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Scarlet Snow

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Scarlet Snow
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Author :: BerryStrawberryy

Reviewer :: Jiminandhisjams9

First Impression :: 15/20

» Cover :: 3/10

Honestly, I do think that the cover is the weakest part of this oneshot. It makes sense, as it suits the storyline, but I have to say I found it very unattractive. The mixture of colours simply wasn’t it—the red font didn’t look good with the orange background, also just the font itself was kind of bland. Overall, I do think that changing the cover would be helpful.

» Title :: 5/5

I think your title was very interesting. It wasn’t the most unique thing I’ve ever heard in my life, but it matches the story in a somewhat metaphoric way. That’s just very enthralling. And the thing is, as the reader reads, they are curious to figure how the title would fit the story.

» Blurb :: 5/5

The blurb was very impressive, you did a marvellous job at keeping the mystery up with your story. However, the use of your vocabulary and overall talent when it comes to writing shows that what the reader is about to get into is some really great stuff. 

Beginning of a new start :: 10/10

Because this is a oneshot, there obviously aren’t ‘the first three chapters’ that I can judge. Nonetheless, your ‘disclaimer’ introduction was very accurate. Also, the start of your story really pulled me in.

Concept and plot :: 25/25

The plot was awesome along with the twist at the end. I think one of the most fascinating things about it–and usually people do this in oneshots–was the way you didn’t really reveal the mystery even though you did. And as confusing as it may sound, that’s exactly how it is. There is this suspense left at the end where the reader is questioning whether they got it right because that’s just how unbelievable it feels.

Everything about the plot and concept was spectacular, it leaves the readers (very frankly including myself) wanting more. Like I was left upset, as in, why did they never visit him again? What were the other members thinking? How did he manage to kill them, like finding them, etc?

Seriously, once again, the plot is marvellous! Even though a lot of oneshots do this, leave this confusion at the end of the story which obliges the readers to guess, they don’t always do it properly. On the other hand, yours was amazingly executed.

Characters and emotions :: 14/15

I do think that the personalities of the characters weren’t explored too much, yet I know that for these types of stories, such a thing is very much acceptable. 

The way the narrator describes Taehyung’s feelings and the boys’ friendship feels real; it’s believable. The bond is just so heart-felt that, as I said earlier, as a reader, I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘why? Just why are they not visiting Taehyung anymore?’. Well, at the end of the story, my guess was obviously because he was in a mental asylum and maybe his attitude became extreme. It clearly did if he was willing to go as far as putting his friends on fire.

Tone and style :: 10/10

I found just one paragraph that was a little too long. Other than that, the text looked (literally, physically) very neat. Also, the writing style was, of course, stunning. Your vast vocabulary was used greatly all throughout the story without exaggeration with just the right amount of it. Another thing that I loved about your writing was how the same consistency was kept wholly the whole time.

Some authors tend to write some parts better and other worse, so it’s kind of unbalanced. Nonetheless, you kept the same beautiful and poetic consistency the whole time. 

Grammar :: 19.5/20

There were no mistakes in your text. It was basically perfect except for one sentence where you forgot to put a comma after the subordinate clause “If it wasn’t for him, Taehyung would have never been able to complete his family”. Otherwise, you’ve made no other mistakes. There isn’t much to comment because the quality of your writing speaks for itself.

Total :: 91.5/100