14 Years [GNR/Mötley Crüe]

66. With or Without You-I

Happy Holidays guys also
DISCLAIMER: Not a happy chapter :'(

Nadia:

Waking up this morning wasn't pleasant. The memories from last night ran over me as my head throbbed. It felt lonely and cold to wake up alone in the guest bedroom; the usual warmth from every morning when he snuggled into me was missing. I didn't like it.

Today wouldn't have been like this if we made any attempts to sort things out last night itself. Maybe I should've tried more instead of unleashing a thousand of my problems onto him, but it was true—every word I said was how it felt. There was no point in ruminating about last night. That was clear as crystal.

We didn't speak or even looked into each other's eyes for a second when I went back to our room to grab my clothes. The scent of my shower gel combined with his cologne in the air told me he was fresh out of the shower. The backpack on the bed confused me. A lot of his clothes were thrown around the room and some of them stuffed into the bag.

"What?" He turned towards me, noticing my gaze.

I shook my head and swallowed my confusion and doubts before reaching for a mustard yellow button-up blouse and a black skirt that reached below my knees. "When will you be back?" I asked him, much to the disappointment of my ego that didn't want me to speak to him.

"Tonight... But just in case." He replied, "Have you seen my driver's license?"

"Top drawer," I said, pointing to the dresser, realizing that the reason behind turning the room upside down was just him searching for ID. I heard him mumble thanks as I walked into the bathroom. When I came back outside after a quick shower, the room was still a mess, and he was on the phone. Angela, I presume.

Leaving my hair to air dry, I fixed my face. My face looked weirder than usual. It wasn't clear to me if the reason behind the weirdness was my swollen eyes or my nose pin. I haven't adjusted to seeing either of them on my face, especially the latter. There was no pain, but I wasn't sure if it suited me. I was in a lot of pain last night to listen or ask anyone if it looked good on me.

I listened to him laugh and hum and chuckle at whatever she told. Staring out into the pool by standing in front of the floor-length windows. It wasn't clear to me if the call was completely coincidental or if he was doing it to spite me. So, I tried to pay no attention to him, picking up white eyeliner for my waterline. It was he who first suggested that I try white on the waterline many years ago. It made a considerable difference to my eyes and face.

After applying some mascara, I was completely done with all of my routine but one. Looking in the mirror, I didn't think there was much difference, and I knew that there wouldn't be any difference until I took that ultimate step. That alone could always bring an enormous difference to my face. No matter what I do, if I missed that one step, I would still look like shit. Why does lipstick have so much power over me?

There were a total of 32 lipsticks right now on my side of the dresser. Why? How? When? I've a lot of questions about it. Especially since I use the same three shades all the time. Thinking back, that shade from the night of the VMAs was probably the best one I've ever worn. I loved that one except it wasn't mine and nor do I have any idea about where it is now.

So, I applied the same coral pink lipstick by Revlon that I use every day. Our eyes meeting on the mirror as I tried to brush my hair before he looked away, the regret that I felt earlier from thinking about our fight disappeared the more I listened to him. The same anger and sadness from last night enveloped me as he talked to her about meeting his mom. I couldn't bear to stand there for another moment listening to things he probably never wants me to hear. Deciding to give him his space, I walked out.