Seesaw Review Shop 2.0

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Author :: swee-ty

Reviewer :: wuwtaetae

First impression :: 7/20

» Cover :: 3/10

That picture of Taehyung is absolutely gorgeous. Pure art, but what does it have to do with the story? The fonts look like they've just been thrown in there without any proper placement. The whole cover looks messy and very unprofessional. The font is one of the most basic ones and it doesn't really look appealing. I'd recommend you to go for a pic where Taehyung looks like he's in high school, the dress and all, and a font that looks neat, is well placed and stylish as well.

» Title :: 3/5

Well, the title fits the book but it's not really something intriguing. What you title your book matters because sometimes, people choose to read based on the title too. The book is about the difference in their statuses but it could be mistaken as social media statuses which might bring in people who want to read a text fic more than a proper novel. 

» Blurb :: 1/5

Well, I don't think it's well summarized. There's no catchy line that would've pulled me in, no paragraphs that tell what the story is without giving out too much. I don't understand what the conflict of the story is. The whole thing is based on the fact that Y/n's rich and Taehyung's not. That's the whole plot. It looks more like something from a K-drama. Now, let's go to what you could do to improve. The first part definitely has to go. The readers needn't be spoon fed on things like whom the story is based on. They know. With your cover, they'll know. Instead of having so many single lines, it could've been put into a paragraph which I think would look more professional. There are too many grammatical errors which just distracts me from reading and understanding the actual blurb.

Beginning of a new start :: 2/10

Well, it started out directly without much information dump, however, it started out with the most typical of scenes ever, with Y/n getting out of bed, starting her morning and everything, and then she goes to school. Just the usual stuff. But readers expect something different from the usual cliché. Start with a bang always. It'll get the readers hooked. There were too many pics there. They didn't really give me a chance to imagine things happening.

Concept and plot :: 15/25

Even though the story as a whole is cliché, there were some scenes that weren't. Like the backstory for why he doesn't like the rich. The fact that Y/n loves him already but doesn't show it in a "rich" way or abuse masked as love, that was why I gave you the marks I did. There's no information on why Y/n fell in love, how they met and everything surrounding it. People are curious about this stuff, people like first meetings because even though we live in a fucked up reality. All of us in some way or another believe in the fantasy of finding the one; the other half. So, personally, I would've preferred it if you would've written about how they met. 

Characters and emotions :: 3/15

I don't think finding, feeling, and seeing emotion in a script is possible. I don't think emotion is possible without prose and details. I don't think emotion is possible without you showing it. I don't need to be told she cried, I need to be shown, I need to see and feel. I couldn't feel anything while reading it because it was just a script; a rough plot sketched more than a written book. Characters were, well, no different from each other. They were all the same and it's because there's no personal characteristics to them. People, in real life, have different characteristics to them. Different things that make them different. We, as writers, write about people. Stories are about people, inspired by people, for people, therefore portraying a reality in what they face and feel is only fair. Try writing different scenes with them where they're in a situation and make different characters act differently. Try thinking about what you do when you're nervous, happy, sad, and all the emotions and maybe, make the character like you. There are multiple ways, and if you really wanna learn, Google is always available along with the writing community.

Tone and style :: 1/10

It was a script. A book shouldn't be written in that way. A novel, a book; something that tells a story must have prose in it. There was a lack of prose-dialogue balance in there. Too many pictures to fill up the lack of prose, too many characters talking, and too many redundant dialogues. It wasn't aesthetically appealing nor did it make sense. It just isn't how you write a book. I understand that you're an amateur but please read books that are actually published instead of fanfictions. Because trust me, I've been reading for about five years, fanfictions alone and they're not the ultimate example on how books should be written. Some of them are good, really, really good, so well written it could be published but not all of them are like that so the thing I'm trying to convey is read actual books, upgrade your standards so that you know what's a good book and what's not and then draw inspiration from them. That's how I did it and so far, I'd like to think that it's working. 

Grammar :: 2/20

The change of tenses are so constant that it makes the book very, very grammatically wrong as a whole. Maintain a single tense consistently and just go with it throughout the book. There are too many period marks. Ellipsis. That's what those three dots are called. And they're three dots. Only three. Too many exclamation marks and too many question marks. One is enough unless you're casually texting your friend and just want to be dramatic. There are these 'cus'es, 'u's, 'ur's, 'pls'es, and please, please, take the time to write the abbreviations of those words. There are spelling errors too. No dragging of words too. Please. No uppercase too, please. And use commas instead of ellipsis. The em dashes exist too if you want a pause.

Total :: 30/100