Every Second There Is Love

Chapter Twenty Three ~ Forget The Past

Chapter Twenty Three ~ Forget The Past

Everyone shouted "Boo!!" and started to throw unfinished food at me. Everyone eats during class time, so their pockets would be filled with food. There's all types, some have fruits, donuts, spaghetti, chips, and much more. Now all of that unfinished food is all over me, all over my uniform. The spaghetti perfectly aimed at my face and it slides down my face to my uniform. It's disgusting, all that saliva, all the smell of each food mixed together as if I was in someone's trashcan. That's how I smell now probably but it doesn't matter, most important was Luhan. He glanced over for a quick second and left while everyone else continued to "Boo!!" at me. I let out a sigh, knowing I've upset Luhan. My heart was beating extremely fast, my feet wanting to run and chase after Luhan, my arms just wanting to hug him tight, my eyes only wanting to see him in front of me, and my mouth wanting to say the words "I'm sorry". I regret so much but if it wasn't for me, Nancy wouldn't have been more mature than now. At least I helped someone even if the outcome was for the worst for me. I should be happy for even the littlest things, maybe my acts were a bit to outrageous, but once i messed up, I can't go back in time and change it. What's done, is done. Be happy for the good part of it. Nancy's become more mature, and I've realized more about the type of person I really am. I'm someone who gets jealous very easily.

~Luhan's Point of View~
I should have known, I should have been more open and tried to understand everything. After talking with Nancy, I felt bad for her, but that was the time when (YourName) told me she had that illness, which made me furious! I was so angry at Nancy that I forgot her side of the story, I only worried for (YourName) because I couldn't imagine how cruel Nancy was to (YourName). Out of anger, I ignored Nancy. Now thinking about it, I should really say sorry to Nancy. I don't even know how to make it up to her. She spent the time to explain her inner feelings to me and I just ignored it because of my love and care for (YourName). Nancy had no one to talk about her inner feelings and for her to tell them to me, I should be honored and thankful, I should try to help her and give her advice. All of that, was something I didn't do.

Luhan: Hey.. Nancy.. mind if I sit here with you for lunch?

Nancy: Aren't you going to spend the time with (YourName)?

Luhan: don't even mention her name anymore.. I'm just really upset I could fall for her tricks

Nancy: it only shows you love her. Come on, everyone knows you love her still, give her a chance. After all, she gave me a chance to restart life. Today's the fourth day of school, basically the beginning of high school. Because of her, I can take this advantage to really start a new beginning in my life. I realized how hard it was for her. She endured all the pain and hurtful words for about eight years or more, it'll be likely for her to burst out with revenge, wouldn't it? Don't overthink it, she really loves you.

Luhan: I don't see why you have to be so nice to her, anyone can make you realize that bullying is wrong, what's so special about her?

Nancy: yes, anyone can make me realize the truth, but it was only her who did so. It was just her, that's what makes her so special. Many people say they can do anything and everything, but really can they? Words are words, sometimes they can mean nothing. Action is much more powerful

Luhan: sometimes words can mean nothing.. then you're saying that every time (YourName) says "I love you" to me, she doesn't mean it? Her actions prove that she doesn't love me either. She lied to me, she hurted me, she didn't care about how I felt. I was there for her always, helping here and there but in return, what has so done for me to show she loves me?

Nancy: You even know how to say sometimes, so that doesn't mean it always applies to every situation. (YourName) really loves you, her actions definitely shows it. When she looks at you in the eyes, don't you ever have this feeling in you where you feel like you're in heaven? Don't think so negatively. Yes, her lying is terrible, but have you ever thought that she was trying to make life easier for her? Making life easier for her, is the same as making life easier for you. Are you ever tired of protecting her? You probably are but you won't because you love her. Because of her lie, she gave you a break. Be happy for even this little thing. Give her a chance, and also yourself a chance. Maybe things went wrong in between the two of you, but would it be more painful for the two of you to be together, or would it be more painful for the two of you to go on your own separate ways? Give yourself a chance to control yourself. Like you said, you love her so much, you didn't even think and ignored me after our conversation. Next time try thinking more open. Now I'm not saying loving her too much is bad. Also give her another chance to really show her true love for you.

*Awkward Silence*

Luhan: Nancy.. look I'm sorry, for ignoring you. For you to tell me your inner feelings, was hard for you. Not only did I not appreciate you trusting me, I ignored you and was angry with you. I was upset after hearing that she was having problems with an illness.

Nancy: if you want me to forgive you, take my words in consideration. Think about it again, really think about it. Forgive her. I don't want you to regret in the future.

Nancy pats me on the shoulders and leaves

~My Point of View~

Mom: Sweetie, I didn't know you were going through so much in school. You could have let us know that someone was bullying you. You kept this a secret for about eight years now. Do you know this makes us really worried?!

Me: mom.. you don't get it, you don't understand everything. You don't know what I did.

Mom: I do, I understand. The principal told me everything already, you're lucky nothing bad is going to happen. Yes, it's wrong to tell lies but bullying is also wrong. Yes there are many ways to stop Nancy from bullying you but you only lied for self defense.

Me: and if I say I lied for revenge? Wouldn't the whole story change mom?

Mom: Honey, even if it was for revenge or self defense, you've already lied. The outcome is still the same isn't it?

Me: Do you think Luhan would forgive me? It's impossible. I bet he'd forgive me if I lied out of self defense but the truth is that I lied out of revenge!

Mom: Don't even mention that boy to me.. he's so irresponsible! If he loves you, no matter what lie you tell, he should forgive you because he knows you're human. He should love all your flaws and to understand that you're only human. If he loves you so much, he wouldn't let a lie be the wall between the two of you. Don't you think you deserve a chance? Everyone knows you've learned your lesson. And if he really loves you, he wouldn't care what he has to go through when he's with you. He'd go through anything just to be with you. That's love. Forget about him darling, he's not the one for you. Guess what's the good news though!

I give my mom a blank stare, really confused of the words she just said. It doesn't mean that Luhan doesn't love me if he doesn't forgive me. Maybe he loves me, but for his sake of happiness, he wouldn't want to be with me. I would only make him unhappy, I would only hurt him. For him to stay away from me, gives me a chance to not hurt him anymore. I love him but I can't hurt him anymore. One time is already too much.

Mom: Daddy and I contacted Mike's parents. You remember Mike right?! He's coming over tonight for dinner, he came back to live here in China! They bought a house a few blocks away from ours. We've discussed something really important about your future, our future, and their future. We came to agree that after high school, you and Mike will get married! Yes maybe it's four years from now, but you have time to catch up with him! After all, you two have been separate for a while now! Forget Luhan okay? You'll be happier with Mike, he's a really great person. Their family is just the sweetest!

Me: MARRY?! I'm going to marry Mike?! Mom how can you decide on this without my permission! I only love Luhan! I don't want to be with anyone else! Even if he doesn't forgive me, even if he finds another girl, I will love no one else but him! I rather be single for the rest of my life than to marry someone who is not Luhan!

...To Be Continued~~~

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