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Blood Moon

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Blood Moon
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Author :: Nefelibatas_world

Reviewer :: Jiminandhisjams9

First Impression :: 15/20

Overall, I had a quite good first impression when I saw your book - that faltered a little after reading your blurb though. I'd say the strongest part of it is the cover when it comes to one's first impression.

» Cover - 10/10
The cover is pulchritudinous. There is nothing to say, it's very well-done, it matches the theme of the book and it gives very powerful and strong vibes. The font is interesting and catchy as well as the mixture of colors!

» Title - 4/5
It's interesting yet slightly baffling. I wouldn't say it really pulled me in but it's nothing overused either. Nonetheless, it fits the storyline.

» Blurb - 2/5
Honestly, the only good thing about your blurb is the way you kept it mysterious. However, most of your sentences are incorrect and the choice of quotes isn't that intriguing either. I feel like you could've definitely picked something more captivating but that's not the main problem, your sentences are. So I came up with a solution for you to fix your sentences. It's up to you if you want to use this example or try to edit them on your own.

"Why is there a burning sensation in me every night when there is a full moon? It's like drinking blood with flames - tastes awful. Lumping in my throat and burning my soul..."
- Y/N

"Aren't we supposed to recognize each other between time and space?"
- Jungkook

The disaster an inner fight can create is more demonish than war...

A story brimmed with mystery...

Every emotion that puts lives at their stake...

What will happen? Who'll win?

Beginning of a new start :: 7/10

Except for your grammatical mistakes, I thought that the first chapter was a pretty good introduction despite not having anything eventful. I was able to appreciate your magnificent descriptions as well as realize what type of mistakes you have in your writing - to sum it up, it was an introduction of the theme of the book and your writing.

In the third chapter, you switched POVs too frequently which in my opinion was unnecessary. You could just keep the text in 3rd person, that way the narration can be about anything - the surroundings and every characters' emotions.

Concept & plot :: 22/25

Can I just say that I found the idea of having a painter who can paint anyone based on a description of their beauty, damn genius, and original? It obviously wasn't the main part of the plot, but it's a great addition. For me, it's the small stuff that hits me the most. I hope you'll use this catchy idea more in your story.

The overall storyline was very eventful and quite creative. I am not a fan of the whole werewolf-concept, but you really managed to intrigue me, in fact, I read all those 37 chapters in a little less than three days. There wasn't that much interaction between Y/N and Jungkook, but that only makes the reader want to read further.

Characters & emotions :: 14/15

Beautiful, beautiful! The emotions were portrayed splendidly. In chapter 10, I could feel the frustration, the puzzlement that the characters feel, how fervent it all was. Once again, very, very beautiful descriptions of events, sentiments, and just everything!

I also loved how you let the readers have a peek at the side characters' POV. The only thing that didn't sit well with me was when Taehyung called his maids as "maids" - if he is a humble and kind person, that is not how he should be calling them. My suggestion is that you give the maids names like Ms. Han, Ms. Hwan, or whatever you want. He sounds like a spoiled brat, which is clearly not his persona. So I hope you consider this as I don't believe it was done on purpose.

Tone & style :: 9/10

Despite not having good grammar, you have added interesting adjectives, good vocabulary to execute your descriptions interestingly and I really appreciate that. I was very surprised, and I genuinely praise you for the effort you've so evidently put in your descriptions. It doesn't make the reader forget about your mistakes, but it's still remarkable and, once again, I just couldn't help but admire you for this.

Nonetheless, I will admit that sometimes you dragged on a little too much which made me skip some paragraphs. Also, some of the paragraphs were quite long, so watch out for that as well. Some readers really detest long paragraphs - I think 5 lines is the limit.

Another thing I had to pin out is your tenses' inconsistency. You kept on switching from past tense to present tense even though the things you were saying were not flashbacks or parts of dialogues. Please be mindful of those little details and make sure that when you edit, your text is all in one tense unless there are flashbacks.

Grammar :: 11/20

Frankly, I've never been a fan of people who exaggerate punctuation. It's very necessary to put five question/exclamation marks to prove the characters' emotions. When people use this cartoonish punctuation style, it often makes the reader feel as if the story is just a jest. Also please keep in mind that you have to put a space between any sort of punctuation mark such as ellipsis.

"Maids stepped forward..." and "Princess was a humble person..." - these two sentences are wrong and I decided to point this mistake out because I've seen it happen quite a few times in your book. You need to add an article before these sentences because it sounds as if the person you are talking about is called 'Maids' or 'Princess'. Therefore, you should change your sentences to this instead - "The maids stepped forward..." and "The princess was a humble person..."

However, if someone is calling Y/N "princess" then you do have to capitalize it - which you did.

Some of your words were randomly capitalized, I am not sure if that's a typo, but watch out for that when you edit. "Your Son and My mate is handsome, just like you Alpha!" - this is an example of what I am talking about, capitalizing the words son and my is unnecessary. Also, if you are talking about more than a person (them - your son and my mate), you can't say "they is handsome" - "they are handsome"

Overall your grammar wasn't that good and it's probably the only thing I'd like you to work on for this story. I understand that you may not be a great English speaker and that's alright, as I said earlier, I value your spectacular execution.

TOTAL :: 79/100