14 Years [GNR/Mötley Crüe]

69. An Elaborate Circus

Nadia:

Every day when I wake up, I tell myself that I won't cry today but end up being wrong every day. Something happens all the time. Sometimes the day would turn miserable as soon as it begins and some other times it turns into a miserable one towards the end; right after giving me hope that I was finally doing good.

As actively as I tried to not think about him in the past week, that adamant his memories became to hold onto their seat in my mind. It would be the most random things every day. If today, it's waking up and trying to cuddle into him in my partial state of sleep the other day it's accidentally thinking about telling him something I saw and forgetting that we aren't together. Some other days, it's just running into some long black-haired guy in the lift.

As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I realized how much of a mess I was the night before and the night before that, and the one before. The swollen eyes were a norm now and so were the sunken cheeks, the dry and dead-looking skin, and the mess that my hair had turned into from not brushing for a week now.

Funny thing is, I was home for the past one week. I took the whole week off from work on personal grounds. They were obviously not happy, not that it matters to me.

I didn't know what I had to do to myself to seem a little presentable. Despite all the nice clothes I wore, I was certain if I went out looking like I did right now, someone would take me to the shelter for the homeless and I cannot let him see me like this.

I looked at Kate's reflection in the mirror before grabbing the cold spoon and placing it against my eye. He called me last night and asked me if I could come over and grab all my things from there. I said I would be more comfortable doing it if he wasn't there and he agreed though deep down I hoped he was there so that I could see him... Dammit

I will go there. Grab all my stuff. Keep the house keys under the front door carpet since he won't be there.

"This is not working!" I groaned pulling the spoon away from my eye and dropping it on the table. I still looked like the vampire coming out of the coffin after years in the Dracula movie.

"You have to give it some minutes." She chided pushing a blonde lock away and effortlessly looking like a million dollars when I highly doubted if she had even brushed yet.

"I don't care. He won't be there anyway!" I shrugged before grabbing my sunglasses from my bag, "And if I keep these on people aren't gonna get scared either."

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to come with you?" She asked

"Thanks but," I sighed reaching for a random red lipstick I owned.

Great! I look like I just drank blood.

It pained. Never in my entire life have I had a day where it was so hard to look not beautiful just presentable. My brows scrunched into a frown as I looked at myself. What the fuck was this shit?

"I look so bad!" I exclaimed before reaching for a tissue from its box to tone down the lipstick, that was when the sound of the bell ringing interrupted the morning news that Evie was watching in the living room.

"I'll get it!" We heard her yell from the living room, followed by the sound of the door opening, and then finally the sound of her erupting into laughter, "Jesus Christ, you've gotta be fucking kiddin' me!"

Anger pulsed through my veins. I didn't even have to step out of the room to know what she was laughing at. This too had been going on for a week and it stops today. When I stepped into the living room, I saw exactly what I expected at the door.