Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Four ~ I Hate You

Chapter Four ~ I Hate You

What the hell.. I hate it when guys act so nice and sweet when they have a girlfriend.. I really don't. Cheating on someone for someone else? It's so crazy. I mean like literally.. Why can't guys be loyal to just one girl? They treat love like it's any other game in the world. One girl would be considered a game and another would be another game. Once you're tired of one game, you go to another one. It's the same thing. When you spend lots of time playing one game, it's kind of saying you really enjoy it, in the sense of humans, it's saying you really like to be around me. But then when you just suddenly quit the game, it's like you suddenly lost interest in me. Luhan is one that switches games many time. His girlfriend, then to me, then back to his girlfriend.. with the thought of it just makes me sick! I can't believe the one friend who's there for me is this type of guy.. I can't believe I've fallen for someone like him!! I wish it was just as easy as taking something back physically. I really can't believe I'm being so jealous of her.. I don't understand where this jealousy comes from. Maybe I over reacted? Maybe I should be happy that he saved me three times and all the moments I had with him. Why am I being like this? I've never been like this. I don't even know the truth.. maybe that girl could be his really good friend or something.. maybe it's too fast of me to think they have a love relationship. I stopped at my locker and hit my head against my locker. How can I be so dumb?! (YourName)! Now how can you tell Luhan what happened just at first? And why you left? Are you going to tell him you were jealous? You have feelings for him? You like him? You really fell for him? What, no I can't tell him that! That is crazy! After all he's said that we've just met and we need to get to know each other more. After all he said about trusting him, I couldn't.. what type of friend am I? Someone tapped me on my shoulders. I turned around in shock that it was the girl at first with Luhan.

???: Um Hi..

Luhan: Hey.. let me talk to her.

???: Okay, I'll be over there waiting for you.

Luhan: Heyy (YourName), you okay? What was all that about just at first?

Me: Nothing..

Luhan: you sure?

Me: Yea.. nothing..

Luhan: It must be hard for you.

Me: what do you mean?

Luhan: I know you want to be close with someone, but you don't know how to, you're afraid it's not right.

Me: huh?

Luhan: how she can be so random with me, you're jealous of it, right? You want to be able to be closer with me, right?

Me: ...sure what you just said.

Wow okay, at least I'm feeling tons better! I was so scared Luhan knows I like him.. I'm so scared he'd find out! Good thing he saw it in another way! Ah saved my life again! But it doesn't mean I'm not mad for not introducing me to his friend.. over there. I mean he totally ignored me when she came.. he didn't even introduce her to me first either!

Luhan: Anyways.. I'm sorry, to be honest, I'm not close with anyone either. Other than my family, my cousins, and my relatives, I'm not closer with anyone but you. That girl is my cousin, MeiHan.

Are you serious?!?! Cousin?! Cousin... really? Not his girlfriend? What has my mind gotten into? Thinking he was dating her.. okay.. maybe my mind is set too much on him that I'm just jealous of anyone that he's with. I need to chill... my love for him is just increasing! And I can't help it but to fall deeper and to get more and more jealous! Will this ruin my relationship with him? I hope not! Gosh I'm so stupid! Now how can I respond to him?