Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Twenty Four ~ I'm Sorry

Chapter Twenty Four ~ I'm Sorry

I gave my parents a quick death glare and angrily rolled my eyes at them. They pulled me by the arm and started to shout, "Don't give us that look, do you even know what Luhan said to us about you? He said you do really need help, not because you have some Escaping Into Fantasy illness, but another illness that surpasses Escaping Into Fantasy illness. He asked us what type of daughter teaching is this?! He told me to ask you what type of beast have you turned into? And he asked if you ever thought about him when you told the lie. Sweetie, I don't need him to hurt you anymore. You're our only daughter! We hate to see you crying."
I whispered under my breathe, "You disappoint me.. you know I love Luhan. Whatever he says about me won't change my feelings for him. And to get one thing straight, he's also my happiness, not just my pain." I rushed to the door and out the house before I could let one tear fall down. I don't want to marry anyone else but Luhan! What don't they understand? Luhan is everything to me! I look up at the sky filled with shining stars that light up the night. Each star reminds me of Luhan. Luhan once told me, "Look up at the sky when it's night time, you see those stars up there? They represent every time I think about you, so if you ever feel lonely, look at the stars, I'll be there by your side." As I repeat these words in a whisper to myself, tears fall down more quickly. If only he was still by my side to comfort me and to wipe my tears away.. everything would be perfect. If only I realized how much more important Luhan was to me than popularity, we wouldn't have to break up. If it wasn't because of a lie, everything would still be the way it use to be; Luhan and I, together. Crying won't help fix anything, it would only show my weakness, but I can't help it. Just the thought of Luhan makes me cry harder and harder each time. It's like a sharp needle stuck in my heart but the pain of realizing that I've lost Luhan is much more painful than that. The pain is more like a thousand edged knife fiercely stabbed to my heart with a massive rock on top all those knives. I place my hands on my heart, I can't endure this pain much longer anymore. For the first time, I understand the need of drinking. I want a break from this pain.

~Author's Point of View~
(YourName) is drunk from drinking five + bottles of beer. She suddenly feels the need to tell Nancy, after all Nancy still likes Mike. She dials the number but calls the wrong person. She calls Luhan instead because she's so drunk that her only thought is of Luhan. She thinks Luhan's number is Nancy's number. The moment Luhan picks up, (YourName) starts to rant, thinking it's Nancy.

~My Point of View~
"Nancy! Do you.. do you know what's going to happen to me?!" I shouted. I had paused in between every other few words. My voiced raised up as I had more to say. I laughed to myself and said, "My parents arranged a marriage between Mike and I! How crazy it that?! You know I only love Luhan.. but my parents said Luhan was irresponsible! They told me to forget about him. They told me that Luhan described me as a girl who's a beast.. I know Luhan won't ever do that! I know he still cares for me, even if it's just a little. I don't see how I can marry Mike! He's your man, Nancy! Watch over him! I've treated you bad enough Nancy, I don't want to be unfair to you anymore! I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to let Mike cheat on you! And I don't even have any feelings for him anymore! This marriage is so unfair! All because of that one stupid lie.. I thought it wouldn't cause much of a deal because I thought I wasn't really that important to anyone.. but it showed me that to you, I was important. Nancy, although we aren't friends, I'll do you a favor in return." I calmed down my tone after a while of speaking. I was originally mad but now, I'm depressed once again. I tried to not cry and took in a deep breathe then calmly said, "I love Luhan and I can't afford to lose him. I just can't, the moment since he left, I didn't even know why I live. Who do I live for? Do you think I should just let go? Would you think Luhan would be happy without me? Yea.. maybe that's it. I should start thinking about how others feel before I make a decision. If I hold on, it'll cause more trouble for Luhan. I'll learn to love him from afar. I don't need to be with him to love him. Aiyah, anyways, Nancy thanks for just listening tonight. I wish you well with Mike and hopefully I can get out of this marriage thing with him. Oh yea and thanks for understanding me and not bullying me anymore. Maybe I've lost Luhan but I can be happy for the little things right? That's what Luhan taught me. Ah mianhae(sorry), this whole conversation call is of me saying Luhan here, Luhan there." I laugh to myself and added on, "Well maybe I'm bothering you, it's getting late. Take a look at the stars in the sky before you sleep, it'll be a lot helpful to fall asleep. It really does because it helps you forget all the things that bother you and leaves a smile on your face." I finally heard someone reply over the phone. Nancy replied, "I'm sorry (YourName)." I froze for a second, as I'm still drunk. Nancy? Is that Nancy's voice? It's a guy's voice? Ah i don't know, maybe I'm hearing wrong. Ah maybe I'm going crazy right now! Do I miss Luhan that much that I'll hear his voice when it's actually Nancy? Aish.. I hung up and drank more.
"Yah.. (YourName), if you really regret, do something nice for her! Wishing her good luck with Mike won't do it. You have the best opportunity to talk with him and convince him to go out with Nancy. Mike didn't go out with her because he saw her as a bully, someone who's mean to everyone. I can tell Mike that she changed because she really did! That's it," I yelled, talking to myself, as if my conscience was sitting in front of me.
Soon someone came tapping me on the shoulders. I slowly lifted up my head and stared at the person in front of me but everything seemed so blurry. I didn't say anything until my vision became clearer. "Nancy?" I questioned.
"Hey.. why are you drinking so much? Let's get you home, okay?" Nancy said as she carried me off the chair. I nodded my head, "Sorry to keep you up so late and thank you."
"Don't think we're friends, we won't ever be. I'm just here as a thank you for helping me realize what type of crazy life I was living in back then, but there's nothing more though." Nancy replied.
"I know. I just wanted to say thank you anyways. Wait, before we leave, could we drink a few more glasses? I want to forget all the pain. I really regret telling that lie, Nancy. No matter how many times you tell me that at least it helped you, I can't seem to stop regretting. I regret because I lost Luhan. I know that's so selfish of me, but it's also selfish of me to tell that lie, thinking of myself, thinking of how it'll benefit me. I didn't even care about Luhan at those moments when I planned to lie. Nancy.. tell me how is it possible for Luhan to forgive me?" I said as I was more aware of the surroundings but feeling a bit drunk still.
"Hope. Sometimes you don't intend to do certain things, but it just happens. Think of it this way, your lie gave Luhan and yourself a break from being bullied. You stopped me from doing wrong. Maybe you didn't intend for that lie to cause that much, but it did. Now I'm not saying lying was correct, but it already happened, shouldn't you be thankful for what you have and move on? And now you've learned your lesson, so now you know that it's better not to lie in the future, right?" Nancy replied as she comforts me.
Nancy has really matured. She is filled with positivity. I guess I can try to be happy for everything that's happened but I still have feelings of regret when I think positive. I feel like I'm not taking the blame of all the trouble I caused.
Something feels weird about tonight. I've spoke with Nancy over the phone, I've mentioned about the marriage between Mike and I but it seems that she's not angry or sad, she seems more like she doesn't even know about it.

...To Be Continued~~~

Thank you for reading and supporting me! I don't know how to thank you enough! Ah I know the format of this story has changed, I am sorry if you prefer the other format better, and I am sorry for the sudden change of the format. I don't know if I will keep this format for my further stories and chapters of this story but if I do, then here's a little notification on that(: Have a wonderful day !~