The Bully's Diary [IN EDITING AS OF JAN2015]

The Bully's Diary 10 - Nightmares & Sneaking Visits

Hey guys!! Woo, so I decided to try and write part 10 and finish it today, been a bit behind haha, but yeah I hope you like this part and enjoy!! ^__^ <3x p.s this part is dedicated to Georgie Blackwell because she was so nice and said she couldn't wait for the next part hahah, so yeah, enjoy!!<3

My body shook with the sobs I was making, and I didn't know when I'd be able to stop. Matt was in a coma, and it was all my fault.. If only I'd listened to him, I could have gotten out of the car, but no, I was being an angry bitch and decided to drive... I was so full of self-hate by now that I just wanted to kill myself, but that was not an option. I knew that would be the most selfish thing I could do. I needed to see him, hear his voice, know that he was okay...

I'd heard that sometimes people in comas never wake up, and if they do they don't remember anything about who you are. Maybe that'd be a good thing? That way, maybe, just maybe I wouldn't hurt him any longer. Who would tell his friends about it? If I rang them and mentioned that he was in a coma... They'd blame me. There was so question about it.

"Mom, I need to see him!" I cried.

"Honey, I don't think that's a good idea. His parents had to come home early to see him, and they definitely won't be happy with you." She replied.

"No, no, I need to know he's okay, just let me see him!" I pleaded.

She looked at me uncertainly, obviously close to giving in, but then...

"Carolina, I'm sorry, but it's just not possible." She said. She tried to hold my hand but I snatched it away, then felt mean and took it back again. I needed all the comfort I could get if I wanted to get through this.

I cried and cried long after she'd left to get herself something to eat, and met Daddy outside to tell him what I'd told her. He came in and held my hand as I howled. I just wanted to see Matt... After a while I was so tired that I fell into a troubled sleep on the tear-drenched pillow...

*            Dream           *

"CAROLINA, WATCH OUT!" His yell echoed in my ears as the car crashed into the one in-front of us. My head hit the steering wheel, his hit the dashboard. I screamed as the crimson dripped off my forehead.

"Matt!" I screamed, writhing in the hospital bed.

My body was hurled forwards as I saw the people in the car in-front get tossed around and I could almost hear their screams.

I was getting dragged under.

I couldn't reach the surface.

I was searching for something to hold onto as the car rolled, glass flying everywhere, some of it hitting me and piercing my skin.

I could feel myself letting go, I could feel the darkness creeping in.. I couldn't stay awake, I needed to, I needed to help him..

*           end of dream          *

When I awakened I was still writhing and screaming as nurses came to sedate me, holding me down as I cried and yelled for Matt. My daddy was running to my bed to help, stroking my hair, trying desperately to help me, but all I wanted was Matt. The needle pierced my skin and I felt the sting as it came out. No, no, no, I didn't want to go back to sleep! No... No... I can't- go... to...

---------------------------------------------------------

When for what must have been the fourth time, I awakened again, my head hurt and my vision was blurred, but I knew what I had to do. I struggled in the bed, tearing the sheets off of my sweaty body, steadying myself against the bed as I stood up. Taking a step at a time, I made my way to the door and opened it. I was so weak it made me want to cry, but I'd spent too much time crying already.

I made my way along the vast hallway as various people went past- patients, doctors, nurses... Luckily they were too busy to question me. It seemed like hours before I finally reached a door that had the number '57' on it, along with 'Matt Hatherly' on the sign. I pushed open the door and crept inside- nobody was in there.

Then I spotted him.

Tubes were attached to his face, his arms, taped into place. He was attached to a drip, too, and a heart monitor was the only thing telling me his heart was still beating. I wandered over to him, watching his chest rise and fall with tears dripping down my cheeks and onto my hands. Cuts were all over his face because of the glass that must've sliced his once clear skin, and his left leg was being supported and lifted up, wrapped carefully in a cast. If the pain from his broken leg didn't wake him, I didn't know what would.

I sat down carefully in a chair beside him, leaning against his well-built muscular chest. I could feel him breathing, and most importantly, his heartbeat. I tried to breathe in time with him, and I'd been doing this for about ten minutes when the door burst open and I heard a man shouting. I leaped up in shock and stared. It was Matt's dad, with his mother standing behind him worriedly, trying to calm him down.

I couldn't comprehend what he was saying, but judging by the furious expression on his face, I knew it was bad.

So I did the only thing I could- I ran.

I could hear Matt's father still shouting behind me and I ran even faster- I could feel the cold ground slapping my bare feet and I tried my best to ignore the pain. When I finally reached my room again, I collapsed onto the bed and hid under the covers like I had done when I was a child.

As I did one question popped into my head...

Why is the world so cruel?

Hey guys!! So, I hope you liked that part and continue to read this book because I'm pretty sure it will get even better, even though I have no idea what's gonna happen haha!! So yeah, the next part should be up tomorrow because I'm gonna have a break from the writing now and I still have artsy stuff I should be doing !! Love you guys, finally got up to over 100 readers and I know it isn't a lot compared to other people's reads, but I really appreciate it ^__^ <3

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