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Even roses have thorns

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Even Roses Have Thorns
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Author :: kookscake

Reviewer :: Chaotic_Lals

First impression :: 4.5/20

Cover :: 2/10
The cover seems off. The fonts doesn’t blend in with the cover and it’s a bit too dark to be legible. Also, you could’ve given the author’s name more clarity. The manip needs improvisation too. In short, all the elements in the graphic piece doesn’t go with each other. It doesn’t look really inviting nor does it look entrancing.

Title :: 2/5
To be honest, the title doesn’t make sense to me. It says that even roses have thorns; but that’s a given fact, isn’t it? If I try to read in between the lines, maybe you meant that even though roses have thorns, they’re beautiful, or that you need darkness to have light. But, there were no relevant terms in the title which suggested that idea to me.

Blurb :: 0.5/05
The synopsis had a lot of errors regarding execution. The .5 mark you got here is for the idea. Everything else from start to finish had errors in it.
Let’s start with the very first sentence. ‘An obsession is so beautiful and noble’. I’m pretty sure an obsession with drugs, alcohol or smoking isn’t ‘beautiful’ and ‘noble’. You should’ve removed the word ‘is’ from the sentence. ‘An obsession so beautiful and noble’. A word can make a difference, hun.
Moving on to the next part. ‘We, humans, are no exception!’ Here, the comma after ‘we’ wasn’t needed. The exclamation mark should’ve been avoided too. The whole of the synopsis is written in a serious tone. A sudden exclamatory sentence ruins that. And, it’s ‘exceptions’. Plural.
Then, ‘a mini Tae’ wouldn’t be how I would describe the child. Isn’t the child Y/N’s too? Also the next line doesn’t make sense. What do you mean by saying ‘it’s solely not her fault’? You did not provide enough scenarios to point out the fact that the ‘bad turn’ isn’t solely her fault.
Next line, ‘just like the thorns on roses, Y/N's nature may start pricking’. A rose’s stem isn’t pricked. It pricks other surfaces- it doesn’t get pricked. So I don’t really think that comparison you made makes sense.
Then of course, the last part. You could’ve incorporated that into an attractive sentence rather than just throwing it in plainly.
To sum it all up, the synopsis didn’t really make me want to read the book. It doesn’t provide me with any insight or such into the book, other than its genre. It doesn’t contain enough elements and was just confusing; like I mentioned above, most of it doesn’t make sense.

Beginning of a new start :: 1/10

Let’s talk about the introduction first. The first paragraph had so many ‘Y/Ns’, it actually hurts to read it all. Full of grammatical errors too. First off, when you write, write formally. Use formal English unless it comes to indirect speech. The writing style is very bland. I felt like as if I were reading out lecture notes, you know?
There should’ve been an ‘a’ after ‘Y/N is’ (in the very beginning of the introduction). You do not use commas where they are needed, either.
Moving further, I really wanted to stop reading the book right after the first chapter, you know? The reason is mentioned throughout the rest of this review so... let’s move on to the next topic.

Concept and plot :: 11/25

The concept and plot is good. The thing is, I’ve come across a lot of books with similar plots, hm? So the least you could’ve done is execute it the proper way. But no, you didn’t. The marks I gave you for this category is solely because of the concept’s originality. The rest went down the gutter due to improper execution.

Characters and emotions :: 6/15

The 6 you got here was for the characters. They were well thought out and had good profiles. It’s yandere, so I don’t know about the character development part.
Moving on to the emotions- I couldn’t relate to anything in the book. This could mainly be because of your writing style; very straight forward. So I guess you got to improve that first?

Tone and style :: 2/10

To put it simply, I found your writing style extremely mundane and bland. You do not have that ‘way’ you’re supposed to have when you write a book. It was like as if I were reading out lecture notes written by a hormonal teen. That’s the first thing. Secondly, you write informally. You can make your writing a tad bit better when you write in formal English itself. For instance, use ‘child’ instead of ‘kid’.
The writing style is perhaps the most important aspects of a book since it is interrelated to almost every other aspect of the book. Like I mentioned above, it’s mainly because of the writing style that the emotions conveyed were poor.

Grammar :: 8/20

Like I have already mentioned above, your grammar needs a lot of improvement. Starting off with punctuations, it’s mainly the commas. You do not use them where they’re needed, but use them wherever they aren’t needed. For instance there's a line which goes like this: “Thank you Y/N!”
Here, there should’ve been a comma after ‘you’.
Next off, using commas after a sentence in direct speech. You only use commas in such instances only when a period is to be used– that is, you use a comma rather than the full stop. This specifically applies to those sentences which make use of action tags. Of course, this doesn’t apply if the sentence is over and isn’t being continued further in indirect speech. For instance, let’s take this sentence from the first chapter: “Of course I won’t.”, she said, anticipation getting over her nerves.
The right form of this sentence would be as follows: “Of course. I won’t,” she said, anticipation taking over her nerves.
Moving on, we’ll talk about how you use ellipsis. The universal value of an ellipsis is 3. Nothing more. Nothing less. You do not follow that.
Then, the tenses. If you decide to right in present tense, you might as well stick to it. Switching between tenses is both confusing, and incorrect.
When you use an exclamation point and a question mark together, the question mark comes first. It’s not the other way around.
Lastly, your misunderstanding between ‘its’ and ‘it’s’. Now, I don’t know whether this is a misunderstanding or whether you just don’t bother using them differently; but since I did catch on to it, I’m going to explain. The term ‘its’ is a term which expresses something’s possession- similar to his or her; whereas the term ‘it’s’ is the abbreviated form of ‘it is’. Don’t get confused between them.

TOTAL :: 32.5/100