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Sasaeng

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Sasaeng
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Author :: sejiyex

Reviewer :: Jiminandhisjams9

First Impression :: 12/20

» Cover :: 6.5/10

I believe that the cover is very pretty, I like the font. However, I find it kind of weird the way Jimin’s picture is horizontal and the quote is completely unreadable. The cover doesn’t even exactly match the plot. It’s definitely hard to find a picture that perfectly matches the plot, however, I do think that the red really suits. Really, my biggest complaint is the way the photo is horizontal.

» Title :: 2.5/5

There isn’t much to say frankly speaking... “Sasaeng” is a common word for K-Pop stans, not everyone knows it, but pretty much the majority does. It sure suits the plot but it’s not that original. You definitely could’ve played around with it more.

» Blurb :: 3/5

I do think that the blurb is okay. There is nothing extremely unusual about it but it does leave you with some interest, especially for people who adore these types of plots. “Short and sweet” I’d describe it. 

Beginning of a new start :: 4/10

I wasn’t too captivated by the first chapters as nothing much happened. I feel apologetic because there really isn’t much to say, in these first chapters, because they are usually uneventful, I analyze grammar. However, I do like that you gave “equal” attention to both, Y/N and Jimin. It was a pretty normal starter, we were introduced to the characters and their roles. 

(This is very much of a side note, but i noticed you worrying about the length of your chaters a lot suring author notes. And let me tell you that it doesn’t matter. Personally, I just prefer stories that are longer, but you go your own pace. If a chapter needs to be short for whatever reason, that’s alright :)

Concept & plot :: 13/25

For this whole book, I really don’t know what to say when it comes to the plot. Your concept is not that unique, I’ve seen it before and to be frank, it doesn’t stand out. I know your story is incomplete, but I’ve read fifteen chapters, excluding the “00” and I can summarize it in three lines because it was uneventful. 

I’ve also found it confusing, and I am not sure if that is because you haven’t revealed parts of the plot yet or because I didn’t catch onto something. For example, I don’t understand why Jimin portrays the main female lead as a police officer... at first, I thought she was lying to him, but then you wrote about them talking about her new job at a café. Plus, Jimin’s and Y/N’s relationship develops- it doesn’t develop to me because the readers don’t get to see it. 

It’s like they are just suddenly dating? Jimin, an idol who is supposed to be careful about this stuff, just starts dating a person he has only met once? And because I am confused, I am assuming that we (the reader/s) haven’t seen their first encounter yet which is alright (however, if they have a met at a fan sign, please clarify it or do so later in the storyline because as you can tell I am clearly discombobulated). But I just don’t think that the way their relationship flowers makes much sense or is genuine enough. We know that Y/N is “unwell”, she is a Sasaeng after all, notwithstanding, Jimin is a whole another concept. And sure, in this story dating might not be strict or whatever, but that doesn’t mean that Jimin doesn’t have a reputation to keep up with.

I hope that I have explained my opinions towards the plot well because I feel like it’s hard to explain, so if you have any additional questions/concerns, please feel free to reach out to me. 

Characters & emotions :: 6/15

Honestly, the characters weren’t all that outstanding to me. I do think that their relationships were portrayed well, and I am referring to the BTS members and their staff (as I have already explained about Jimin and Y/N). 

I have read a comment saying that in this AU, the characters are more careful about recording at a fan sign, and that’s fine I guess. But I just feel like it’s kind of stupid and unrealistic how the members think that just recording them and looking at them lovingly is creepy… especially the way Hoseok confronted Jimin. We as fans, not even Sasaengs, appreciate BTS’ hairstyles, them sweating like normal people, drinking and just even breathing. I am not bashing that at all because I do that too, what I am saying is that looking at your bias with heart eyes is not a crime and definitely not creepy. What do you expect? Me to look at Jimin like he murdered my mother?

Tone & style :: 4.5/10

Firstly, I thought you had very short paragraphs, like literally two lines per paragraph, then suddenly in chapter nine, you wrote a whole essay. Please do not CONSTANTLY make your paragraphs too short, you can obviously have short ones but don’t do it unless it’s necessary. Same thing for long paragraphs, especially for these ones.

Your writing style is definitely not the worst one that I have seen, which doesn’t at all make it good. I didn’t see you use any interesting words or sentences which makes your writing kind of boring, and the grammatical errors don’t do you any justice either. Apart from typos, your descriptions aren’t appealing and you don’t use many rhetorical devices. You also need to work on your phrasing because it sounds kind of awkward. 

Grammar :: 10.5/20

“Jimin’s favourite; bulgolgi.” - in this sentence we face two crucial mistakes that you have quite often in your writing. Firstly, because “bulgolgi” is the name of a Korean dish, it needs to be capitalized. Secondly, in this case, you do not need to use a semicolon as you aren’t joining two independent clauses. “Jimin’s favourite, Bulgolgi.” - learning from this, you need to watch out for when you actually need to use a semicolon and when to capitalize words.

“And with the consistent fireworks; he truly wasn’t his best.” - This is another example of your semicolon misuse. Also, here we see an example of poor word choice since describing fireworks as consistent makes no sense. 

“Why is it so fucking cold,” - this is a question, so why would you use a comma to close the quotation marks? - “Why is it so fucking cold?” is how you write it correctly.

“Yea” - I don’t know if this is a typo, but you often type this instead of “yeah”. This is rather a question, but I am unsure why you call “BigHit” “iBigHit” - what’s the “i” for?

Total :: 50/100