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The Beautiful Accident

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The Beautiful Accident
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Author :: Kim_eats

Reviewer :: BerryStrawberryy

First Impression (10/20) ::

Cover (5/10) : 

 To be honest, the cover didn't exactly catch my eye at first glance. It didn't quite match the blurb either. It gave me a very… nostalgic vibe, somehow. The typeface used for the title of the story wasn't very appealing either, I suggest using a different colour and style. 

I would also recommend adding a subtitle and using a more professional font for the author's name. 

Title (1/5) :

I suppose the title does hold some relevance to the story, but it is still very common and doesn't exactly do justice to the theme and emotions portrayed in it. 

Blurb (4/5) :

The blurb was near perfect. It was the correct length and it gave me a rough idea of what the book was going to be about, yet, was completely spoiler-free. The only thing missing was a hook (quote from the book) at the beginning. 

Beginning of a new start (8.5/10) ::

The first chapter wasn't exactly the perfect prologue, yet it did have a certain vagueness to it, and in just the right amount. Authors often make the mistake of completely describing the characters at first glance, which you avoided doing quite smartly. The beginning was quite predictable, but it made me want to keep reading at the same time. 

Concept and plot (8/25) ::

Not gonna lie, I had a really difficult time breaking this plot down. I kept hoping the story would grow into something different as I read further, but so far it is pretty much following the same enemies-turned-lovers storyline. There is a chance, since the book is still ongoing, that it would evolve further but I am marking it based on just what I have read as of now. 

We talked about the idea, let's talk about the execution. The pace of the story was a little confusing; it was moving too fast, yet seemed slow at the same time. This was because the events taking place were very rushed but it's presentation was monotonous and slightly uninteresting. 

This might sound slightly superficial, but you know when they say 'the X-factor is missing'? That is exactly the problem with this book. 

You were adding different ideas, but weren't seeing any of them through.  

Characters and emotions (9/15) ::

This criteria is particularly important for books with contemporary genres, such as yours. Since there is nothing fancy and particularly captivating about the plot, writers would have to work extra hard with the characters to portray them so beautifully that a reader gets attached to them. 

While you didn't do a bad job in general, I couldn't exactly connect with any of the characters. All I could feel from the MC was her rage, anger and cold behaviour. There was nothing that I could relate to so far. This character has a lot of potential, especially being a strong working woman in a male-dominated industry. I suggest you explore that side of hers more and try to get in touch with her emotions. 

I believe that if any character holds even the tiniest bit of relevance in how a story turns out, they should be presented with multiple layers. No character's purpose should be just to be a side-kick in the MC's story. 

For example, so far, all I've seen of HyunWoo's character has been solely directed towards sidetracking HeeJae's progress with Yoongi, and that doesn't sit well with me. He doesn't have a background nor any noticeable character traits; nothing unique per say. 

Also, another reason why the story seemed to be at a standstill, I don't see much character development so far. Sure, Yoongi and HeeJae develop slight feelings toward one another, but it wasn't exactly a blooming growth on their part. 

And you know the monotonous feeling I was talking about? Maybe if you try exploring the characters a little more deeply and the reader actually feels the things they feel, it might go away. Occasionally narrating their thoughts might help too. 

Tone and Style (6/10) ::

What lacks in the plot, you can always make up with the writing style. I've seen authors who take the simplest of ideas and paint over it so beautifully with their words that you never want to stop. 

I previously mentioned that you should explore the characters' emotions more deeply; well, your writing style plays a major role in that. I can see that you have, in fact, tried embedding multiple emotions in some parts. But the reason that it probably didn't come off as you wanted was because of the way it was written. While you don't need any fancy vocabulary, I recommend using more literary devices. 

You could switch it up from the narrative writing a little and go for descriptive. Use metaphors, hyperboles, anti-climax and climax, but be careful not to make it over the top. 

Using techniques such as flashbacks, paralleling and foreshadowing for the narrative parts helps in spicing it up as well. 

And I would avoid using time skip tags like "4 months later", especially in the very first chapter. If a part of the plot doesn't involve constant switching or follow a particularly confusing time-line, I'd rather not. Instead of dictating the time skip, you could explain it in the very first sentence. Maybe something like, "it had been nearly four months since the incident at the club and safe to say— things had been quite interesting." 

Grammar (15/20) ::

I noticed you capitalized entire sentences in some places, which is grammatically incorrect. Resort to using exclamation marks to depict yelling along with surprise as well. 

Another punctuational mistake to be avoided, is using two punctuation marks together, i.e., "?!". When a question is supposed to express anger/shouting/surprise, using only an exclamation should suffice. 

Example: What are you doing in there! 

(Putting an exclamation mark at the end of an exclamatory question isn't grammatically incorrect but should still be used sparingly; try covering up with action/verbal tags instead.) 

Note:: An interrobang works here too but I wouldn't recommend using it. 

You also used the term 'atleast' multiple times, when it should be 'at least'. 

 Apart from this, and some other minor mistakes, you seem to have a good grip on the language. Though, there were still a couple of rogue commas, misused prepositions or awkwardly structured reported speech that may have slipped your sight. I suggest proofreading the chapters a couple times more before you publish. 

Extra Note :: I hope you take my review sportingly and don't get discouraged! I know I was a little hard on you but this story does have potential. I'm counting on re-reviewing it once the book finishes. Incomplete/Ongoing stories can never be judged accurately. 

If you need me to elaborate any of what I said, feel free to ask in the comments! 

TOTAL :: 56.5/100