Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Thirteen ~ It's Only You

Chapter Thirteen ~ It's Only You

Everyone looks at me with a feeling of waiting for me to say something. I give them back a blank stare as if I didn't pay attention to a thing they were talking about. Honestly, I'm not all that evil. I actually pity Nancy because she only wants to fit in. But again, it's all because of Nancy, that I'm the person I am. In a sense, I don't want Luhan to be mean to Nancy but if this didn't happen, there wouldn't really be a meaning to everything I'm doing. I'm not going back when my mind has already been set.

Me: I've been hesitant all morning, thinking about how to tell Luhan, thinking about how to tell MeiHan, thinking about how to accept the truth myself. I didn't know how to explain it to anyone so I only wanted to tell Luhan about it but I guess now everyone will know.. is it considered bad for everyone to know? You'll all go back to bullying me right? It's no point but yea it's true.. I thought that having this illness made no sense either because I don't find myself trying to deny the fact that I'm being bullied so I questioned my doctor, but he said that it was because I'm in the really late (Author's Note: when I say late, i meant as in a really strong stage of the illness. For example, there's stage one which is also called the early stage, where it's not so effective. But since in this case, it's late so really effective) stages of this Escaping Into Fantasy thing where it's really complicated. I don't really understand it but I think it's really serious since I'm in the really late stages of this illness thing. Maybe because it's so "high developed" you can't really tell the different between me with this illness and a person without it. It's a little scary for myself.

I looked up at them with a serious look, all eyes that were on me were filled with sadness because they were touched with my little story. This.. was nothing compared to my whole life. If I had a chance to really explain my whole life in a story, you'd be crying a river for me. Or maybe there's some people in this world who don't care.

Hui An: In this world, people do many things for different reasons but no matter what reason it might be, it's unfair to step on others to get something that's not really that important.. Listening to what you just said, I think I've made a really big mistake, if I can make it up by being your friend, I'd love to. Please forgive me. I'm not trying to do this to get your forgiveness, it's myself that I can't get over for what I've done to you. I helped Nancy so many times to bully, I'm sure if you think hard enough, you'll recognize me from elementary school. Nancy has never told me her reason to bully you but on her behalf, I say sorry to you. I should be responsible for something Ive done wrong. My name is Hui An, and the meaning of that is obliging and quiet. I am quiet and i do follow orders, I always thought these two despriptions were good to be described with but I didn't think it could do such harm to others. I'm sure I knew right from wrong in every situation, but I never dared to speak a word, so if you need, blame me. I may have said a speech just now as if you were about to die and maybe it just went into your ears and out the other but i wish you can recover as soon as possible!

There's no way I'm hesitating for anything. This speech, I give it a rating of 10+, it's beautiful, this has been something I wanted to hear all my life. In just 4 years, I'll be in college. If I can hear these words more often, I'm sure I'll be a much much more heart warming and caring person. I'll also be a person who I'd want to be friends with and a person I want to be. After all these years that just past by like a snail, I've learned that in order to get want you want, you have to earn it through society's way. Soceity's way is another word for evilness and lies. On the third day of school now, I've learned quit a lot. It's not too late to change this year around. Looking more innocent than I am with lies will do the trick.

Me: Why are you pitying for me? I thought I was your target, I thought you bullied me for fun. This is so unlikely of you. Why are you all giving me such a sad face? Is it something I've said?

I'll show them I'm way more innocent than I am. After being bullied all my life, this is sweet revenge. Honestly, I didn't think this would have worked but I'm guessing it did.

Luhan: cut the "asking for forgiveness" you all clearly know the outcome of bullying someone. It's been on social meida everywhere, it's been on tv, it's been spoken everywhere around you. How dare you tell her that you can't get over the fact that you bullied her? You knew right from wrong in every situation like you said Hui An, but don't use the sake of your name, to make yourself look a lot more innocent than you are. If you want to make it up to her, stop bullying anyone in the future. She's been through a lot and she doesn't want anyone else to suffer this pain. She's so sweet and innocent, I can't believe you done this!

Woah.. Luhan.. every time.. you get me hesitating again and again. In your eyes, you see me as someone so sweet and perfect. Somehow I really want to show you that I really am this type of person but deep down in my heart, I'm surely the opposite of what you've just said. One day, you'll realize what a jerk I am. One day you might even hate me to death. If I was to describe someone who was sweet and innocent, it would be you Luhan. It's only you who's sweet and innocent. I don't measure up to these beautiful words. I admit, I, also am a devil in an angel. If I told you the truth now, you'd be forever mad at me but if I let it just go by, you might not even find out the truth or maybe you will. Then you'd be so mad me. You would probably transfer schools because of me, maybe you'll regret everything because I played your heart. Even if you found out, I want to let you know that I truly love you Luhan because you never gave up on me. I would never dare say that I'm doing this for us, for you and I, because it's too selfish. All this, was for my own needs. I know now, that I prefer to have one true friend like you Luhan, than to have tons of friends who doesn't treat you like a true friend. It's just one step too late because if I told the truth, I'd lose you Luhan, the most important and precious person in my life.

Me: Luhan.. Now that we made a bigger deal out of it, I'm sure they've realized what they done wrong, let's not make it a bigger fuss than it already is. The bullying has been done, you can't change it. I appreciate that you're stepping up to everyone for me, but i'm sure that now they know they've done wrong. Now you've done all you can so now I just want to be with you. Just the two of us. Maybe they need some time to think about it too.

Luhan and I holds hands and walk out of "the scene" where drama just happened. Class was about to start anyways. Luhan walked me to my first period class. There was a couch there where Luhan and I took a seat there. Luhan laid back and I laid beside him as he had his arms around me. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breathe. This morning was a lot more than I expected. Somehow I feel like I'm the biggest devil here. I don't mind it because what other people see is an innocent little angle.

Luhan: I'll be your man always and protect you.

Me: I love you, thank you for everything. Thank you for stepping up for me. I didn't think I could announce it, honestly if I said it, I don't think they'd listen, it's only you. It's just you because you're such a handsome guy and so loving.

Nancy walks into the classroom and disturbs the two of us.

Nancy: I don't believe you, anything you've said. Good job on getting people to pity you, it's not going to work on me. I find something fishy here.

....To Be Continued~~~

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