┌────────═━┈┈━═────────┐ Seesaw Review Shop Season 2.0 └────────═━┈┈━═────────┘
The right place to get honest and constructive feedback on your books whenever you want it. Everyone is welcome and we really hope...
The cover was very neat looking, I'll give you that. But it failed to reflect the central theme of the story, much less what Hoseok's character is supposed to be like.
» Title :: 2.5/5
The title seemed unique, yet slightly uninteresting. I also didn't see how it holds much relevance to the plot.
» Blurb :: 1/5
While the vagueness might intrigue some people, it was in no manner like an actual blurb. Going in, I had absolutely no idea what the book was going to be like nor did it spark the tiniest bit of interest in me. The ideal length for a blurb is 100-150 words.
Beginning of a new start :: 3/10
The introductory chapter is supposed to set up a background for your story, and while your first chapter wasn't exactly something that I can classify as a prologue, it did provide a general setting for the rest of the book.
That being said, it was very poorly written. Even if I ignore the grammatical mistakes, the pace of the entire chapter was a huge turn off. I suggest either describing every scene properly or only include the first, where the MC's girlfriend breaks up with him.
Concept & plot :: 12/25
The concept and idea of your plot seems pretty original and is unpredictable. I really liked some of the underlying themes in the story and feel like they could send across a really strong message. That being said, the execution wasn't up to the mark. The proper writing style, which I will be discussing later, was lacking and that made it really difficult to understand what was going on in the story sometimes. Even now, I'm not entirely sure that I've been able to grasp the complete concept. The pov changes and the pace of the story were also immensely confusing, adding to the difficulties.
Characters & emotions :: 3/15
Not once was I able to connect with any of the characters. You never went deep enough to explore their emotions or their thoughts.
I can't form any sort of liking towards the characters if I don't know about them.
The only reason I gave you a few points was for the idea of the characters and their stories, which hold a lot of potential.
Tone & style :: 0/10
Your writing style definitely doesn't suit your story. In fact, it is improper for any story forms. You have written the book like a report, which is ironic considering your chapter titles. Stories are generally written in a narrative or descriptive form using techniques and components like foreshadowing, flashbacks, paralleling or literary devices.
I strongly suggest you read some well established offline novels to understand about different writing styles. It will help you in improving your descriptions which will automatically assist in developing your plot and characters better.
Grammar :: 17/20
The grammar was pretty good for the most part. There were minor punctuational errors for which I suggest proofreading your chapters.
Apart from that I noticed some repeated mistakes you'd made throughout the book, like not capitalizing the first letters of nicknames or using commas along side action beats. I suggest you pay more attention to how punctuation is used with quotation marks.
Extra Note :: I hope you don't get discouraged and take the criticism sportingly. Your book does have potential and there's still a lot of room for you to grow. If you practice determinedly and try to expand your horizons as a writer with the help of just a little bit of studying, I see a lot of chances for improvement.
If you need me to elaborate any of what I said feel free to ask in the comments!
Total :: 42.5/100
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