Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Thirty Two ~ All Over Again

Chapter Thirty Two ~ All Over Again

Today is the day Luhan can leave the hospital. It's been about a month since the incident. I'll see Luhan more often now that he'll be at school. I've been through a month of people talking bad about me and no one there to protect me. Honestly, I really miss Luhan's presence. He use to get angry and make a fuss about it when someone says something mean about me.

~Flash Back~
Luhan and I were walking to my locker as there were a bunch of girls in front of us talking about me. At first Luhan was able to hold in his anger, but as they spoke more and more, the comments were even more rude, which made Luhan even more upset.
"She's so ugly, like I don't understand why Luhan always sticks to her. She smells too! I wonder if she even showers.. like uhh maybe to poor.. She needs to learn how to shower instead of trying to learn at school.. She needs to learn the basics first.." One girl complained.
Luhan tapped her on the shoulders real hard and shouted at her, "Rude as heck.. do you know why she smells? Because people like you think it's fun to bully people and throw your unwanted food at her during lunch time. Since you're being so truthful, I'll be honest with you too. You wear too much make-up, do you know how to properly put make-up on? You should be the one to drop out of school and learn the basics. Ah also, please dress up properly, if you're complaining that it's cold, please zip up your jacket instead of showing off to guys.. and tie your shoe laces before you trip. Why not you go learn the basics first."
Luhan smiles as he grabs my by the hands. He pushes the girls out the way. He gives me a look, signalling me to ignore what the girls said back there.
"I would offer anyone my jacket if they're ever cold, but I think everyone here worries about their image, so I'll only offer my jacket to (YourName) who doesn't care about what others think. At least she's happier wearing whatever she wants than wearing short shorts and everything.. Enjoy being 'popular' at this school." Luhan added on.
~End of Flashback~
  I wonder if that'll be the same again. I wish we were one month back in time. Thinking back, I make Luhan look stupid. He "bragged" to the world that I don't care what others think about me, but in reality, I care. I care every single day. Luhan always seems so cool when he fights back for me though. I think I miss it. During the past month, I had to walk to class, listening to all these "gossips" going around the school about Luhan and I. I've heard a lot honestly. Some people think he'll join Nancy to bully me, some people think he'll talk bad about me, some people say Luhan is dumb to fall for me, and some say that Luhan being there for me, was the stupidest thing he'll ever do. I'm fine with all those possibilities except the last one. I think that'll hurt me the most but it's not a choice for me to choose.
I'll always regret my decision to lie because not only have I lost Luhan, I've hurt him deeply. The scars I left in his heart is deeper than the ones from the knife and gun shot. It'll always hurt more mentally than physically. Now is not the time to regret anymore, what's happened has happened. If I can, I'll pretend as if nothing happened, but every time I look into Luhan's eyes, I can't seem to be strong enough. I become this "soft-hearted" girl because I really want to say sorry to him. He's always been true to me, I see his love for me. I really wonder, have I ever been thankful for his love? Was there ever once where I only thought of him and I together and nothing else?
Ah why do I keep thinking of these questions? Why am I constantly regretting, I must move on. Heaven has already given me another chance. Always be positive.

~Tomorrow At School~
It's 7:30am in the morning and class starts in 30 minutes. I walk to my locker to get my books and be ready to head to class. Ah it's such a chilly day today. It brings so much memory. It's just like the first day of school, but it's just missing Luhan coming to give me his jacket. I laugh a little to myself, wondering why I'm actually thinking Luhan will come to give me a jacket. Ah.. silly me, how can I have left my jacket in the car? It'll be warm soon, hopefully.
Suddenly, I feel a warm sweater placed on me. I turn around to see Mike there. For a second, my heart stopped beating, I really thought it was Luhan. I can't believe I really thought it was him. How stupid of me..
"Yah.. it's so cold and early, why are you wearing so little?" Mike questioned with concern in his face and tone.
"Thanks.." I responded.
"You look so tired, why didn't you sleep in a bit today?" Mike said as he looked at me with a frown.
"Ah Mike, thanks for your concern, but I just want some alone time, okay? I'll see you later." I said.
Mike frowned at me even more then patted me on the shoulders and left. I sighed. I can't let out all my emotions on him, it's not fair.. just because I thought he was Luhan, I can't give him attitude. He was only worrying about me. Ahh I really don't know anymore. I hit myself on the face lightly with my hands, whispering to myself, "Wake up, (YourName)."
I close my locker as I held my books in my left hand. I felt a weight on my shoulders and heard a voice.
"Do you think you'll be warm with such a thin sweater? You'll get sick easily. Here, drink some of my hot chocolate if you don't mind. It'll keep you warm." Someone said from behind.
I turned around and saw Luhan there with a huge smile. My heart was beating and beating. It felt like my heart wanted to jump out of my body. A smile formed on my face. I've never smiled since about a month ago. His jacket supplied me with warmth. He then took my books and offered me the hot chocolate. I took a sip with smile. I looked at him with a smile. With him there, I smiled the whole time.
"Hey.. you're that one girl who visited me at the hospital yesterday. I remember your face, so beautiful and pretty. Ahh thanks for visiting. I'm sorry if I was a bit mean yesterday. I felt uneasy because I don't remember anything. If we know each other, please fill me in." Luhan said.
I really wanted to reply to him and say we're boyfriend and girlfriend but then I forgot, we broke up already. I was about to tell him about that lie, but then I forgot that it'll ruin my only chance to start fresh with him. I want to hug him and say I miss him, but then he'll question about our relationship. I'll have a hard time to say "we're just friends". I can't mention anything about bullying because it could remind him of everything from the past. How can I reply? How can I act as if we never met. My mouth just can't to seem to mouth the words "We don't know each other" because we clearly know each other but what other choices do I have?
"We never met before till now. By the way, thanks for the drink and jacket. I'm a lot warmer now. I'll return you your jacket." I replied. It hurts a lot to say those words. The words repeat in my mind.. "we never met before till now." It really hurts so much, it stings.
"Then it's a pleasure to meet you. I hope we get along well. And please keep the jacket till the end of the day, I don't want you to get sick." He offered.
"Thank you. You're so kind, if only I was so nice to others like you." I confessed.
"What do you mean? You're really nice." He said as he looked at me with a confusion in his eyes.
"Hmm.. really? Thanks.. ah since you lost... wait.. I'm sorry I won't mention it but I'll walk you to your class." I offered, trying to change the subject as fast as possible.
"Yea that'll be best or I'll get lost." He says as he laughs a bit.
I miss hearing his laugh so much it just makes me want to cry. My eyes fill with tears but I try to blink as fast as possible hoping they'll go away.
"Luhan! Why are you with her? She lied to you! How can you still be with her? You two broke up already!" A guy shouts from behind.
My heart literally just shattered into pieces because I tried so hard to not remind him of anything of the past. I even had to say with my own mouth that we don't know each other.

...To Be Continued~~~  

It's been a week since I've updated! I'm so sorry! It's really hard finding time during the weekdays because of school. Hmm school shouldn't be my excuse :( but anyways yes I'm sorry for not updating for a week. I hope the amount of readers don't decrease but increase! Thank you to all those that read my stories! Thank you so much!