Seesaw Review Shop 2.0

Pinwheel

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Pinwheel
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Author :: Yoon_Gyu

Reviewer :: athenaxglamour_

First Impression :: 13/20

A short story with an angsty touch. I would lie if I say that it didn't attract me to read it.

» Cover :: 5/10

Well the cover is absolutely not doing justice to the title of your story. Its quality could be a lot better and the font can be more visible if we increase its size a little more. Anyway, let's examine your cover more in depth. 

1) explicit or direct view (the basics)

Author name, title, quote, and a relevant picture as a background. That picture definitely matches the title of your book. 

2) implicit or indirect view (how this cover relates to the book?) 

When I look at the cover this way, I do see its relevance to the story. You mentioned the word "Pinwheel" in the first chapter. After that, it didn't come again

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: A writer is a writer and they might be good in writing but the cover of their books speaks the creativity inside. I would suggest you order from a cover shop. 

» Title :: 4/5

So far, I haven't found the mystery behind why you named it "Pinwheel". You might disclose it in the future, but right now the story is revolving around a girl and a boy who are in love and all. The boy is narrating the story, and telling us that he doesn't want to forget the memories even if they hurt him.

  

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Please make sure you disclose the reason behind your title in the starting chapters. Relevancy is everything when it comes to the reviewing of the title of any book. Although you mentioned this word, I would like to see more of its attachments to the plot. 

» Blurb :: 4/5

This is the blurb of the short story so its length is alright. If we add more into it then it will sound too fancy and we don't want that. This blurb is giving enough insight into the story. Not revealing too much and nothing revealing at all. You did well in this area. 

Beginning of a new start :: 7/10

I actually loved the fact that you titled each chapter with the single letter of "Pinwheel". It was quite amusing to see chapters like it. But the beginning of the book was simple, not arousing so much curiosity. I actually fell in love with the fact that your plot was offering a deep understanding of emotional pain and emotional struggle. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Your way of writing is quite simple so I would suggest you to add more aesthetic touches to your book. Like adding banners and posters etc. It's merely a suggestion, but you can work on it to attract the attention of a reader. 

Concept and plot :: 20/25

No doubt, your book is very original. An entirely new plot to read. The fact that I could relate to the words was too much to handle for me. Are you a mind reader? Because you were speaking my heart in that story. Each word was screaming the emotional pain and struggle of someone who went through love. They don't want to forget the memory of their past even if it hurts them. Truly a realistic approach to the human mind and heart. Anyway, the plot is still ongoing so I can't conclude anything about this book yet. Keep writing! 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: Try to add the hidden concept of "Pinwheel" soon. You can add incoming chapters too. 

Characters and emotions :: 10/15

As the story is still progressing, the characters of your book are still in progress. Yes, they do emit rays of emotions but their words cannot say much about them. It's a short story so definitely it's hard to maintain the development of the characters. Usually in short stories, we use words instead of scenes to portray characters. Your characters, no doubt, scream emotions but they need more development. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip::Try adding a back story of the characters. Just in one chapter, like the way they used to be. I saw that you did it in a few chapters like in "coffee" and "flowers" but your audience needs to read more about your character's background. 

Tone and style :: 6/10

I wanted to confirm if it was a short story in prose verse form, or just a simple short story. Because sometimes your way of writing is like you are writing poetry but in many other places, you are using story form. Other than this, I don't find any many issues with the writing style of your book. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip::When you are writing a short story in verse, your writing style will be like verses. But if it's a story, then you use paragraphs. Be careful with the genre of your book. Mention it directly for the ease of the readers. Because your description says that it's a short story, but your writing style speaks a little bit contrary to that statement. You should use more vocabulary in your book. 

Grammar :: 17/20

I found that you aren't using punctuations in some places where they are needed. Sometimes you might switch from present to past tense too. Other than these two issues, I found no errors. Since it's a short story, you edited it well or maybe your grammar is so clean naturally. 

Extra Note :: Overall, I often wonder why only good writers are doubtful about their books. You are no exception. Your book is better than many. Keep going, keep writing. You are good to go now. 

Total :: 73/100