyeliner on each eyelid to frame my piercing sky blue eyes. Then I was ready to go. I rushed downstairs, grabbed my phone from downstairs and checked it. 17 missed calls, all from Matt. Oh, and a few from my friends, too.

Matt had left me lots of voice-mails, so I reluctantly listened to the first one...

"Carolina, where are you?! I've searched the parking lot and your car isn't there, so I'm guessing you went home... I'm really sorry that I can't explain what happened between me and Adrianna, and it won't ever happen again. I wish I could make you forgive me but I understand if you won't. I need to talk to you tomorrow, please be there."

Willing myself not to cry as I remembered yesterday, I shoved my phone in my pocket and walked outside. My parents had already left. Sighing, I got into my car and started the roaring engine up. I decided to put a CD on and mindlessly sang along to the lyrics, pretending that I wasn't about to tell the biggest lie in my life.

When I finally arrived in the school parking lot and walked out into the numbing cold, I wished I'd bought my jacket, but I would be inside for most of the day so it wouldn't really matter much. As I approached the school entrance I noticed Matt standing outside. His light brown hair was messy, he was wearing dark blue jeans and a simple white t-shirt, along with a dark brown leather jacket, and his favourite sneakers.

I could see the subdued look in his eyes and sighed, trying to look confident as I continued to go to the entrance. He looked breathtaking, but what he did was still unforgivable. When he spotted me his eyes lit up, but I could tell he was worried.

"Carolina," he breathed, hoping to explain to me why he'd kissed that tramp Adrianna, "I'm so sorry- it was a huge mistake-" I cut him off.

"Matt, I don't care about whether it was a huge mistake or not," I snapped. "Just why did you do it?!".

"I- I don't know." He replied, looking down at his feet.

"You don't know?!" I hissed, putting both hands on my hips.

"I'm sorry." He said in a whisper. Suddenly, I softened and almost wanted to just give him a hug and tell him it was okay.. But I couldn't.

"Well, I don't care anymore. Can we just put this behind us now?" I asked.

"You mean you still want to be with me? After what I did?" He questioned, shocked. I sighed and realized maybe I liked him more than I thought. I didn't forgive him completely, but enough to try again. Anyway, this was all part of the plan...

"Yes. But Matt, there's something else I need to tell you..." I said, and it was my turn to look down.

"What is it? You can tell me!" He tried to say it reassuringly, but he was obviously terrified of what I could possibly have to say.

I tried not to smile as I replied,

"I'm pregnant,".

His eyes grew wider as he took in what I'd just told him. It looked as if he wanted to drop to the floor, and I could see fear in his eyes. Absolute fear of what this meant. I looked down at my feet nervously, twirling my hair around my finger as I did whenever I was scared or worried, or, like now, nervous.

"I can't do this," he murmured before crashing to the ground. Oh God, I didn't mean to scare him that much! I bent down to the ground and made sure he was still breathing- thank God he was! Suddenly I felt a little guilty for scaring him so badly that he'd fainted... But what's done is done, I thought, before yelling for help.

When he finally awoke in the nurse's office, he was dazed and even smiled when he saw my face above him.

"Hey, Matt. How are you feeling?" I faked a smile as I said it.

"Wha- What happened?" He asked.

"You fainted, babe," I replied, "After I told you,".

"Told me what?" He asked, confused. Oh God, he didn't remember. This was bad...

"When I told you that I'm..." I trailed off.

"You mean it wasn't just some dream?!" He cried, sitting bolt upright on the recliner in the nurses' office.

"Calm down! It's all gonna be okay.." I started, but he interrupted me, panicking.

"Oh God.. God, no! How could this happen?!" He cried again, clutching his head. "Wait- is it- is it mine?!" He questioned.

"Seriously?" I glared at him. He groaned as he realized the hypocrisy of his question.

"Right. Sorry." He replied quickly, and sank back down onto the recliner.

When the nurse came back in, I told her that Matt felt fine now and that we'd be going back to lesson. It was time for period one then, so we set off in the direction of the Math block. We sat next to each other in that class, so it would be easy for us to talk about what had just happened. The air was bitterly cold and frosty. My breath came out in white puffs. Matt shrugged off his jacket and put it around my shoulders gently. He must be worried about the baby, I thought. Oh, if only he knew. I smiled to myself cruelly.

Phase one of my plan was complete.