The Bully's Diary [IN EDITING AS OF JAN2015]

The Bully's Diary 24 - Hidden Feelings

Hey guys!! Well, part 24 is here.. finally!! I didn't really know how to start after part 23 so yeah. But anyway here it is!! Hope ya like it and enjoy my little munchkins<3

This chapter is dedicated to MysticalMystery because her story, Scratch & Scream, has a lot of potential and is reallyyyy good!! I recommend it ^___^ only thing is there aren't many reads, so go check it out for meh?? :3 <3x

"David, he doesn't remember! He doesn't remember me at all!!" I cried, collapsing into his arms.

I'd left the hospital after Mom had demanded me home. I'd told her that Matt was awake, but was pretty much willing to go home after what he had told me. David hugged me back tightly. I needed some comfort, even though I knew it was kind of wrong to lead him on like this..

"Calm down, Carolina. It might take a bit of time for him to-" David started.

"No! He'll never remember!" I sobbed. I was probably getting make-up all over his jacket, but oh well. He didn't seem to mind.

"Listen to me. You need to give him time," he continued.

"But when he spoke the first thing he said- the first thing he said was Adrianna!" I protested, remembering. David cuddled me close as I sobbed and eventually calmed down. I pulled back from him and wiped my eyes, sniffing.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and David were sat on my bed, talking about random things. School, upcoming birthdays of my friends, just pointless things. Suddenly he leaned in to try and kiss me, but I put my hands on his shoulders to stop him. He looked at me in confusion.

"David, I need to talk to you about something." I said seriously.

"Okay, what is it?" He asked.

"You're gonna hate me." I sighed.

"No, I won't. That's a promise." He replied firmly.

"Alright. Okay, well, um.. David. You're a nice guy, I really like you, and I'm sorry but I don't think I like you in the way that you want me to. I was- I was looking for comfort. And you were there." I said, looking down at my hands nervously.

 "So you were using me?!" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes." I said in a whisper.

"So it's true. You really are the stone cold hearted bitch you always were. I knew you could never change." He said angrily. His words stung and a few tears escaped.

"I'm sorry." I murmured. "Is there any chance at all that you could forgive me.. And be friends?".

"You are just unbelievable." He concluded, then stormed out of my room.

"David, wait!" I called, going after him and running down the stairs. I almost tripped at the bottom but managed to maintain my balance.

"No. You've got what you wanted. Goodbye, Carolina." He said coldly, and with that, he left the house, slamming the door shut behind him. I know I was horrible, and I used him, but that was a little unnecessary..

I ran back upstairs and collapsed on my bed, soon falling asleep.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started to go to school like a zombie-girl. I hardly ate, hardly talked, and didn't get any sleep most nights. But when I did, it was always about Matt and the crash. Will any of this ever be over? Why does it have to haunt me so much? Days, weeks went by with nobody to turn to. I almost drifted down school hallways, and for once nobody made way for me. People just shouldered past like I never existed.

Worst of all, Matt was back at school. A living painful reminder of the crash, of everything. He walked around with Adrianna clinging to his arm all the time, and it was torture to see them pointing and whispering about me. I didn't even have any friends. They'd gotten tired of how I would never say anything to them, and if I did it was only a grumble of agreement. They had all drifted away from me.

I went to lessons, mindlessly did my work, not even thinking about what I was writing. Even my teachers began to tell me that I was writing random things, and Mr. Clatherly told me I'd been writing about the crash in my exercise book. I didn't even notice, though.. My parents told me they were worried about me and how little I'd been eating. I had noticed that I'd been getting thinner, but I just didn't care. I was never hungry anyway. I just felt so empty all the time...

"Carolina, sit up and pay attention this instant!" A harsh voice said, waking me. I sat up groggily and looked around. Everything was fuzzy, like you know when you shut your eyes for a while in a classroom, then look around and it's blurry like it's a dream? Well that's what happened to me this time, except I'd fallen asleep in class.

"Hmm?" I muttered, rubbing my eyes a little.

"Next time you do that, you'll be out of here. Now pay attention!" Mr. Lokely spoke. I sighed, annoyed. Him. He was so irritating!

The bell finally rang for the end of class and students flooded out of the classroom. I waited for them to go before attempting to leave myself. But then he stopped me.

"Uh, Carolina? I need to have a word with you." Mr. Lokely said loudly. I tried to pretend not to hear him and carried on walking, but he protested.

"Don't ignore me, Carolina. I know you heard." He called. I froze in my tracks and turned unwillingly.

"Yes?" I asked, forcing a half-smile.

"I'm concerned about your.. work, shall we say." He started. "You never pay attention and when you write in your book, it's a recount of the crash. I know this is a hard time for you, but to be honest it needs to stop." He finished.

"No, you don't know. Have you ever been in a crash? Had your best friend, and partner, taken away from you? He was in a coma, and now he doesn't even remember my name. So don't even try and tell me you know what that feels like!" I cried, running out of the classroom and into the crowded hallways. When I felt like I was a good distance away from Mr. Lokely's classroom, I stopped, panting a little.

Then I saw them. Matt and Adrianna, walking along the very hallway I was standing in, hand in hand. My heart was broken enough already, and now this? Adrianna smirked at me and possessively held onto Matt's arm as they went past. I didn't have the energy to shout at her, or even scowl. I just watched.

What did I do to deserve this?

Hey guys!! Well, I hope you liked that chapter and it will get more exciting soon.. By the way, do we think Carolina's given up on everything now?? You'll have to wait and see.. but I promise this book is no where near done yet!! <3x

comment

vote

fan

:)x