Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Twelve ~ Escaping Into Fantasy

Chapter Twelve ~ Escaping Into Fantasy

I find myself walking back and forth in the middle of the night in my room as I bite my thumb. I sit down on my bed, telling myself to relax. I let out a sigh and lie down. Am I overthinking? No, maybe it's right. After all these years of being bullied, isn't right to finally make a move? To release all the anger within myself? I've once heard a quote and it was "If something happens that makes you upset, don't hold it in, so that you don't have any wounds left given from anyone in the future." (Author's note: This quote is from KyungSoo!) I've been upset all my life because of Nancy and the people who bully me. I've been holding it in but now I'm going to let my anger all out. I have enough wounds and I don't need anymore. I close my eyes. How might I tell Luhan? Will he believe me? Maybe it's right to tell him now. After all it's been only two days of school which means two days I've known him for. He's still trying to understand me and now that we're together, it's more likely I need to tell him the truth.

<Tomorrow. Third Day of School>

I waited for Luhan at his locker. Today he was a lot later than usual. Since we're are alone together, I think this would be a perfect way to tell him. How will I start? Will I just be like.. "Luhan... there's something really important I need to tell you.. and since we are together now, I don't want to keep any secrets between us." That would be really be out of the odds though. You know what, (YourName), you got this. Just tell him, let it out.

Luhan: Morning sunshine

Me: heyy

Luhan: Have you ate breakfast yet? Want to go get a drink before class?

Me: umm I think I'm fine. I had a lot of coffee today in the morning.

Luhan: did you sleep really late?

Me: umm

I play with my fingers. This is great, I already have my chance to go into topic with him. Since he's asking about how late I slept yesterday, I can tell him that I stayed up late thinking about how to tell him.. yea that'll be a great way without making it that awkward and random.

Luhan: how come today you're so awkward with me? Is there something bugging you? or is it because now that we're dating, it feels a bit awkward?

Me: actually there's something I want to let you know... never mind..

Luhan: tell me.. I don't want any misunderstanding between us. If you let me know, I'll tell you the reason why I never told you why I wanted to protect you. Remember you got mad at me because all I said was "trust me"? (Author's Note: This happened near the end of Chapter Two).

Me: I don't know how to say it.. it's shocking to me

Luhan: just breathe in, breathe out. It's only the two of us.

Me: I'm scared to tell you because you'll be so worried about me..

Luhan: I have the right to care for you though, I'm your boyfriend. But if it's really something you can't tell, you don't have to because you also have every right to not tell me

Me: I know but the thing is that it'll be more awkward between us either way.

Luhan: you can always tell me when you're ready to tell me.

Me: No i have to let you know, I don't know how to contain this news myself.

How am I suppose to calmly tell him?! It's already more than awkward with him. I'm saying something then taking it back but then wanting to say something! I must make up my mind! Tell him? Or no? I need to tell him though but it's hard that I'm doing this. Will I regret telling him? I'm sure it won't be bad to tell him because there's no bad side of it.

Luhan: is it really serious?

Me: I.. I've been to the hospital early this morning.. and.. the doctor said I had.. some kind of...illness or something

Luhan: illness? What illness? Will you be fine? Is it really effective?

Me: I couldn't even really believe it myself. The doctors call it "Escaping - Into - Fantasy" (Author's Note: FYI<for your information> this illness/disease exists in the world, really. I searched it up)

Luhan: what is it?

Me: The doctor told me it develops in a human's mind from being bullied for many many years. The doctor also said the reason why I get bullied is because I have a hard time with social relationships, such as friends. Because I've been stuck with it for all my life, I've developed this "Escaping Into Fantasy" thing. The doctor says in this state of mind, I would try to deny the fact of being bullied and picked on to enjoy myself and to find happiness.

Luhan: WHAT?! Are you lying to me? Oh my gosh.. (yourName), I.. I'm really going to have a talk with Nancy about this! this is unbelievable! For the sake of trying to be popular and getting boys, she can bully such an innocent girl for so many years!! This is outrageous!

Me: no Luhan.. Calm down.. I will still live..

Luhan: but this is so unfair! How can you be so calm?! And after talking to her yesterday, I had pity her.. I can't believe I did such a thing! I wouldn't even have stood near her if I knew such a thing!

Me: you talked to her yesterday?

My mind was filled with smiles and happiness to the point I wanted to just laugh. I knew Luhan talked with her, I listened to every word they spoke.

Luhan: yea I didn't want to tell you because i was afraid you might worry.. Anyways, come with me, we must have a talk with her!

Me: no..

Luhan: why?! You're just going to let her bully you like that?!

Luhan pulls me and walks with anger to look for Nancy. As Luhan was facing forward, I had let out a smile, probably out of evil. Luhan believes me. I didn't want Luhan to fall into Nancy's trap but I guess he fell for mine. Nancy, this is all my revenge! Luhan won't be yours, he's mine! so don't think about being all sad about your life! Don't make Luhan pity you when there's nothing to pity for. Luhan won't come to your side, Luhan loves me, and he's mine! He's put me as his first position in his heart. He'll always worry for me, before anything else.

Luhan: Nancy! We have a lot to talk! I can't believe you can be so happy like right now! Don't make me pity you! You should be feeling sorry for (YourName)!

Nancy and her group of "popular" friends start laughing. We'll see who's laughing in the end.. I glare at her friends and they got quiet.

Luhan: you all be the witness! My girlfriend here has an illness because of you, Nancy!

Nancy: what?!

Luhan: you bullied her all these years, have you ever thought of the outcome? For the sake of being popular, you can do such a thing to someone so innocent like her? Do you know that all this bullying you've done has caused her to have some Escaping Into Fantasy illness thing? Even for me, it's the first time hearing about it! (YourName) went to the doctors this morning and after the diagnosis, this was the results.

Nancy: what the hell is Escaping Into Fantasy illness? Even I never heard of it.. Did you two stay up all night to make up such a stupid disease?

Luhan: Escaping into Fantasy illness so happens to appear in (YourName) because of you! This illness is where people would deny the fact that they are being bullied and try to find happiness and enjoy herself

Nancy: that makes no sense to me.. I don't see how she's denying the fact of being bullied. She's actually being really strong about it and trying to get me to stop bullying her.. She gives me glares and she has you to protect her.. She's not even being bullied actually because she has you..

Luhan: what about before? And so what if I'm there for her, it's only physically, I can't keep her from thinking bad about herself when you call her ugly or something mean or rude.

Nancy: let the girl speak.. I don't trust you. If she tells me this is true without hesitating, then I'll believe it.

...To Be Continued~~~

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