14 Years [GNR/Mötley Crüe]

22. Happy New Year

Nadia:

It's been three weeks since I told him, I love him as well. It was the most happiest I have ever seen him, it was surprising to think that my words meant so much to him.

He had his first Christmas with us. Dad got me a new reverb pedal. For him a small keyboard, apparently dad caught him sneaking into dad's practice space and use the one dad owned. I got dad a leather wristband. William got him the Jeff beck live album. My gift for William was a white leather jacket, and his gift to me was.......... complicated as expected.

He got me or us two matching rings, or promise rings, one with his name and one with mine. Of course, my brain froze, but he told me to accept it only when I felt like it. It wasn't meant for anything HUGE next year, but more like we were committed to what we have now.

"Hey, you wanna go to that New Year's party?" He asked slumping down on the sofa beside me.

"Nah, Can't we just stay here?" I asked

"Oh come on, it will be cool!" He said

"No, I don't want to. But you should go, seriously. I think I will just stay here with dad. Like he will be left alone, so?" I shrugged as he nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay then, I guess I will take Jeff, haven't seen him much since the holidays began." He said

o0o

"So I guess it's again you and me kiddo." Dad sighed as he was opening the new wine bottle with a corkscrew.

I don't know why that made me slightly disappointed.

"What did she say?" I asked

I didn't know, I was curious and ready to talk about this finally I think.

He looked puzzled for a second before he understood whom I was talking about.

"She just wants to meet you. She will be in Seattle in March. So if you agree, she would like to talk to you, she sounded like she really wanted to be a part of your life. If you ask me, I think having her in your life will only do good, but then again it's up to you." He said

"I need to think. You know what she was like the last time we met, I... I can't just forget those simply because she apologized. Tell her I need to think about it." I said as he nodded

As I walked into the living room, switching on the TV, they were showing clips of the new year celebration from across the world. Dad had put on something by the Everly Brothers.

I heard the phone ring as dad walked to attend the call. Apparently, the guitar player of the band that was playing at the local club bailed at the last moment, and they needed a guitar player, dad stepped into the role, so I guess for this year it's only me and TV and wine. This was nothing new, has happened once or twice before, I am alright.

Well, at least this year wasn't a complete waste of time. I met a lot of new people, I love them all, especially one of them. I smiled thinking about it.

Did she really mean it when she told dad that she wants to be a part of my life? Last time I saw her was at court, where she told me the biggest mistake of her life was bringing me into this world because I chose dad over her. Well, I didn't ask you to give birth to me mother, if I could go back in time, even I would choose to not be born. Why?!!? Why do I have to always think about her and kill my mood?!?

I looked at the clock it was quarter to 12. Fifteen more minutes for 1978. Sighing I got up from the sofa taking the wine bottle dad was opening before. Fuck glasses.

Entering my room I saw the small brown velvet box on my dresser with the two rings in it. I sighed, walking towards it and picking it up.

Should I? I don't know, maybe I do. I do love him, but I think the only problem between us was, I couldn't properly communicate with him, I couldn't open up to him all the time and tell him what was eating my brain, I think he notices that as well. Maybe it was his temper which maybe I find a bit intimidating. He was unpredictable, one moment he would be the sweetest thing on earth while the next moment he would turn into a beast who had no control over his actions, last week he got angry about something silly and broke a vase, I obviously covered for him. Sometimes I try to talk him out of it, but I am starting to realize that if he was having a meltdown it is better, I leave him alone, I locked myself in the basement after the vase incident and remained in there until I felt that he was back to normal. But I was fine with looking past all of these, I loved him and he loved me.