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Obey me

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Obay Me
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Author :: kpopcharmseu

Reviewer :: gukkeun

First Impression :: 8/20

Cover :: 4.5/10
The cover completely owns the mafia element without spelling it out. Nevertheless, there are a few things worth mentioning. Jimin does seem a bit irregular with the highlights around him fading out in certain areas. The italic font doesn't conform to the dark mood and a slight increase in size wouldn't hurt. Can't forget the blurry subtitles next to Taehyung. I can't for the life of me figure out what's written there. Very pointless. The blending needs some work as well. I can see the division of the cover, but Taehyung seems to be floating in mid air and the edge blending is unnatural. His upper body seems to evaporate into thin air. I'm not a fan of Jimin's face blocking his figure even if he's the main character.

Title :: 2.5/5
It suits. Most definitely. But the fonts, length, and emojis are a big fat no. It's messy. Incredibly messy. Especially the unnecessary emojis. The font is another thing. Not every phone could register the special font. They'll only see boxes, and what good would that do? It destroys the purpose of a title. The "BTS Mafia FF" is redundant too. Keep it short and simple. A mere "Obey Me" is enough. You can keep the extra PJM x Reader if you want but otherwise, nothing more.

Blurb :: 1/5
Too many ellipses. They're at the end of every sentence. It's an incorrect use of punctuation. What happens when you use too much of these guys "..."? Breathless. You sound breathless when you read it.

A world you have no idea about, an eerily similar place which keeps luring you towards it...a life you unexpectedly loved to live…

When you submit to him…

PARK JIMIN…

The rich and cold mafia…

I don't see a reason to read this book. There's nothing new that could grasp my attention and beg me to read it. The sentences aren't attractive enough to make up for the lack of excitement. Vary your word choice. Build rhythmic sentences. Don't rely on the sub genre to gain reads. Even if the word Mafia can lure in people like ants, don't use it to your advantage.

Beginning of a new start :: 3/10

The pace of the first chapter is fast. Incredibly fast. You squeezed in the lead's life story without going into depth regarding it. It was narrated, and it made her seem somewhat pathetic instead of having me feel sorry for her. You gave her the impression of an "innocent, pure untouched virgin" yet she enjoyed being touched by a stranger she met on the exact same night. Completely contradicts her persona. Was she begging to lose her virginity so fast or does she want to remain as the "pure" person that she supposedly is?

Jimin, the cruel mafia, shifted beds and slept in Jungkook’s to give the lead some personal space. The same lead he ordered to strip. Let’s not recall how he ordered his men to find him women to toy with. Clearly the change in personality was for the sake of the storyline to make her seem like a special girl he only came across once in his entire life.

Concept and plot :: 10/25

The plot is the typical mafia genre; very predictable and at some point, unrealistic. Jimin was said to be a frightening mafia boss, yet he softened the moment she stepped into the room? The whole honesty ordeal made him fall head over heels in love for a girl he knew nothing about? Does that mean he falls for every girl his assistant brought in? Their love seems forced due to the pace and zero reasoning. Instead of rushing their love life, focus on introducing them. Not in the sense of “Hello, I’m Jimin. I’m a mafia boss and I’m cruel and grouchy 24/7. I’m dangerous so be careful around me!” But how their lives were before meeting each other.