┌────────═━┈┈━═────────┐ Seesaw Review Shop Season 2.0 └────────═━┈┈━═────────┘
The right place to get honest and constructive feedback on your books whenever you want it. Everyone is welcome and we really hope...
As a whole, my first impression of your book was sincerely bad. I knew it was going to be one hell of a ride, and sadly, this is not a compliment. For you, there is a lot to hear from me, I hope you can take my constructive and maybe slightly ironic criticism.
» Cover :: 1/10
It's disastrous. Clearly, you've put zero effort into it and just placed a random font with some Jimin photo and voila! Everything about it needs to be changed, especially the font. It's extremely (with no exaggeration) unappealing and as I said earlier, it looks offhand.
» Title :: 1/5
Your title makes no sense, it straightaway reveals the fact that your English isn't good. "My First Sight" sounds like the person was blind and after getting eye surgery, the first thing they see is whatever or whoever you are talking about in the story. I am sure you meant something like "At First Sight", but it's still very trite. I advise you to forget this idea.
» Blurb :: 1/5
Boring, prosaic, poorly written and full of grammatical errors. There are some very unnecessary spaces between words and punctuation which is an extremely bothersome and common mistake. Why do people even do this? Is it a typo? Or do you just genuinely not understand? And this is not an insult, I too am genuinely flummoxed.
Just from it, we know how the story goes and once again - it's a damn cliché. Your grammar makes it five-thousand times worse, so you can start with fixing that. Here is how I'd edit it if I were you, then it's up to you whether you want to follow this suggestion or not:
Ever since the first time I saw you, I fell in love. I wanted to be your girlfriend. I wanted to show you my love. I wanted to be by your side. To confess my immense devotion for you, I'll have to be friends with you first. In the end, will I be able to tell you about my feelings?
This book is a work of fiction and it is completely written by me. Please do not plagiarize my work!
As you've seen, I made it more interesting by adding some new words and sentences. I would also like for you to add why was she so in love with him from the very beginning - because writing it like this just makes it sound dumb and reasonless. Also, why is it so necessary for them to be friends first? Or why point it out? It's kinda... it makes no sense.
