Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Three ~ Jealousy

Chapter Three ~ Jealousy

I left the room without even knowing that class wasn't dismissed yet. I wanted to go back in, but it'll be silly of me. I walked back and forth. Changing my mind each time. Should I go in? No I shouldn't.. but what if I get in trouble? No I won't... just go to your next class (YourName)! No no.. i can't because I just left Luhan there.. he helps me.. i can't be rude to him. No, you aren't being rude to him! He made you mad, let him come to you and comfort you! He's the guy. It doesn't make sense! I should go back in and apologize. No just stop!! I'm just going to sit right by the door. I'm talking to myself like always, is this what people hate about me? Is it that I'm too sensitive? Or I just get mad easily? Maybe I need to change that about myself. I feel someone tap my shoulders, I look up from the floor to see Luhan there in front of me.

Luhan: Hey.. you okay? I.. uh sorry about that at first. I didn't mean to get you mad. It's just really embarrassing to tell you, and it's really for the better that you don't know. Please.. let me keep this a secret but everything else, I'll tell you, okay? Everything but this.

Me: why? Is it really that important? Or is it something mean?

Luhan: I promise you, it's not something rude or mean to you. It's actually the opposite. This is all I can tell you for now so don't question me, okay? But I'll tell you everything else you want to know. I promise.

Me: I just don't see why you can't tell me..

Luhan: First, you don't see me asking about your things, I respect you and i hope you can respect me too. Let's just leave it at that. I mean we just met today too, we can't be that close already can we? It's not that I don't trust you, but it's also something i wouldn't tell anyone unless it's the correct timing. Anyways, forget about that. Smile, I don't like seeing you so sad like this. It hurts even more to see that I made you mad in the first place.

Me: this is what I don't get about you! You're always so unpredictable! I don't know what you're going to do next, I don't know what you're feeling or what you're thinking. You could be the best actor in the world and tell me to trust you. I really don't know anything about you, so please tell me more about you. You were just saying in a serious way of how I wouldn't need to know then you end it in such a nice and friendly way. Do you know you're just messing with me?

Luhan: please don't be mad anymore, I'll tell you more about me soon. You'll understand one day. I don't want to be mean to you so I try to make it as nice as I can. You know how you just blurt out things without thinking.. it's the same as I did at first, that's why it always ends up so serious and mean, but I don't want you to think that, so I end it in a friendly way. Do you get me?

Me: I'm confused.. and i really hate this feeling!

Luhan: Just forget about everything.

Me: I don't want to forget everything because there's one thing in a million that I want to keep. It's either I throw it all away or keep it all. For the sake of you, I don't want to forget everything. You're the very first person to see me as someone who is just as good as any other person. For this feeling, I'd keep the painful memories.

~Luhan's Point of View~
I'd never expect her to say such deep words. In a sense, I've seen her as another person, not the same girl who was picked on even on the first day of school, not the same girl who couldn't stand up for herself, but a girl who was thankful for even the littlest things she had and was willing to go through anything for one simple friendship. Just to keep one friend, she'd go through anything. I don't know where I'd be able to meet such an amazing girl like her. I realized just know of how much she needs me. If I left her alone for one day, she'd probably break down. I'm going to promise myself that on the days I'm sick or busy, I'll take out my time to just be with her and protect her.

Luhan: You've made me realize how important I am to and I promise you that I'll always be there for you, okay?

(YourName): you promise? because i can't live life without you, really, people will just treat me like trash but when you're there at least i have someone on my side to make me feel better about myself.

Luhan: I promise you, I'll be there for you if you can promise me not to cry anymore. Please bare with me for a while longer, I'm not your hero, I don't know you enough to know what makes you mad or what makes you happy. I promise you I will pay a lot of attention to you though, to the point I know every little single detail about you.

(YourName): I'm sorry actually.. for making you feel so pressured. You're right that this is our first time meeting, i shouldn't act like i knew you for years.

Luhan: i know why you're like this, because you've finally found a friend, and when you find a friend, it's always the most exciting thing that could happen in your life that you just wish you knew everything about that other person.

~My Point of View~
I look down, really embarrassed but Luhan takes my hands. I get up from the floor and Luhan hugs me tight.

Luhan: no more crying anymore, okay?

Me: I feel so ashamed. I actually realize why people don't want to be my friend.

Luhan: that's a lie, it's all an illusion in your head. Just know you're beautiful and amazing to me okay?

Me: can you not say good things about me? I've finally realized what a useless person I am, how stupid and annoying. 

Luhan: Even if you did mess up in the past, people have chances, don't they? Plus everyone makes mistakes. Who doesn't? If you didn't make mistakes, then you sure wouldn't be a human but you make mistakes, which makes you a human. That's where you do fit in because everyone makes mistakes. I make just as much mistakes as you. Even if someone did something wrong, it doesn't mean they don't deserve encouraging  words. Right? Don't hate yourself. Love yourself instead. Learn to love yourself before you could love someone else. In friendships, love is the main thing that keeps a relationship. So respect yourself.

Luhan hugs me.

Luhan: love yourself okay?

Me: okay... i love myself..

Luhan: you're not serious... let me tell you something. Even if it's not an interesting topic, I'm so happy to just be with you and talk to you because you're such an amazing person. Okay, do you know why people don't talk to you? Do you know why they make fun of you?

Me: cause im ugly..

Luhan: nope, you're behind beautiful and amazing. They're so jealous, they have to look down on you to make themselves feel better. They're jealous of you. Keep that in mind, okay? When someone calls you ugly, just remember that you're beautiful.

Me: if I'm beautiful and they're jealous, they would want to be my friends and be popular, but I'm not! I'm nothing but a loser.

Luhan: If they be your friend, then you'll always be considered the most popular to them, they'll always be under you but they don't want to be under you, they want to be better than you.

Me: ...

Luhan: out of words now huh? Because I said the truth, right?

Me: ...

Luhan: why can't you believe me? I really mean it.

???: Luhannie! There you are! I missed you so much!!

I look at Luhan and the girl. My eyes widen. My mood swings from shy and happy to mad and jealousy. Who is this girl? She hugs Luhan so tight like they're dating! Luhan just hugs her back.. are they dating? I don't get it? So Luhan has been messing with my feelings all this time? Trying to be nice to me and making me feel pretty and all that crap.. when he has a girlfriend?! I want to know who this girl is! I'm just mad that he has a girlfriend and he gives no signs of it! Now I'm left there in love with him!! She acts all cute in front of him.. im done. I give Luhan a mean stare and walk away.

...To Be Continued~~~

Thank you for reading! I hope you like it! Comments are appreciated! Have a great day(: