14 Years [GNR/Mötley Crüe]

61. La Belle et la Bête

Axl:

"Can I've a cigarette?" She asked me after dragging me out along with her from the room full of chaos. I don't think the other's even noticed us leaving in the middle of their arguments.

I felt confused. Not just confused, maybe even a little disappointed at her. Her mother was over there, fighting everyone and everything for her. She was there standing up for her cos' she won't do that on her own and instead of being there; she chose a silent walkout. WOW.

"Hello!!" She tugged at my arm upon receiving no response.

Maybe I am just a sexist asshole, but I don't like her smoking. She didn't start smoking until a few years back! There was no need to start a new shitty habit. By asking me for a cigarette, she only managed to piss me off more than I already was. I wanted to ask her what the actual fuck is wrong with her? Helene was doing all of that for her and she was so... ungrateful? Fuck! I wish I had a mom like this who would stand up for me and I know this is what she wanted as well and now when she finally has it; she is just treating it all like shit!

I asked her what the fuck was wrong with her as we climbed down the stairs into the living room, which was flooded with a few drunk uncles and a bunch of children running around recklessly. But all she did was give me a confused look. As if nothing had happened. How? Just how do you not react?!

"Why did you just agree with all the things that she-"

"Just cos' I remained silent doesn't mean I agree with her. Look, she is an elderly woman who no matter what happens she isn't gonna change her views, so what's the point of me wasting my energy in arguing with her! I don't have to prove to her anything, not even the fact that I get paid way more than she can imagine." She shrugged like it was no big deal

"But how can you not react like..... can I tell you something? You really need to stand up for yourself. Like whether they understand or not is secondary. You can't just let people talk about you in that tone. I still remember how you barely reacted when that asshole yelled at you while we were backstage." I explained to her. It felt like I was the only person with whom she could argue while she takes all sorts of shit from everyone else. I didn't want her to beat up people. Just speak up for herself. It pisses me off to see her let people do this.

"Which asshole?"

"Your ex. The one from New York!"

"Aah, Jordan." She chuckled, "Well, I wasn't gonna beat him up. Or anyone else, for that matter. I am not you and neither do I wanna be like you." She replied while it left me wondering how exactly did the ghost of Gandhi possess her.

"Besides, I am not upset by whatever people say about me. I really am not. By giving any attention to people who speak to me this way, I am only giving them the attention," She spoke as she walked out towards the patio of the house while I simply kept following her like I always have.

"And, I don't wanna give them the satisfaction I feel every time I manage to piss you off." She said with a toothy grin. She always smiles. Always. I don't know if she even realizes how much she smiles. Seeing her smile always felt soothing. It reminded me of being a tiny kid and sticking my tongue out and letting the first snow of winter touch it. But, I wasn't gonna tell her this cos' then she would become too cautious while smiling. I don't want that.

"You are saying that-" I raised an eyebrow at her. Sure it's annoying, but it's kind of cute that she gives me that attention.

She grinned in reply, "Shit, my secret is out now what will I do?" She laughed as we kept walking and the shore came into sight.

"Can you give me a cigarette now?" She asked again, "I don't have any. I will buy you one later."

"You don't have to pay me for a cigarette. I just said that cos' I don't exactly like you smoking also you said you were thinking of stopping, right? Then why are you so keen on fucking up your own body?" I asked as I rolled my eyes before reaching into the pocket of my jeans and pulling out the pack of Marlboros.